- Jul 25, 2012
- 12,967
- 1,966
- 25,680
Here it is, the most anticipated race of the year...
So, anyway... Stage 1:
this year the race begins in Glasgow, Glaschu in Scottish Gaelic, which roughly translates as "dear green place". It's the greenest city in Europe and has been very green this year, and brown and grey too because it hasn't stopped raining. But, it looks like we might have ordered our yearly day of sun (this isn't continental sun, this is weak Scottish sun to ensure the local population don't go up in flames...) to send the riders on their way with happier memories than the last time some of them raced on our fair streets and suffered more punctures than a drunk man fighting a family of porcupines.
They will complete a parade lap around the city taking them up the steep incline of Montrose street (twice!), that many will remember fondly, for absolutely no reason whatsoever because it's within the neutralised section. After this they will follow a familiar route (because they rode it a few minutes earlier...) down into Glasgow Green (did I mention Glasgow has lots of green places? It's in the name and everything). This time they continue along the side of the Clyde and turn left on Jamaica Street (opened and named in 1763 when the Rum and Sugar trade with Jamaica was starting to flourish. I wonder how that happened..? If you need a hint this article might help very obvious connection between Britain and the West Indies) just before Broomielaw and cross the Clyde. Travelling south out of the city along the A77 (there were discussions about using the partially built cycle lanes on Viccy Road but this idea was dropped when someone pointed out the road furniture and that Cavendish was on the start list) they will head through a plethora of wonderfully named areas including Strathbungo, Pollokshaws and Crossmyloof. Out towards Giffnock will, for them, be a joy as the closed roads mean they won't have to deal with the usual commuters trying to squash you into a bikelane next to a load of parked cars which, as chance would have it, is exactly the same width as the doors that regularly get opened into it.
A right turn at Eastwood Toll and they're heading past the bottom of Rouken Glen park (famous for its mighty cauldron where the worlds greatest cyclocross race is held...) and then left towards Stewarton. The road out to Stewarton is where many local freds will predict the action will start. It has some small bumps that have the portly wheezing, so the pros will no doubt take it approximately 97mph while eating the deep fried pizza (yes, we really do) they were handed by the cheering children they have encountered along the route.
At Stewarton a choice had to be made, do we go through Kilmarnock or Moscow? Because the UCI have to approve the route, Kilmarnock was chosen to avoid a lot of confusing emails and this gives me the excuse to point out that Kilmarnock Academy is one of only two State Schools in the world that have educated two Nobel Prize Laureates. Who you ask? No, not Barack Obama, don't believe every poorly spelling thing you read late at night on Twitter. Alexander Fleming, the man responsible for Penicillin and John Boyd Orr, the man whose name was given to the ugliest building on the Glasgow University campus. Kilmarnock is not known as the gateway to the Alps, it's not even known as the gateway to the Ayrshire Alps, but that's what it acts as here. So it's out through Glaston and down past Mossgiel and Mauchline, famous for their connections to Rabbie Burns , and on towards one of the hilliest regions in Ayrshire...
The mighty Alps of Ayshire stand literally metres tall and would make lesser men tremble with fear. Unfortunately, lesser men designed the route and these hellish hillocks are avoided as much as possible, without going near the coast because that might be a bit windy.
Once the bumps are out of the way it's a mad dash through Dumfries and Galloway. I could take the time to describe the Dark Sky park in Galloway forest, the Southern Upland Way, Kenmure Castle and the clans who inhabited this area and provided it with so much rich history, but frankly I'd be surprised if anyone is still reading this, my lunch hour is almost over and my haggis, neeps and tatties ain't going to eat themselves; so I'll just point out the weather around here is usually rubbish.
There is a small bump before the finish that might tempt the break of the day or prompt some attacks from riders desperate to reach the world famous artist town of Kirkcudbright first. The Glasgow Boys (no, not the young teams out smashing windows) were based in Kirkcudbright for over 30 years and T. E. Lawrence, Yes, Lawrence of Arabia no less!, spent two years here as an infant.
How will it end? tune in and find out, I'm sure it's going to be thrilling.
I assume no-one has any use for the route map or profile now, but just in case here they are:
So, anyway... Stage 1:
this year the race begins in Glasgow, Glaschu in Scottish Gaelic, which roughly translates as "dear green place". It's the greenest city in Europe and has been very green this year, and brown and grey too because it hasn't stopped raining. But, it looks like we might have ordered our yearly day of sun (this isn't continental sun, this is weak Scottish sun to ensure the local population don't go up in flames...) to send the riders on their way with happier memories than the last time some of them raced on our fair streets and suffered more punctures than a drunk man fighting a family of porcupines.
They will complete a parade lap around the city taking them up the steep incline of Montrose street (twice!), that many will remember fondly, for absolutely no reason whatsoever because it's within the neutralised section. After this they will follow a familiar route (because they rode it a few minutes earlier...) down into Glasgow Green (did I mention Glasgow has lots of green places? It's in the name and everything). This time they continue along the side of the Clyde and turn left on Jamaica Street (opened and named in 1763 when the Rum and Sugar trade with Jamaica was starting to flourish. I wonder how that happened..? If you need a hint this article might help very obvious connection between Britain and the West Indies) just before Broomielaw and cross the Clyde. Travelling south out of the city along the A77 (there were discussions about using the partially built cycle lanes on Viccy Road but this idea was dropped when someone pointed out the road furniture and that Cavendish was on the start list) they will head through a plethora of wonderfully named areas including Strathbungo, Pollokshaws and Crossmyloof. Out towards Giffnock will, for them, be a joy as the closed roads mean they won't have to deal with the usual commuters trying to squash you into a bikelane next to a load of parked cars which, as chance would have it, is exactly the same width as the doors that regularly get opened into it.
A right turn at Eastwood Toll and they're heading past the bottom of Rouken Glen park (famous for its mighty cauldron where the worlds greatest cyclocross race is held...) and then left towards Stewarton. The road out to Stewarton is where many local freds will predict the action will start. It has some small bumps that have the portly wheezing, so the pros will no doubt take it approximately 97mph while eating the deep fried pizza (yes, we really do) they were handed by the cheering children they have encountered along the route.
At Stewarton a choice had to be made, do we go through Kilmarnock or Moscow? Because the UCI have to approve the route, Kilmarnock was chosen to avoid a lot of confusing emails and this gives me the excuse to point out that Kilmarnock Academy is one of only two State Schools in the world that have educated two Nobel Prize Laureates. Who you ask? No, not Barack Obama, don't believe every poorly spelling thing you read late at night on Twitter. Alexander Fleming, the man responsible for Penicillin and John Boyd Orr, the man whose name was given to the ugliest building on the Glasgow University campus. Kilmarnock is not known as the gateway to the Alps, it's not even known as the gateway to the Ayrshire Alps, but that's what it acts as here. So it's out through Glaston and down past Mossgiel and Mauchline, famous for their connections to Rabbie Burns , and on towards one of the hilliest regions in Ayrshire...
The mighty Alps of Ayshire stand literally metres tall and would make lesser men tremble with fear. Unfortunately, lesser men designed the route and these hellish hillocks are avoided as much as possible, without going near the coast because that might be a bit windy.
Once the bumps are out of the way it's a mad dash through Dumfries and Galloway. I could take the time to describe the Dark Sky park in Galloway forest, the Southern Upland Way, Kenmure Castle and the clans who inhabited this area and provided it with so much rich history, but frankly I'd be surprised if anyone is still reading this, my lunch hour is almost over and my haggis, neeps and tatties ain't going to eat themselves; so I'll just point out the weather around here is usually rubbish.
There is a small bump before the finish that might tempt the break of the day or prompt some attacks from riders desperate to reach the world famous artist town of Kirkcudbright first. The Glasgow Boys (no, not the young teams out smashing windows) were based in Kirkcudbright for over 30 years and T. E. Lawrence, Yes, Lawrence of Arabia no less!, spent two years here as an infant.
How will it end? tune in and find out, I'm sure it's going to be thrilling.
I assume no-one has any use for the route map or profile now, but just in case here they are:
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