Just as well he has good legs, because his brains are..

[Armchair Cyclist]

Because it was proposed, and I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding contributions:

Not sure about the dumb stuff fans say, what about the some of the garbage the riders trot out...

The original post referred to what the riders "trot out before races", but I'm sure they do so at all sorts of times.

 

[Red Rick]

Pogacar. Good thing he has legs cause if he were the same level as other riders he wouldn't win ***.

 

[Avoriaz]

“my rivals should be sh!tting themselves“

 

[Red Rick]

"Tactically, we were perfect"

 

[Krzysztof_O]

Pogacar. Good thing he has legs cause if he were the same level as other riders he wouldn't win ***.

Teddy is a tactical genius. He's the first guy who discovered that all tactical problems can be solved by simply pushing more watts.

 

[Ricco']

“I am really convinced that I will fight for the podium on Sunday in Liège. My [podium] - one, two, three? I see myself standing there with Tadej and Mathieu. But we will see in what order that is on Sunday.”

 

[Red Rick]

“I am really convinced that I will fight for the podium on Sunday in Liège. My [podium] - one, two, three? I see myself standing there with Tadej and Mathieu. But we will see in what order that is on Sunday.”

Skjelmose?

 

[Peyroteo94]

"Tactically, we were perfect"

Uphill sprinter?

 

[Tim Cahill]

Big 6 most to least stupid;

1. VDP - Belts teenage girls and spits at fans, never saw a gap he couldn't squeeze through, or a rider he couldn't endanger.
2. Van Aert - What plagues him most is not war and poverty but all this woke nonsense.
3. Pogacar - Simple boy easily manipulated by malign influences. All legs no tactics.
4. Evenepoel - Still doesn't understand why people wouldn't ride after many years in cycling, quite articulate in interviews sometimes.
5. Roglic - Pretty good cycling tactics sometimes, 2020 aside, a bit vague in interviews.
6. Vingegaard - Not stupid, priorities straight, an adult, just absolutely no charisma. Not sure that comment about not taking anything he wouldn't give his infant daughter was a wise move though, might come back to haunt him down the line.

Outside of the big 6 -

Geraint Thomas - The lights are on but nobody is home, no brains no craic. Didn't know who Bruno Armirail was when he was wearing the pink jersey at the time, can't string a sentence together without Luke Rowe or the other guy to finish it for him. The thickest guy in the current peloton, even if you include nutjobs like Moscon and Tiberi.

Lance - Somehow knows absolutely nothing about the sport in which he won the biggest race 7 times. He was just an empty vehicle of malevolence through which Ferarri practiced his perverted science, if he wasn't a cyclist he'd either be picking pennies up from the side of the road or serving a life sentence for a crime he definitely did commit.

Sagan - Magical cyclist who loves the odd sexual assault, the charisma of Cantona with the brains of John Coffey from Green Mile.

Top 3 smartest cyclists -

1. Carapaz - somehow convinced breakaway riders on 3 separate occasions in the space of about a week that he wasn't a Grand Tour winner and got them to pull for him, won a gold and a GT by attacking at the right time, the biggest sh*thouse in the peloton.

2. Froome - not only stole 7 grand tours but managed to keep the grift going and swindled the Israeli's for 20 million. Good man Froomey. His wife has me blocked on twitter though so she can *** off.

3. Fuglsang - Just seen he's bagged himself a 1 year extension, wtf lol.

I don't want to criticise Skjelmose for talking mess even if it was delusional, keep talking your smack Mattias.

 

[Armchair Cyclist]

I guess Chris Horner's insistence on being interviewed in Spanish, so that he could prove how bad he is at the language, qualifies him for this thread.

 

[Zoetemelk-fan]

Teddy is a tactical genius. He's the first guy who discovered that all tactical problems can be solved by simply pushing more watts.

Well helped by the fact that we're out of the Sky drilling era, and that he, well, just seems to have two levels of watts above everyone else

 

[tobydawq]

Pogacar. Good thing he has legs cause if he were the same level as other riders he wouldn't win ***.

?

 

[Ilmaestro99]

I don't understand why we need another wout van aert thread when there's one already

 

[AnotherArmChair]

I guess Chris Horner's insistence on being interviewed in Spanish, so that he could prove how bad he is at the language, qualifies him for this thread.

Yeah and he si pretty bad at English too

 

[E_F_]

Yeah and he si pretty bad at English too

Si señor

 

[ciranda]

I don't want to criticise Skjelmose for talking mess even if it was delusional, keep talking your smack Mattias.

dude was second in fleche wallonne and second/third strongest in liege last year so had paid his dues and reason to be confident

 

[Libertine Seguros]

"I saw something yellow on the floor".

No interpretation of this paints Lorena as anything but a blithering fool. Bumping into something when your team leader wearing yellow is right next to you, seeing something yellow on the floor and somehow being so monumentally stupid as to not put two and two together would make her completely stupid; on the other hand, if she knew what she had done, then saying that to the press and expecting them to believe it is monumentally dumb too.

 

[Oldermanish]

Big 6 most to least stupid;



Lance - Somehow knows absolutely nothing about the sport in which he won the biggest race 7 times. He was just an empty vehicle of malevolence through which Ferarri practiced his perverted science, if he wasn't a cyclist he'd either be picking pennies up from the side of the road or serving a life sentence for a crime he definitely did commit.

To be fair and also to take a little heat off of Ferrari's influence: he was a Tri-athlete first. In Texas.

 

[Moose McKnuckles]

TBH, I'm not seeing a whole lot of brains among the anglophone racers: Lance, Wiggins, Thomas, Pidcock, Landis, etc., etc.

Hicapie is an exception. Dude won a MTF at the Tour, FFS. That's crazy. Married a podium girl. Basically escaped unscathed from the Postal fiasco once Lance went down.
Hicapie and Froome need to start a podcast called "Secure the bag" because both have shown exceptional acumen in that department.

 

[Zoetemelk-fan]

TBH, I'm not seeing a whole lot of brains among the anglophone racers: Lance, Wiggins, Thomas, Pidcock, Landis, etc., etc.

Hicapie is an exception. Dude won a MTF at the Tour, FFS. That's crazy. Married a podium girl. Basically escaped unscathed from the Postal fiasco once Lance went down.
Hicapie and Froome need to start a podcast called "Secure the bag" because both have shown exceptional acumen in that department.

Mentioning Big George as "the most thoughtful" made me chuckle - Must've been some kind of "tough" competition he is up against
But you're right, he managed to get away with some side dishes....he who laughs last.

 

[Moose McKnuckles]

I seem to remember a line in Hamilton's book about how soigneurs would carry Hincapie up stairs because he didn't want to waste energy climbing them. Dude finessed his way through pro cycling.