^ Porter? Why are you drinking all these old, hand crafted beers anyway? What kind of peasant are you? This is the 21st century man. What's next? Hand crafted cheese? Blown glass? Timber frame construction? Hand made Czech. wood marionettes? Acorn fed ham? Paintings even? What a slippery slope.
Maybe you should stick to good 'ole American Coors or Bud. It's ultra modern. All head, no heart and as few hands as possible.
edit - I was drinking loads in Vancouver on the weekend (lots of Guinness, among many other types) along with eating acorn fed ham and much Asian. Hilarity ensued wherever I went. I'm glad to be back to my misanthropy though.