Great lines posted by others

Mar 18, 2009
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Please, no discussion.

Just posts of lines others have said, including any context needed for understanding, that you think are brilliant, witty, hilarious, etc.

I''l start with this line from Bicicleta, since it inspired me to start this thread.

Bicicleta said:
Lance may have won 7 :rolleyes: but Floyd is 007.
 
WonderLance said:
Lance is good for cycling because he doesnt engage in all that nasty stuff that riders from countrys that dont speak english come from as well as Bruce Murdoch. and he donates nols of money to the uci so they will still be able to organise races during the global financial crisis.

But this thread isnt about Lance, although it should be, its about Evens. Evens is a very good rider who tries really hard all the time and is very tallented (not as much as lance) but cant win because eveyone else puts tiny motors in their bikes (not lance) and he couldnt do that because he is too nice a person.

Evens understands that he cant win races so always tries to get second place, this is why he looks so shocked and upset whne he does win.

Did Lemond Dope?
WonderLance said:
Its obvious he did. I saw him do it. Case closed.
WonderLance said:
In answere to you're question I say that he HAS TO FAIL A TEST, just once. The we will have evidence of doping. You can catch Stalone standing at an airport holding 100 doeses of roids but can you say he doped?

No.

You have to test him, they could be for his mum.

Lance has to fail a test, just like Jan and Rasmousenn did.


WonderLance said:
I think Evens has a reel good shot at third but has has to focus as hard *** he can on the wheel in front of him, practically wrap his lips around the hub, dont lose concentration on it for a single second otherwise they will ride away.

He shoudl pick Lances wheel to follow as then he will get second, if he follows Levistrong maybe third. But for evens second is first winner.
WonderLance said:
What would you know about cycling anyway, you only have 40 posts I have lots more.



WonderLance said:
I think you have this all wrong.

You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while I snort the cocaine of excellence and bang the hooker of awesomeness.
WonderLance said:
you guys must be alergic to winning or something. lance armstrong is keeping the sport alive during the global financial crisis, his donations are probably some of the only money the uci is getting.

Not to mention the billions of sponsorship dollars he brings in with he superstar personality. Cycling would be dead without armstrong and his money and you know it.

Grow up and love excellence.
WonderLance said:
One nut makes you better.

WonderLance said:
LA was the leader, he said so. To deny it is to go against a great champion which is a dishonor to cycling.

Albert should have waited. Lance would have and lance knows how to win tours.
Do you hate cancer? I dont think so


WonderLance said:
Rupert Murdoc is mainlining dope to team sky.

The dirty Kazaks cant pay their riders.

Lance is doing it clean and fighting cancer.

I think we can all see who is best for cycling.
WonderLance said:
No..

Berty has a history of dumb moves to go against the ancient traditions of cycling which historians date back to at least 1999. Last year he attacked his team leader, this year he attached while Andrew whats giving his bike a service.

He has a lot to learn. This TDf is tainted. Only Lance will ride out of this tour a hero.
WonderLance said:
Lance finished third in the tour last year, where did you finnish?
WonderLance said:
Lance gained 5 seconds in about 9kms the means that in 3000 kms he will gain about three hours over siesta boy. Its good to see that the special triaing regime of boning celebrities and charity rides it paying off.

All hail Lance winner in France.
WonderLance said:
How do you expect contador to climb with the best unless the has at least three team mates around him? Seriously.
 
Jun 15, 2010
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Michielveedeebee said:
Something wonderlance said about snorting cocaine and banging the hooker of awesomeness :p
Riis only has one expression, that of a slightly puzzled curmudgeon.: I can,t remember who posted it.
 
This one was by Wallace, cannot remember in what topic though......i thought it was so good i put it in my sig.

Wallace said:
In Lance's prime, you could take all the drugs you wanted, whenever you wanted. Ah, those were the days... If you put Contador on the program Lance was on in his prime, it would be like watching a bicycle duct-taped to the space shuttle go up the alps. You have to factor all that in when figuring out which one is the most talented
 
Aug 13, 2009
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Or course all of Wonderlance's posts are works of art. Our resident and recently returned troll, BPC, often wrote

BPC said:
surely we can all agree that........
Followed by something completely ridiculous that nobody would agree with.

TFF has written many examples of fine comic prose.....but they have all been deleted.
 
Anything by Wonderlance - he is a star. See The Hitch's post above for highlights.
At first, I didn't realize he was messing around, because the line between his posts & the fanboys was very blurry.
Not to mention his avatar... one nut.

Edit - how about this one?

"Lance is amazing, did you know that he made the Olsen girls boobs two cup sizes bigger just by looking at them!"
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
I think it was bb said the other day of pat mcquad "if he was any more stupid he would need to be watered twice a day". That got me :D
 
Mar 16, 2009
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I have said it before


WonderLance said:
You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while I snort the cocaine of excellence and bang the hooker of awesomeness.
 
Mar 16, 2009
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I have said it before


WonderLance said:
You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while I snort the cocaine of excellence and bang the hooker of awesomeness.
 
Mar 18, 2009
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TeamSkyFans said:
I think it was bb said the other day of pat mcquad "if he was any more stupid he would need to be watered twice a day". That got me :D
I confess. That was me. And it was twice a week because McQuaid has the brains of a house plant.
 
Merckx index said:
Are statements from people outside the forum who are quoted here eligible?
the nail in the coffin:

“Hey Jeff, como estan los hoteles de quatro estrellas y el classe de business in el aeroplano? Que mas necesitan?”

~Juan Pelota (aka the jackasses mouth)

paranoid sociopathic desperation can be beautiful in the context of impending doom.
 
Aug 19, 2010
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Between these two quotes from WL:
Originally Posted by WonderLance
In answere to you're question I say that he HAS TO FAIL A TEST, just once. The we will have evidence of doping. You can catch Stalone standing at an airport holding 100 doeses of roids but can you say he doped?

No.

You have to test him, they could be for his mum.

Lance has to fail a test, just like Jan and Rasmousenn did.
and
Originally Posted by WonderLance
You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while I snort the cocaine of excellence and bang the hooker of awesomeness.
I realized that he was not your typical fanboy. But he sure made a lot of both haters and fanboys look foolish. His style and wit is peerless. My hat's off to you, WonderLance!
 
flicker said:
Even though I as the only beacon of ARMSTRONG light shines brightly , illuminating rainbow colored waterfalls of gushing Armstrong love, where unicorns dance and gallop and there is no wrong if you crush my man-cave of 7 TdF trophies I will be one sorry mofo.

My unabounding LANCE love is radiated through the endless blue orbs of my cycling man-satyr.

Let me live in my misty morning sunshine where the clean one stands upon the late July podium applauded by all in Gaul-land.
A Fanboy Eulogy on PED's - taken to a surreal and ethereal realm.

Epic.
 
Feb 28, 2010
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Wonderlance quoted by The Hitch (see above):

`Its good to see that the special triaing regime of boning celebrities and charity rides it paying off.'

As someone has already stated not the usual words of a fanboy.
 
Jan 18, 2010
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Another classic from WonderLance- discusssing Ryder Hejedal

"Yes I believe that he has a very good chance especially if garmin continue him on heis special regiem of seal meat, maple syrup and triathelons.:
 
Feb 25, 2010
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You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while I snort the cocaine of excellence and bang the hooker of awesomeness. - Wonderlance

This was the one I was looking for, thx Krebs;)
 
May 10, 2009
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I love Oldnell's posts. So vitriolic and ironic, when he considers people like myself a hater. :D

(1) Because the only people who give any credence to L2L and the rest of the libellous venom spewed out by Walsh, Ballester, Kimmage and the like are the sordid conspiracy theorists and LA haters who make up this forum. Get a life!!

(2) This is forum mostly made up of sad people who hate excellence, probably because they are not willing or able to work hard enough to achieve it themselves
(3)You, as well as most of your libellous conspiracy theorists who dominate this forum, do not know what you are talking about, as usual
(4) I feel sorry for sordid haters like you who do all of their thinking from a much lower part of their anatomy.
(5) Although it is dominated by libellous conspiracy theorists who hate excellence.(6) It may surprise you and the rest of the Armstrong haters on this forum.
(7) People who use a combination of half truths, innuendo, and absolute falsehoods to trash anyone who achieves excellence deserve nothing better. I calls them the way I sees them!!!
(8) In order to do that I would have to reprint nearly everything you and the rest of the LA haters have been printing since I had the misfortune to come upon this forum.
(9) but most of them are like me who have better things to do with their time than waste it arguing with people like you who hate excellence and believe everyone who has achieved it is a cheat. I happened on to this forum and was so disgusted that I felt considerably better having told you what I thought of you.
In fact he's probably my favourite poster.

Another classic was BPC saying that Betsy should have perjured herself to protect Lance.
 

Dr. Maserati

BANNED
Jun 19, 2009
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Totally agree on Wonderlances post - but for me what made it especially witty and brilliant was 'WL' had picked up on a post from TFF just before, so I have posted the 2 of them for our enjoyment.

Thoughtforfood said:
Why do you guys insist on trying to change WonderLance? He is the last true believer. His mind is like a virgin who went into the convent at 18 and locked herself away never to experience anything but pure white simplicity. Here you guys are with your porno Lance information saying, "hey baby, ever do a DP? You'd like a DP...okay...calm down. No, I would never try to get you do do something you didn't want. Here, come on, trust me. I'll buy you some lunch and then maybe we can go do a photo shoot...you can keep your clothes on...hey, you ever try cocaine? No. Its no big deal, its just like drinking coffee or something...come on baby, you can trust me." WonderLance is PURE. His mind is unspoiled by the nastiness of all of this. Just leave him alone.
WonderLance said:
I think you have this all wrong.

You are the one who is blind and connot see the truth in the world. You live sheltered in a monastry of your hate, and cannot admire beauty and truth while I snort the cocaine of excellence and bang the hooker of awesomeness.
 

Dr. Maserati

BANNED
Jun 19, 2009
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Just to add - those posts were taken from a thread that WL had started, beautifully titled 'Still LivingStrong' and this was its juicy opening post.


WonderLance said:
Hey cyclingnews.com forum circle jerkers

Lance is still out there Living strong and doing good work for cycling like establishing what will certianly be the next Tdf in America. And raising millions to cure cancer.

Im still here, and the thousands others like me are still here supporting the next generation of clean cyclists such as Levi, horner and Evens.

So my question is what have your years of typing and conspiracy theories really achieved? the guy is still the best tdf ( only race that matters) rider that has ever lived, something that will never be taken away.

Couldnt your energy be best spent on baking a cake, learning advanced PowerPoint or even riding your bike?

Peace Out.

Lance.
Brilliant.
 
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