So the Tour is almost at an end. This means we have to rate it, as per CN forums traditions. There's other options I had in mind, but the CN forums only allow me 10, so I try to make the best of what I have.
Other options I'd have included would be
- 9
- 10
- I stopped caring when Contador crashed out
- I stopped caring when Quintana turned out to be in bad shape
- Thank god it's an even year, and there were Euro's and there will be Olympics in a few weeks
- Vino
Slightly longer summary would be: Cav won sprints, Sagan was a boss in intermediary stages, crashes determined GC, Froome still won, breakaways won GC stages, except for Bardet and Froome, who showed cojones on descents, Dumoulin was the best tt'er, the Dutch hyped, and the Dutch crashed
Here's a little summary of what happened
Stage 1 - Flat, windy, nervous. Contador continues his love affair with French roads in an attempt to make the most spectecular crash of the Tour. Somehow the stage is largely neutralised for the rest of the Tour, giving a clear sign of things to come. Cavendish finds a good moment to beat Kittel in a sprint for the first time, taking yellow in the process
Stage 2 - Slightly less flat, slightly less windy, slightly less nervous. Still Contador manages to crash in a strange love triangle involving French roads and a Tony Martin who is not paying attention. Stuyven looks on his way to a stage win. Meanwhile, Porte has bad luck losing almost 2 minutes, and Kreuziger rides on while Contador gets dropped, both being more signs of things to come in the Tour. Sagan dominates the uphill sprint, to take his first yellow jersey.
Stage 3 - Flat stage, usualy breakaway, kept on a leash by the peloton, yada yada yada. This time, no significant crashes. Greipel starts sprinting too early, Cavendish goes around him and pips on the finish line.
Stage 4 - Another flat stage, with a slightly uphill finish. Etixx manages to not screw up the leadout. Kittel narrowly beats the upcoming Coquard by the smallest of margins to win his first stage in 2 years.
Stage 5 - The first stage in the medium mountains. Everyone agrees this is a good stage where you could potentially try something, and everyone agrees that they won't. Large breakaway gets the blessing of the peloton, and is allowed to win the stage. Breakaway is split up before the climbing even starts, and where everyone expects De Gendt to drag GVA to yellow, it's the latter one who takes off and wins the stage for himself. Contador looks to not lose time unless Bardet attacks on the penultimate climb. Kreuziger continues doing what he was doing by not waiting, as does Majka a few more seconds up the road.
Stage 6 - Another worthless flat stage. Breakaway is reeled in and we get another sprint, with Cav beating Kittel once more. Meanwhile, people start to notice the whole peloton is still complete
Stage 7 - First mountain stage of the Tour de France, with a long wind up before tackling the Aspin. There's a large breakaway containing the yellow jersey, the Giro winner, and Steve Cummings. They are allowed to fight for stage honours by the peloton. Cummings does what Cummings does best, attacking before the Aspin, while Nibali is fails to make an impression behind him. GVA extends his lead, Yates attacks from the peloton on the descent to try and take white, only to get attacked himself by the red kite. Tour de France organisers agree it's time to start neutralizing stuff, giving Yates a few seconds, and the white jersey. Pinot fails horribly, and loses minutes.
Stage 8 - Big mountain stage in the Pyrenees. No attacks of significance to the GC, whilst Pinot and Majka fight it out on the first climbs of the day for the KoM jersey. Meanwhile, the first abandon comes after Morkov crests the Tourmalet some 23 minutes behind and decides to call it a day. SkyTrain makes its appearance, controlling all the way until 2km under the top of the Peyresourde, where Henao and Froome take off. A group of about 12 riders crest the top together, most notably not containing Contador, who keeps bleeding time. Froome surprises everyone on the descent, and causes some hilarity on the forum for his pedalling style. Everyone agrees it's ok to just let Froome win the Tour de France, with only Valverde pulling in the back. This once again, is a clear sign of things to come.
Stage 9 - First mountain top finish, finishing on the great Arcalis. However, this time it is preceded by some hard climbing. After a break has formed on the first climb of the day Contador takes off after it, only to be dropped by it soon after. Valverde is in the same breakaway, and lets himself drop on the flat, because Sky is giving chase. Contador has broken up with French roads and gives his best shot at the medical car and his own team car. Eventually, he decides to get into his team car. Sky lets the breakaway go, and everyone agrees to do what Sky want. In the breakaway, Dumoulin does his best Cummings impression, and goes on to win the stage while the weather takes a slight turn for the worse. Behind that, there's plenty of attacking on the Arcalis but small gaps. Froome tries a few times, but doesn't get away. To the surprise of many Mollema attacks, only to get dropped. Dan Martin attacks a few times as well, as does Richie Porte. One who doesn't attack, is Nairo Quintana, though finishes in the same time as Froome.
Stage 10 - Porte d'Envalira, the highest climb of the Tour, is followed by endless flat and some rolling terrain, and only a cat 3 at a few km's from the line saves the Souvenir Henri Desgrange stage from being won by Kittel or Cavendish. Over the climb, a large breakaway gets away with all the star power of anybody who is not a pure sprinter or in GC contention. Sagan wrecks the group on a false flat, isolating himself against Matthews who's got 2 teammates with him. A few attacks happen by Impey, closed down by Sagan, and the rest of the group agrees that Matthews should win the stage. That happens, while Sagan has to contend himself with the intermediate points and his valuable points for 2nd place for the green jersey.
Stage 11 - Chaotic echelon stage. The peloton is split far from the finish line, but because nobody important is dropped, it gets back. The peloton stays nervous, until Sagan attacks together with Bodnar some 12k from the finish line. Froome causes some outrage on the forums by closing the gap on his own with Thomas doing his best not to get dropped. As the chase is disorganised, once again partially by everyone agreeing Froome can win the Tour, they ride together to the finish, with Froome preventing Bodnar from getting a stage win by contesting the sprint. Sagan easily beats Froome and all but locks up the green jersey competition.
Stage 12 - A bunch of flat, rolling roads, with a lot of wind, followed by the Mont Ventoux. Scrap that, Mont Ventoux had too much Ventoux, instead they finish at Chalet Reynard. The bunch gets split once again, but the only one who gets dropped is Barguil, who makes his team chace to protect his 19th or so place in GC. Stannard and Rowe crash, and Froome makes the peloton stop. The peloton does so, because everyone has agreed to do what makes Froome win the Tour, including waiting for flat road domestiques, whilst simultaneously waiting for the climbing domestiques that will drop them up the climb to Chalet Reynard. This also causes the breakaway to contest the stage win, with De Gendt beating Pauwels and Navarro in the sprint uphill. Nobody cares soon after this however, because 21km of people cram up on 15km of road, and chaos ensues. A few people attack, get reeled in by what look like 12 of Froome domestiques, until the Yellow Jersey takes of himself. Quintana gives his reasons for not attacking by giving a textbook example of how to get dropped. Porte is able to follow however, and hilarity ensues when it turns out that Bauke Mollema is putting back the G in TGBM by crossing the gap. Together they ride to the finish, at least that's the plan, until Porte crashes into a moto, who crashed into a spectator, causing pile up. Mollema lands on top and is the first to be on his way. Porte patiently waits for his bike, whilst Froome tries to break the internet by running up the mountain, losing almost 2 minutes in the end, and it looks like Yates may have taken the yellow jersey. However, the Tour de France has also agreed that Froome should win the Tour de France, as time gaps get neutralized and Froome gets to keep yellow.
Stage 13 - Hilly ITT. Froome already has the lead by some time and people start to wish for Contador to be there. Meanhwile, Tom Dumoulin crushes everyone in the TT. Froome puts in a great TT performance, finishing more than a minute in front of all his GC competitors, bar Mollema, and it starts looking like a pretty damn good GT for the Dutch.
Stage 14 -The last opportunity for the sprinters, before the last dash to the line in Paris. Kittel goes from way to far out, only to cry at Cav, when the latter passes him on his way to his 30th Tour stage.
Stage 15 - Prior to the Tour, the most anticipated stage. Up and down all day. But everyone has agreed Froome should win the Tour, so nothing GC related happens, as the breakaway gets to go and fight for the stage win, without a fight from the peloton. Nibali and Dumoulin blow up spectacularly on the Grand Colombier, whilst behind Astana starts making pace. Then on the last climb of the day, to Lacets du Grand Colombier, Aru, Valverde and Bardet all try a little bit to get away, only to be reeled in by Poels, who meanwhile manages to enjoy the landscape. Van Garderen collapses on the final climb, to the surprise of nobody, mostly because he really shouldn't be leading the Tour for one of the richest teams in cycling. Pantano wins, by descending better than Majka and by sprinting better than Majka, who is back in the KoM jersey.
Stage 16 - We go to Suisse, for a flat stage, with a classic type final. All for Cancellara no doubt, who doesn't come close to winning. The breakaway consists of Alaphillipe and Martin, and I have still no idea why they did that. They get reeled in no problem, and in the sprint of a slightly depleted peloton, Sagan narrowly beats Kristoff by a better bike throw.
Stage 17 - A whole bunch of benign climbing before a tough finale. Naturally nothing happens, and the break gets to fight for stage honors. Zakarin wins from the break, whilst Poels reels in any attack without a single problem. Of the other contenders, Porte is the strongest, and ends up finishing with Froome in his wheel. All the others are dropped, but none lose a whole lot of time. Except for Van Garderen, to the suprise of none. Loses somewhere between minutes and hours and is out of GC contention. Mollema is still in 2nd and it still looks like a great Tour for the Dutch.
Stage 18 - Uphill TT. To the surprise of nobody, Tom Dumoulin sets the early mark with a decent time. He himself isn't satisfied, but as GC contenders fail to ride faster than Dumoulin hope sets in. As hope often does, it gets shattered as Froome paces himself better, and probably is better, and wins the uphill tt with a reasonable gap. Except for Froome, gaps are small, with few changes to the overall.
Stage 19 - climbing from the start, and the usualy suspects contend the breakaway. Meanwhile, Astana goes on the offensive with about 6 riders on the first climb of the day, but that is all brought back. Astana controlls the rest of the day, and it looks like they may have a grand plan. Over time, in turns out that they done. The really tough Bisanne doesn't do anything, except for shattering the Olympic dream of Dutchman Tom Dumoulin, who breaks his wrist in a crash. Then we approach the descent as it starts to rain. Riders crash all over the place, including Mollema, Froome and Rolland. Froome gets back to the peloton in time, whilst Mollema doesn't. Meanwhile, Bardet has attacked with a teammate and starts the final climb a minute before the peloton, going on to win the stage and get up to 2nd overall. Attacks galore in the last 5km, but nobody really gets away until Purito pulls a last Purito in the Tour, creating a few small gaps whilst Froome gets dropped in the sprint to the line, losing a massive 15 seconds. Mollema blows up on the final climb, whilst the amount of alcohol related accidents in the Netherlands suddenly rise.
Stage 20 - Joux-plane stage, the epic finish of an epic Tour. Unfortunately, in the real world a break goes up the road, with Kreuziger who would sneakily get his top 10, and fights it out for the stage win. Mollema drops on the Ramaz, heroicly comes back and attacks on the Joux-plane, only to get dropped and lose his placing. Alaphillipe and Pantana attack on the descent of the Ramaz, getting more than a minute at the foot of the Joux-Plane. Nibali seems to find his legs as he reels them in and rides past them, only to realise he really cares more about the Olympics and not taking any risk on the descents as Izaguirre takes off on the descent. Purito attacks on the Joux-plane, most notably making one of the only attacks that stick to go from 11th to 7th on GC, perhaps the most exciting thing to happen in GC this Tour, while everyone is satisfied doing nothing and having their placing decided by tt's and crashes only.
State 21 - Mandatory celebratory stage, nobody cares, we're really only watching to see the awards ceremony, and because we need to watch cycling on TV, jersey winners celebrate, as some people attack, get reeled in, and some sprinter wins, while we actually don't really care and anxiously wait for other races to watch.
Other options I'd have included would be
- 9
- 10
- I stopped caring when Contador crashed out
- I stopped caring when Quintana turned out to be in bad shape
- Thank god it's an even year, and there were Euro's and there will be Olympics in a few weeks
- Vino
Slightly longer summary would be: Cav won sprints, Sagan was a boss in intermediary stages, crashes determined GC, Froome still won, breakaways won GC stages, except for Bardet and Froome, who showed cojones on descents, Dumoulin was the best tt'er, the Dutch hyped, and the Dutch crashed
Here's a little summary of what happened
Stage 1 - Flat, windy, nervous. Contador continues his love affair with French roads in an attempt to make the most spectecular crash of the Tour. Somehow the stage is largely neutralised for the rest of the Tour, giving a clear sign of things to come. Cavendish finds a good moment to beat Kittel in a sprint for the first time, taking yellow in the process
Stage 2 - Slightly less flat, slightly less windy, slightly less nervous. Still Contador manages to crash in a strange love triangle involving French roads and a Tony Martin who is not paying attention. Stuyven looks on his way to a stage win. Meanwhile, Porte has bad luck losing almost 2 minutes, and Kreuziger rides on while Contador gets dropped, both being more signs of things to come in the Tour. Sagan dominates the uphill sprint, to take his first yellow jersey.
Stage 3 - Flat stage, usualy breakaway, kept on a leash by the peloton, yada yada yada. This time, no significant crashes. Greipel starts sprinting too early, Cavendish goes around him and pips on the finish line.
Stage 4 - Another flat stage, with a slightly uphill finish. Etixx manages to not screw up the leadout. Kittel narrowly beats the upcoming Coquard by the smallest of margins to win his first stage in 2 years.
Stage 5 - The first stage in the medium mountains. Everyone agrees this is a good stage where you could potentially try something, and everyone agrees that they won't. Large breakaway gets the blessing of the peloton, and is allowed to win the stage. Breakaway is split up before the climbing even starts, and where everyone expects De Gendt to drag GVA to yellow, it's the latter one who takes off and wins the stage for himself. Contador looks to not lose time unless Bardet attacks on the penultimate climb. Kreuziger continues doing what he was doing by not waiting, as does Majka a few more seconds up the road.
Stage 6 - Another worthless flat stage. Breakaway is reeled in and we get another sprint, with Cav beating Kittel once more. Meanwhile, people start to notice the whole peloton is still complete
Stage 7 - First mountain stage of the Tour de France, with a long wind up before tackling the Aspin. There's a large breakaway containing the yellow jersey, the Giro winner, and Steve Cummings. They are allowed to fight for stage honours by the peloton. Cummings does what Cummings does best, attacking before the Aspin, while Nibali is fails to make an impression behind him. GVA extends his lead, Yates attacks from the peloton on the descent to try and take white, only to get attacked himself by the red kite. Tour de France organisers agree it's time to start neutralizing stuff, giving Yates a few seconds, and the white jersey. Pinot fails horribly, and loses minutes.
Stage 8 - Big mountain stage in the Pyrenees. No attacks of significance to the GC, whilst Pinot and Majka fight it out on the first climbs of the day for the KoM jersey. Meanwhile, the first abandon comes after Morkov crests the Tourmalet some 23 minutes behind and decides to call it a day. SkyTrain makes its appearance, controlling all the way until 2km under the top of the Peyresourde, where Henao and Froome take off. A group of about 12 riders crest the top together, most notably not containing Contador, who keeps bleeding time. Froome surprises everyone on the descent, and causes some hilarity on the forum for his pedalling style. Everyone agrees it's ok to just let Froome win the Tour de France, with only Valverde pulling in the back. This once again, is a clear sign of things to come.
Stage 9 - First mountain top finish, finishing on the great Arcalis. However, this time it is preceded by some hard climbing. After a break has formed on the first climb of the day Contador takes off after it, only to be dropped by it soon after. Valverde is in the same breakaway, and lets himself drop on the flat, because Sky is giving chase. Contador has broken up with French roads and gives his best shot at the medical car and his own team car. Eventually, he decides to get into his team car. Sky lets the breakaway go, and everyone agrees to do what Sky want. In the breakaway, Dumoulin does his best Cummings impression, and goes on to win the stage while the weather takes a slight turn for the worse. Behind that, there's plenty of attacking on the Arcalis but small gaps. Froome tries a few times, but doesn't get away. To the surprise of many Mollema attacks, only to get dropped. Dan Martin attacks a few times as well, as does Richie Porte. One who doesn't attack, is Nairo Quintana, though finishes in the same time as Froome.
Stage 10 - Porte d'Envalira, the highest climb of the Tour, is followed by endless flat and some rolling terrain, and only a cat 3 at a few km's from the line saves the Souvenir Henri Desgrange stage from being won by Kittel or Cavendish. Over the climb, a large breakaway gets away with all the star power of anybody who is not a pure sprinter or in GC contention. Sagan wrecks the group on a false flat, isolating himself against Matthews who's got 2 teammates with him. A few attacks happen by Impey, closed down by Sagan, and the rest of the group agrees that Matthews should win the stage. That happens, while Sagan has to contend himself with the intermediate points and his valuable points for 2nd place for the green jersey.
Stage 11 - Chaotic echelon stage. The peloton is split far from the finish line, but because nobody important is dropped, it gets back. The peloton stays nervous, until Sagan attacks together with Bodnar some 12k from the finish line. Froome causes some outrage on the forums by closing the gap on his own with Thomas doing his best not to get dropped. As the chase is disorganised, once again partially by everyone agreeing Froome can win the Tour, they ride together to the finish, with Froome preventing Bodnar from getting a stage win by contesting the sprint. Sagan easily beats Froome and all but locks up the green jersey competition.
Stage 12 - A bunch of flat, rolling roads, with a lot of wind, followed by the Mont Ventoux. Scrap that, Mont Ventoux had too much Ventoux, instead they finish at Chalet Reynard. The bunch gets split once again, but the only one who gets dropped is Barguil, who makes his team chace to protect his 19th or so place in GC. Stannard and Rowe crash, and Froome makes the peloton stop. The peloton does so, because everyone has agreed to do what makes Froome win the Tour, including waiting for flat road domestiques, whilst simultaneously waiting for the climbing domestiques that will drop them up the climb to Chalet Reynard. This also causes the breakaway to contest the stage win, with De Gendt beating Pauwels and Navarro in the sprint uphill. Nobody cares soon after this however, because 21km of people cram up on 15km of road, and chaos ensues. A few people attack, get reeled in by what look like 12 of Froome domestiques, until the Yellow Jersey takes of himself. Quintana gives his reasons for not attacking by giving a textbook example of how to get dropped. Porte is able to follow however, and hilarity ensues when it turns out that Bauke Mollema is putting back the G in TGBM by crossing the gap. Together they ride to the finish, at least that's the plan, until Porte crashes into a moto, who crashed into a spectator, causing pile up. Mollema lands on top and is the first to be on his way. Porte patiently waits for his bike, whilst Froome tries to break the internet by running up the mountain, losing almost 2 minutes in the end, and it looks like Yates may have taken the yellow jersey. However, the Tour de France has also agreed that Froome should win the Tour de France, as time gaps get neutralized and Froome gets to keep yellow.
Stage 13 - Hilly ITT. Froome already has the lead by some time and people start to wish for Contador to be there. Meanhwile, Tom Dumoulin crushes everyone in the TT. Froome puts in a great TT performance, finishing more than a minute in front of all his GC competitors, bar Mollema, and it starts looking like a pretty damn good GT for the Dutch.
Stage 14 -The last opportunity for the sprinters, before the last dash to the line in Paris. Kittel goes from way to far out, only to cry at Cav, when the latter passes him on his way to his 30th Tour stage.
Stage 15 - Prior to the Tour, the most anticipated stage. Up and down all day. But everyone has agreed Froome should win the Tour, so nothing GC related happens, as the breakaway gets to go and fight for the stage win, without a fight from the peloton. Nibali and Dumoulin blow up spectacularly on the Grand Colombier, whilst behind Astana starts making pace. Then on the last climb of the day, to Lacets du Grand Colombier, Aru, Valverde and Bardet all try a little bit to get away, only to be reeled in by Poels, who meanwhile manages to enjoy the landscape. Van Garderen collapses on the final climb, to the surprise of nobody, mostly because he really shouldn't be leading the Tour for one of the richest teams in cycling. Pantano wins, by descending better than Majka and by sprinting better than Majka, who is back in the KoM jersey.
Stage 16 - We go to Suisse, for a flat stage, with a classic type final. All for Cancellara no doubt, who doesn't come close to winning. The breakaway consists of Alaphillipe and Martin, and I have still no idea why they did that. They get reeled in no problem, and in the sprint of a slightly depleted peloton, Sagan narrowly beats Kristoff by a better bike throw.
Stage 17 - A whole bunch of benign climbing before a tough finale. Naturally nothing happens, and the break gets to fight for stage honors. Zakarin wins from the break, whilst Poels reels in any attack without a single problem. Of the other contenders, Porte is the strongest, and ends up finishing with Froome in his wheel. All the others are dropped, but none lose a whole lot of time. Except for Van Garderen, to the suprise of none. Loses somewhere between minutes and hours and is out of GC contention. Mollema is still in 2nd and it still looks like a great Tour for the Dutch.
Stage 18 - Uphill TT. To the surprise of nobody, Tom Dumoulin sets the early mark with a decent time. He himself isn't satisfied, but as GC contenders fail to ride faster than Dumoulin hope sets in. As hope often does, it gets shattered as Froome paces himself better, and probably is better, and wins the uphill tt with a reasonable gap. Except for Froome, gaps are small, with few changes to the overall.
Stage 19 - climbing from the start, and the usualy suspects contend the breakaway. Meanwhile, Astana goes on the offensive with about 6 riders on the first climb of the day, but that is all brought back. Astana controlls the rest of the day, and it looks like they may have a grand plan. Over time, in turns out that they done. The really tough Bisanne doesn't do anything, except for shattering the Olympic dream of Dutchman Tom Dumoulin, who breaks his wrist in a crash. Then we approach the descent as it starts to rain. Riders crash all over the place, including Mollema, Froome and Rolland. Froome gets back to the peloton in time, whilst Mollema doesn't. Meanwhile, Bardet has attacked with a teammate and starts the final climb a minute before the peloton, going on to win the stage and get up to 2nd overall. Attacks galore in the last 5km, but nobody really gets away until Purito pulls a last Purito in the Tour, creating a few small gaps whilst Froome gets dropped in the sprint to the line, losing a massive 15 seconds. Mollema blows up on the final climb, whilst the amount of alcohol related accidents in the Netherlands suddenly rise.
Stage 20 - Joux-plane stage, the epic finish of an epic Tour. Unfortunately, in the real world a break goes up the road, with Kreuziger who would sneakily get his top 10, and fights it out for the stage win. Mollema drops on the Ramaz, heroicly comes back and attacks on the Joux-plane, only to get dropped and lose his placing. Alaphillipe and Pantana attack on the descent of the Ramaz, getting more than a minute at the foot of the Joux-Plane. Nibali seems to find his legs as he reels them in and rides past them, only to realise he really cares more about the Olympics and not taking any risk on the descents as Izaguirre takes off on the descent. Purito attacks on the Joux-plane, most notably making one of the only attacks that stick to go from 11th to 7th on GC, perhaps the most exciting thing to happen in GC this Tour, while everyone is satisfied doing nothing and having their placing decided by tt's and crashes only.
State 21 - Mandatory celebratory stage, nobody cares, we're really only watching to see the awards ceremony, and because we need to watch cycling on TV, jersey winners celebrate, as some people attack, get reeled in, and some sprinter wins, while we actually don't really care and anxiously wait for other races to watch.