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Old 12-06-12, 08:06
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Merckx index Merckx index is offline
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Default Lance Armstrong jokes

Iím a little astonished there arenít many floating around on the internet, and no very good ones that Iíve come across. Surely his legacy wonít be complete until he inspires them?

Q: What is the most positive thing you can say about LA?
A: Probably his blood.

Q: How was LA able to pass hundreds of tests?
A: By ignoring calls from the tent, and just moving on.

Q: Didnít LA do a lot of good for a lot of people?
A: Yes, he distributed PEDS to more teammates than any other rider.

Q: How much is LA currently worth?
A: It depends. Do you mean on the black market, or over the internet?

Q: Wouldnít LA have won on a level playing field?
A: Yes, if the field had no hills, and numerous opportunities for taking short cuts.

Q: Name one race LA won without the use of PEDs.
A: Stage 16, 1995 Tour de France. Ridden in honor of deceased rider Fabio Casartelli, the peloton allowed LA and Casartelliís other teammates to cross the line first.

Q: Was it impossible for a rider to say anything bad about doping while LA was riding?
A: Not at all. Information on the drawbacks of any particular substance or procedure was always welcome.
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Old 12-06-12, 08:15
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Lance Armstrong won 7 tour de France.
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Old 12-06-12, 13:02
arjanh arjanh is offline
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Originally Posted by Zam_Olyas View Post
Lance Armstrong won 7 tour de France.
He won 7 times the Tour de Farce.
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Old 12-06-12, 14:30
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Maybe a Gilbert Gottfried version of "the Aristocrats" adapted to LA, JB, Motoman, Sally, and Suzanne.....
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Old 12-06-12, 17:15
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Lance's career went down faster and harder than an intern during the Clinton administration.
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Old 12-06-12, 17:47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleajactaest View Post

Sadly, none of LA jokes are remotely funny.
I'm sorry you believed in miracles
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Old 12-06-12, 17:52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merckx index View Post
Iím a little astonished there arenít many floating around on the internet, and no very good ones that Iíve come across. Surely his legacy wonít be complete until he inspires them?

Q: What is the most positive thing you can say about LA?
A: Probably his blood.

Q: How was LA able to pass hundreds of tests?
A: By ignoring calls from the tent, and just moving on.

Q: Didnít LA do a lot of good for a lot of people?
A: Yes, he distributed PEDS to more teammates than any other rider.

Q: How much is LA currently worth?
A: It depends. Do you mean on the black market, or over the internet?

Q: Wouldnít LA have won on a level playing field?
A: Yes, if the field had no hills, and numerous opportunities for taking short cuts.

Q: Name one race LA won without the use of PEDs.
A: Stage 16, 1995 Tour de France. Ridden in honor of deceased rider Fabio Casartelli, the peloton allowed LA and Casartelliís other teammates to cross the line first.

Q: Was it impossible for a rider to say anything bad about doping while LA was riding?
A: Not at all. Information on the drawbacks of any particular substance or procedure was always welcome.


____________________ all too true, I haven't read or heard a good one yet either

Maybe one one that starts out like this: LA, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar.....................
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Old 12-06-12, 17:57
Aleajactaest Aleajactaest is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zweistein View Post
I'm sorry you believed in miracles
I honestly believe you can laugh about anything. For me, laughing about sad/bad situations is part of my coping mechanism. There must be some funny LA jokes out there ( aside from the obvious stuff like "he is a joke") but I haven't seen them yet.

Some topics get joked about instantly. Some others, ( e.g. 9/11) never do.
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Old 12-06-12, 17:58
mountainrman mountainrman is offline
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Try...
Q What is the difference between NASA and a monastery?
A A monastery teaches friars...

And no I agree - I don't find anything to do with LA remotely funny..
I suppose we could modify a NASA joke?

What do both NASA and LA drink?
7 Up!

Last edited by Susan Westemeyer; 12-07-12 at 07:51. Reason: quoting deleted material
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  #10  
Old 12-06-12, 18:03
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleajactaest View Post
I honestly believe you can laugh about anything. For me, laughing about sad/bad situations is part of my coping mechanism. There must be some funny LA jokes out there ( aside from the obvious stuff like "he is a joke") but I haven't seen them yet.

Some topics get joked about instantly. Some others, ( e.g. 9/11) never do.
I once got a 3-day ban with no previous warning or misstep for an indirect 9/11 joke...
__________________
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Quote:
Definition of Wheelsucking:
When a rider refuses to take a pull even though it is tactically and/or strategically more sound to take a pull
*Refusing to pull when it is tactically and/or strategically more sound not to is therefore not wheelsucking
Change my pitch up/Smack my bitch up
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