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Funny Things While Riding

So I am out riding, hitting the lower elevation trail heads, which means mild climbing and--much needed--rest during descents. In a parking area I find a big, yellow Hummer H2. This is unusual because normally half the vehicels at a real trail head are subarus and even SUVs are not all that common unless the trail head is near the suburbs where people take their family or dog for a two mile walk. As I get closer I think to myself that parking a H2 there is pretty ballsy. Some small membered poser is just asking for it to get keyed or rocked. As I make my turn to leave I notice that someone had climbed onto the H2's hood and taken a dump. Made my day.
 
Mar 13, 2009
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BroDeal said:
So I am out riding, hitting the lower elevation trail heads, which means mild climbing and--much needed--rest during descents. In a parking area I find a big, yellow Hummer H2. This is unusual because normally half the vehicels at a real trail head are subarus and even SUVs are not all that common unless the trail head is near the suburbs where people take their family or dog for a two mile walk. As I get closer I think to myself that parking a H2 there is pretty ballsy. Some small membered poser is just asking for it to get keyed or rocked. As I make my turn to leave I notice that someone had climbed onto the H2's hood and taken a dump. Made my day.
but that Hummer guy will knock some guy off his/her bike, sideswiping them on the next descent.
 
jmax22 said:
I don't get it, why would it be unusual for an SUV to be at a trailhead?

I am exaggerating somewhat. There will be more Subarus and Subaru clones than you can shake a stick at. The percentage of big SUVs is surprisingly small. A pseudo-SUV like a Honda Element is more common than a monstrosity like a Chevy Tahoe. I have never seen a Hummer parked at the trail heads I use. Someone would have to be as thick as two short planks to park a giant middle finger to the environment where that H2 was parked. I rolled up on it expecting to see that it had been keyed. You might as well hang a picture of Ted Kennedy at the Republican convention, walk away for a few hours, and think it will remain unmolested.

I don't have any sympathy for Hummers or the posers who drive them. They should be illegal. Their size makes them a needless danger to others on the road.
 
May 6, 2009
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At the TDF a few years ago I got a chuckle of seeing people ride downhill and seem to be concerned in getting photos then watching where they were going.
 
Jan 13, 2010
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Happy funny thing while riding

At the top of a hill on a misty spring training ride, my buddy pulled next to me and handed me an 8-oz bottle of Miller. Then he pulled on out for himself, so we toasted our good luck and he related how he got them.

Two teenagers in a car had pulled up next to him, opened a window, and offered him one of their beers. He said, "Thanks. Do you have another one for my friend up the road?" and they handed second bottle through the window. He thanked them very much and they took off up the road.

My strongest memories of riding were always of the better side of human nature.
 

buckwheat

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Sep 24, 2009
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I crashed into a curb no more than 50 yards from my front door today. I live in a condo on the Ocean and as soon as I started heading north on A1A, I saw a group heading south. I looked at them as I passed an intersection and the road curved slightly then I looked ahead and I was about to slam into the curb. I lost my balance to the right, scraped my crank on the curb and tumbled onto the grass and then the sidewalk. Was only going about 10 mph.

The crank is a Record 10 Ultra torque. I rode for about 55 miles and when I got home I sanded it down (1 inch surface scrape) and put clear nail polish on it. It looks good as new.

It wasn't funny but I had to laugh at how ridiculous it was.
 
BroDeal said:
I don't have any sympathy for Hummers or the posers who drive them. They should be illegal. Their size makes them a needless danger to others on the road.
That's absurd. Hummers are tiny compared to many other vehicles on the road, like buses and semis.

hummer-crash-small.jpg
hummer_crash.jpg


Getting hit by a Hummer is not much different from getting hit by a Prius.

The Hummer is an icon of anti-environmentalism due to nonsense and emotionalism, not reason.

No, I'm not a Hummer fan. But like others have noted, vandalizing the property of others is reprehensible and unjustifiable. Finding humor in that is disgusting.

Environmentalism is all too often fueled by a ridiculous religious furor that makes TV evangelists seem like reasonable people.
 
Sep 27, 2009
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Highly Amusing

So, Brodeal,

When the Hummer driver logs onto whatever forum Hummer drivers use and boasts about how he / she took a dump on a mountain bike seat, everyone's even?

After all, he / she probably hates cyclists.

I can't really think of circumstances where vandalising other people's property in such a disgusting way is funny, cool, amusing, impressive.

All that was achieved here is that your sad little personality got a buzz out of it, and the world became ever so slightly angrier and uglier.
 
Sep 27, 2009
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So, Brodeal,

When the Hummer driver logs onto whatever forum Hummer drivers use and boasts about how he / she took a dump on a mountain bike seat, everyone's even?

After all, he / she probably hates cyclists.

I can't really think of circumstances where vandalising other people's property in such a disgusting way is funny, cool, amusing, impressive.

All that was achieved here is that your sad little personality got a buzz out of it, and the world became ever so slightly angrier and uglier.
 
Sep 27, 2009
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BroDeal said:
As I make my turn to leave I notice that someone had climbed onto the H2's hood and taken a dump. Made my day.

So, Brodeal,

When the Hummer driver logs onto whatever forum Hummer drivers use and boasts about how he / she took a dump on a mountain bike seat, everyone's even?

After all, he / she probably hates cyclists.

I can't really think of circumstances where vandalising other people's property in such a disgusting way is funny, cool, amusing, impressive.

All that was achieved here is that your sad little personality got a buzz out of it, and the world became ever so slightly angrier and uglier.
 
Feb 25, 2010
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BroDeal said:
I am exaggerating somewhat. There will be more Subarus and Subaru clones than you can shake a stick at. The percentage of big SUVs is surprisingly small. A pseudo-SUV like a Honda Element is more common than a monstrosity like a Chevy Tahoe. I have never seen a Hummer parked at the trail heads I use. Someone would have to be as thick as two short planks to park a giant middle finger to the environment where that H2 was parked. I rolled up on it expecting to see that it had been keyed. You might as well hang a picture of Ted Kennedy at the Republican convention, walk away for a few hours, and think it will remain unmolested.

I don't have any sympathy for Hummers or the posers who drive them. They should be illegal. Their size makes them a needless danger to others on the road.

My, aren't we judgmental?

Who made you the arbiter of all issues re: appropriate auto size? And why do you feel compelled to lob insults at the people who drive cars you don't like?

Funny, but I bet you probably think of yourself as a pretty enlightened, tolerant person. Tolerant of everyone who does what you like, not so much of anyone else.
 
Mar 19, 2009
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I'm far from a Hummer fan ..... but this story is a clear illustration of how ignorant we humans are. Someone is offended by a car choice ? Enough to defecate on the hood ?
Maybe there's a new term to be coined here ...... "Granola Rage" . Any "perceived" slight on part of the non-granola culture brings about the beast in the Granola/Conservationists.

Joking aside. Sadly ...... we all suffer from a divided mind. There is no joy in the misery of all :(
 
lostintime said:
I'm far from a Hummer fan ..... but this story is a clear illustration of how ignorant we humans are. Someone is offended by a car choice ? Enough to defecate on the hood ?
Maybe there's a new term to be coined here ...... "Granola Rage" . Any "perceived" slight on part of the non-granola culture brings about the beast in the Granola/Conservationists.

Joking aside. Sadly ...... we all suffer from a divided mind. There is no joy in the misery of all :(

As a person who is living below sea level, I'm quite amused by this. Riding a wasteful car to compensate for a deficiency in the women-pleasing department hurts others, since millions may die in countries like Bangladesh because of rising sea levels. So a token gesture like this really seems like a measured response. It's not like the poop actually harms the car.

PS. This is what I think of when I see someone driving one of these cars on smooth asphalt:

papoea_peniskoker.jpg


He's not fooling me.
 
Feb 25, 2010
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Aapjes said:
As a person who is living below sea level, I'm quite amused by this. Riding a wasteful car to compensate for a deficiency in the women-pleasing department hurts others, since millions may die in countries like Bangladesh because of rising sea levels. So a token gesture like this really seems like a measured response. It's not like the poop actually harms the car.

PS. This is what I think of when I see someone driving one of these cars on smooth asphalt:

papoea_peniskoker.jpg


He's not fooling me.

Rising sea levels??
 
Aug 16, 2009
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scoot'n said:
Rising sea levels??

Yeah, what a joke..... Humans have no impact on the changing world climate its all just some dirty red plot. If i want to drive around in a huge car that wastes more oil than the Exxon Valdez thats my god darn right and no vegetarian, dreadlocked hippy is going to tell me what I can and carnt do.

And dont even start me on those soft whingers in third world countries. They should shut up and start to earn some money so they can drive a big car like me, all it takes is some god darn effort.
 
Aug 6, 2009
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Ninety5rpm said:
The Hummer is an icon of anti-environmentalism due to nonsense and emotionalism, not reason.

No, I'm not a Hummer fan. But like others have noted, vandalizing the property of others is reprehensible and unjustifiable. Finding humor in that is disgusting.

Environmentalism is all too often fueled by a ridiculous religious furor that makes TV evangelists seem like reasonable people.

I agree that you shouldn't vandalize other people's property and that there are some irrational environmental causes, but opposing SUVs isn't one of them.

Ninety5rpm said:
That's absurd. Hummers are tiny compared to many other vehicles on the road, like buses and semis.
Obviously it is true,that semis and buses are larger than SUVs, but both buses and semis have a useful purpose. So has Hummers of cause, but relatively few SUV owners use it for anything that a conventional car can't do.
Ninety5rpm said:
Getting hit by a Hummer is not much different from getting hit by a Prius.

It's possible that a Prius is also a dangerous car, but SUV's due to the size and inflexible chassis are more dangerous than normal cars, both for pedestrian, people in other cars, and at least when compared to large conventional cars, for the people inside the SUV.
 
Mar 19, 2009
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WonderLance said:
Yeah, what a joke..... Humans have no impact on the changing world climate its all just some dirty red plot.



I agree there ...... the whole deal about Humans causing global warming ..... it's a total scam.

Reducing air pollution is one thing

Save the planet:rolleyes: . It's a Capitalists dream ....and an Environmentalists deluded mission to fight.

What better way to fleece the world than to prompt people to "save the planet" by going green?
 
Mar 18, 2009
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lostintime said:
I agree there ...... the whole deal about Humans causing global warming ..... it's a total scam.

Reducing air pollution is one thing

Save the planet:rolleyes: . It's a Capitalists dream ....and an Environmentalists deluded mission to fight.

What better way to fleece the world than to prompt people to "save the planet" by going green?

Global warming maybe not, but the Hummer's 13 mpg city and highway doesn't do anything for the oil crisis. The fascination with gas-guzzling behemoths rather than supporting the growth and sale of more economical cars or cars with alternative fuel sources was partially responsible for the downfall of GM and co. The environmental irresponsibility of Hummer and its unsuitability for suburban roads was more than partially responsible for their downfall.
 

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