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Unbelievable doping excuses

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Unbelievable doping excuses

04 May 2010 11:31

Jesús Rosendo Prado has managed to come up with an excuse for doping that I have not heard before: Haemorrhoids. Not quite as good as saying that your stash of dope was for your mother-in-law or your dog but still pretty good.

We need a list of the best excuses.
"Listen, my son. Trust no one! You can count on no one but yourself. Improve your skills, son. Harden your body. Become a number one man. Do not ever let anyone beat you!" -- Gekitotsu! Satsujin ken
User avatar BroDeal
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04 May 2010 11:36

Who was it that blamed an elevated testosterone level on being drug tested after sex?

I quite like Floid's "I'm just a bigger man than you" defense
I'm not scared of getting oiled up and showing myself like that. I enjoyed it and I understand lots of my female fans did too….
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04 May 2010 11:39

BroDeal wrote:Jesús Rosendo Prado has managed to come up with an excuse for doping that I have not heard before: Haemorrhoids. Not quite as good as saying that your stash of dope was for your mother-in-law or your dog but still pretty good.

We need a list of the best excuses.


He wanted to make a donation to an orphanage with poor and abandoned children disproportionally affected by haemorroids, or with an almost unnaturally low blood volume...?
User avatar Bala Verde
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04 May 2010 11:48

My #1 is a tie between Hamilton's vanishing twin (which may have inspired an episode of House, oh irony) and the book that Mario de Clercq was supposedly writing.
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04 May 2010 11:58

53 x 11 wrote:Who was it that blamed an elevated testosterone level on being drug tested after sex?


And it was for artificial testosterone, at that.

Susan
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04 May 2010 12:04

53 x 11 wrote:Who was it that blamed an elevated testosterone level on being drug tested after sex?

I know Dennis Mitchell the American 100m sprinter used this excuse. Is there a cyclist that also used it?
petethedrummer
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04 May 2010 12:06

petethedrummer wrote:I know Dennis Mitchell the American 100m sprinter used this excuse. Is there a cyclist that also used it?


As I recall, Björn Leukemans. He said he was having sex with his girlfriend when the controller came by.

Susan
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04 May 2010 12:10

Adri van der Poel
Cycling
Busted for: Strychnine in 1983
Excuse: His pigeon-racing father-in-law fed him pie made from doped-up birds.

Junsuke Inoue
Billiards
Busted for: Methyltestosterone in 1998
Excuse: The 58-year-old wasn't taking the stuff to improve his pool game but to keep his cue stiff. "My wife deserved to be satisfied," he said.
"Listen, my son. Trust no one! You can count on no one but yourself. Improve your skills, son. Harden your body. Become a number one man. Do not ever let anyone beat you!" -- Gekitotsu! Satsujin ken
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04 May 2010 12:17

BroDeal wrote:Jesús Rosendo Prado has managed to come up with an excuse for doping that I have not heard before: Haemorrhoids. Not quite as good as saying that your stash of dope was for your mother-in-law or your dog but still pretty good.

We need a list of the best excuses.


Have you ever had a dose of piles?? not nice.
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04 May 2010 12:24

DIETER BAUMANN, runner
A conspiracy spiked his toothpaste with steroids. The Germans exonerated him.

Gilberto Simoni: His Peruvian candies contained cocaine.
"Listen, my son. Trust no one! You can count on no one but yourself. Improve your skills, son. Harden your body. Become a number one man. Do not ever let anyone beat you!" -- Gekitotsu! Satsujin ken
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04 May 2010 12:27

Susan Westemeyer wrote:And it was for artificial testosterone, at that.

Susan
iirc, it was used first by the big sprinters in the athletics.

not to be pedantic, but that excuse ('having a sex') was introduced first when there was no test for artificial testosterone (irms or in the us - 'isotope ratio' test was formally introduced around 2000). before irms, they used t/e ratio value of 6, then 4 and trending it.

the t/e test is still used but only for screening.
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04 May 2010 12:34

User avatar Susan Westemeyer
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04 May 2010 12:35

After a bunch of Chinese runners tested positive for EPO, their coach, Ma Junren, blamed the runners' diet of dried caterpillars and turtle blood potion.
"Listen, my son. Trust no one! You can count on no one but yourself. Improve your skills, son. Harden your body. Become a number one man. Do not ever let anyone beat you!" -- Gekitotsu! Satsujin ken
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I love Gibbo, but....

04 May 2010 12:36

My favorite doping excuse was when Simoni said the cocaine came from some candy his mother (grandmother?) sent him from Peru, or Bolivia or some such place. And the didn't know A THING about it. Way to go Gilberto! (I had a college professor once who said you could get out of his lecture if 1) you had a letter from a doctor or 2) if you could think of an excuse he had never heard.)

ps: he got off
brewerjeff
 

04 May 2010 12:38

the cat was sick on it
TeamSkyFans
 

04 May 2010 12:48

BroDeal wrote:Adri van der Poel
Cycling
Busted for: Strychnine in 1983
Excuse: His pigeon-racing father-in-law fed him pie made from doped-up birds.

Junsuke Inoue
Billiards
Busted for: Methyltestosterone in 1998
Excuse: The 58-year-old wasn't taking the stuff to improve his pool game but to keep his cue stiff. "My wife deserved to be satisfied," he said.


Keep them coming!
Ferminal
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04 May 2010 15:07

paola pezzo blamed a nandrolone positive on eating meat.

ed rader
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04 May 2010 15:14

Linford Christie
Gin Seng Tea, Seoul Olympics
riobonito92
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04 May 2010 15:27

Basso wins the Giro by ten mins and decides he needs to 'attempt to dope.'
Floyd and whiskey.
Tyler and the surgical procedure - eventhough there was no procedure.
Schumacher and diarrhoea.
USP and their diabetic mechanic.
Samples spiked - by guess who?
Stephen Roche - my blood was stored for medical research.

Frank Schleck - I gave 7,000 Euro to a gyneacologist, for training plans. But I never actually met him before or after to get these plans, or to check if he was qualified to give me the plans.
Doping died with Lance.
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04 May 2010 15:28

Jonathan wrote:My #1 is a tie between Hamilton's vanishing twin (which may have inspired an episode of House, oh irony) and the book that Mario de Clercq was supposedly writing.


The vanishing twin excuse is really a master stroke of pure genius.

cbc's list of top ten doping excuses. Some have already been covered, but Petr Korda blamed the positive test of nandrolone on eating too much veal.

Fidel Castro blamed Javier Sotomayor's positive for cocaine on the 'well-known Cuban-American Mafia'.
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