You're sure he's not commentating from his prison cell?
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You're sure he's not commentating from his prison cell?
I agree. He was terrible again. Thankfully Dan Lloyd was there to bring the quality up to a respectable level. It's incredible how clueless he still is after commenting on cycling for so many years. The man has no feeling at all on what is important and what isn't during the race.
You could feel even Lloyd was shocked by Kirbys incompetence.
Did he say that?! That's hilarious! If I was listening, the first question that would come to mind is: In prison for what? Tell me more about this weird story you introduced during a bike race. Are they in prison for murder? Did they kill someone in self defence? Did an angry mob of cyclingnews forum members with pitchforks in hand descend upon the wrong Carlton Kirby? Could this be a case of mistaken identity?
Meanwhile, the break continues to maintain a four minute lead with 100 km's remaining. Someone dropped back to get a bidon.
I haven't heard word one out of CK's mouth in 2021, and I have no reason not to believe your are telling the truth. The comment is funny because it opens the door for different interpretations from his colleague in the booth. There might be a stone-cold awkward silence (which would be funny); or his colleague could run with it and start an amusing 30 second back-and-forth with 100 km's remaining.
It all depends on what makes you laugh.
I will admit to having read Kirkby's book "the Magic Spanner" and it seems the pair of them enjoy a drink or ten.
Marty at the Healthy Ageing Tour seemed to develop a bizarre fixation with Anna Henderson's name, he must have said it twenty times in a minute when she came in to finish. "Anna Henderson, Anna Henderson now. Anna Henderson, the British rider, Anna Henderson the Jumbo-Visma rider. She's a good rider, Anna Henderson, she did a good leadout yesterday, it was a good finish from Anna Henderson yesterday. Anna Henderson was 4th in yesterday's stage. She's really stepped up this year, Anna Henderson, she rode for Sunweb last year did Anna Henderson, Anna Henderson the former alpine skier, so she's good at bike handling and fearless, is Anna Henderson". It made me think of that version of Shellac's The End of Radio when Steve Albini starts yelling "MARTINA NAVRATILOVA, YOUR NAME IS FUN TO SAY, MARTINA NAVRATILOVA!"
I guess he was just inspired by that Dutch commentator from the 1998 World Cup, who covered Bergkamp's goal against Argentina.
I don't know what is more breathtaking about your observation: Marty's commentary or your reference to Shellac and Steve Albini.
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Armchair cyclist
Moderator
I'm not too bothered by Kirby's inanities or flights of fancy during the uneventful bits of races: that is a mixture of characterful of slightly senile grandfather and tedious but well meaning uncle that I can put up with, and sometimes (like those family members) be glad to have around.
But what I cannot stand is gross ignorance of the sport he is meant to be commentating on: he announced that the incident that Zakharin had yesterday wouldn't matter because it was in the last 3km. Is he unaware that the rule does not apply to finishes that are uphill? And why does the co-commentator not correct him when he does that? Is apparent harmony in the commentary box (yes, I know they are not in the same room these days) considered more important than giving accurate info to those watching?
But what I cannot stand is gross ignorance of the sport he is meant to be commentating on: he announced that the incident that Zakharin had yesterday wouldn't matter because it was in the last 3km. Is he unaware that the rule does not apply to finishes that are uphill? And why does the co-commentator not correct him when he does that? Is apparent harmony in the commentary box (yes, I know they are not in the same room these days) considered more important than giving accurate info to those watching?
I never expected a Steve Albini reference in a commentator thread. But now all of a sudden I really need ES/GCN to hire David Yow.
Edit to add... Agreed on the Ant McCrossan comments. In my mind, for some reason I always assume he's in the studio sucking on a lollipop.
Edit to add... Agreed on the Ant McCrossan comments. In my mind, for some reason I always assume he's in the studio sucking on a lollipop.
How much would this cost? I'll leave my credit card details.
Yeah, that's Ant. He can typically be heard doing any British cycling stuff on ES as well as any UCI stuff they show. And as previously noted, he is the English-speaking on site announcer for any RCS races. "On-uh the start-uh ramp-uh now-uh is..." can often be heard in background.
KIRBY... He's not fooling me, he's been winging it for years now, drivel of the highest order ... Would love to know what Dan Lloyd truly thinks of him... we'll only find out after he's gone...Embarrassingly bad...Eurosport please please get shut!
It's astonishing how ridiculousy far you can go in your defense of Kirby. In the meantime it's quite shocking how completely dumbfounded he can be. I missed the prison-story (thank god) but it's remarkable how every other commentator seems to be able to comment on cycling without belittling the race/riders or the local views like he does.
Go back and take a look-see at what I said. I wasn't defending him at all. I figured the "Tell me more about this weird story you introduced during a bike race" sentence would quell any thoughts about me defending my man Carlton Kirby. But apparently that's not the case.
The point was about thinking of various ways the comments could have been received in the comment booth.
If he started talking about Carlton Kirby's who were imprisoned during a critical stage of the race, then yeah, that's something to be concerned about -- e.g. "MVDP is taking control of the race by launching a devastating attack! By the way, Sean, have I ever told you about my namesakes who are in prison?"
That's totally different than just shooting the schit when the break has a five-minute lead and riders are taking a pee break.
But yeah, to each their own. You're not wrong for hating my man Carlton Kirby. But I can say for certain that people I know who have zero cycling background have said they enjoy his commentary. And I will venture to guess that's why he is employed.
P.S. RIP Murray Walker. He was a fantastic F1 commentator who had a gift for the gab and was able to infuse an element of entertainment to every race, regardless of how boring it may have been.
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I'm really enjoying Adam Blythe's insights into tactics and how races are from a riders perspective. Reminds me of David Millar in that regard. Very enjoyable. He's not too up himself either, quite willing to laugh at himself tripping over language or making a wrong prediction.
Armchair cyclist
Moderator
How on earth can Kirby and Lloyd not be incredibly embarrassed to not know the name for the level of teams that Alpecin and Arkea are at? I'd be embarrassed to not know it in discussion here.
It is your job. Take enough interest in it to know basic facts, or get out.
It is your job. Take enough interest in it to know basic facts, or get out.
Make it like a radio i.e. without any images or just use still images. I would listen to it.
Lloyd also didn't know that Intermarche-Wanty-Gobert is a World Team until someone tweeted them. Too busy talking about how VdP, WvA and JA are big stars. Thanks for the insight!
Armchair cyclist
Moderator
Lloyd talked about how World Teams are obliged to take part in all the World Tour events: that is several years out of date too. During the quiet parts of races, should we not be able to expect informed, current information.
I expected ignorance from Kirby, but not from Lloyd. I guess that explains why Kirby doesn't get corrected by the co-commentators.
I expected ignorance from Kirby, but not from Lloyd. I guess that explains why Kirby doesn't get corrected by the co-commentators.
I think I heard Kirby saying, in the stage to Prato di Tivo, that the helicopter camera was looking for Chamois.
Great, I thought. Some mountain goats in a scenic landscape.
The next Kirby said was: Chamois are some kind of big rodents with 2 big front teeth... I suddenly realized he was mixing chamois with marmots.
I realize not everybody knows what a Chamois is, but before pretending to know what it is, do your homework please!
Great, I thought. Some mountain goats in a scenic landscape.
The next Kirby said was: Chamois are some kind of big rodents with 2 big front teeth... I suddenly realized he was mixing chamois with marmots.
I realize not everybody knows what a Chamois is, but before pretending to know what it is, do your homework please!
Ahh that goal! Wonderful enough to inspire everyone and their cat.
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