The original article as it appeared...
Top 10 doping excuses
by Jane Aubrey
Feature date:
February 22, 05:05
From sick puppies to missing twins
It was said to be a questionable piece of Spanish filet mignon that left a bitter aftertaste for Alberto Contador after he returned a positive test to the banned fat metabolizer clenbuterol at the 2010 Tour de France. Spanish beef producers were livid about the contamination theory but it was enough for Contador to receive a not-guilty verdict on appeal.
This wasn't the first time a surreal excuse had been offered in response to a positive drug test. Cyclingnews takes a look at the top 10.
1. Opium cakes - Alexi Grewal, 1992
The 1984 US Olympic road race gold medallist said he tested positive for opiates after gorging on poppyseed muffins before the prologue at the Tour of West Virginia. While opiates have no performance-enhancing qualities, they are banned to prevent their use in helping athletes compete while injured.
"I obviously won't be eating poppy-seed muffins in the near future," Grewal said.
The U.S. Professional Racing Organisation issued a three-month suspended sentence and a $500 fine. Grewal later admitted to doping several more times during his career.
2. My sick doggy - Frank Vandenbroucke, 2002
When Belgian state highway patrol intercepted Bernard Sainz or 'Doctor Mabuse' for travelling in excess of the speed limit and found a large cache of amphetamines and syringes in his car, Sainz said he was leaving Frank Vandenbroucke's home. Police then searched the cyclist's residence, where they found EPO, morphine and clenbuterol. Vandenbroucke claimed the EPO was for his anemic dog.
On 21 March, 2002 Vandenbroucke was handed a six month ban and a 10,000 Swiss francs fine by the Belgian federation. He died in 2009 aged 34 from a pulmonary embolism in Segegal.
3. Twin's blood - Tyler Hamilton, 2004
Tyler Hamilton tested positive for a homologous blood transfusion at the Vuelta a España on September 11, 2004. Hamilton also returned an A sample positive on August 25, 2004, after winning the Olympic time trial, but was not sanctioned for that as his B sample was effectively destroyed by the Athens lab that did the testing, and no result could be determined from the sample.
Hamilton's Vuelta samples showed signs of a mixed red blood cell (RBC) population. The American's defence rested on claims that he had a 'vanishing twin', that transferred some of its RBCs to Hamilton while he was in the womb, but disappeared in the first trimester of pregnancy; or that he is a human chimera, with a natural mixed RBC population.
Hamilton was banned until September 22, 2006 and then returned to racing before failing an out of competition drug test for an anti-depressant. He announced his retirement soon after.
4. Drinking is manly - Floyd Landis, 2006
Floyd Landis had a bad day on July 19, 2006. While riding the Tour's 16th stage from Bourg d'Oisans to La Toussuire he lost the yellow jersey and lost eight minutes. He then went back to his hotel and downed two draft beers and "at least four shots" of Jack Daniel's whiskey.
The ratio of testosterone to epitestosterone in his urine sample taken the next day when Landis made a miraculous recovery was said to be 11:1, above the acceptable threshold of 4:1. Some studies showed that alcohol can raise testosterone levels up to 200 per cent.
Landis lost his case and subsequent appeals before eventually admitting his drug use in May 2010.
5. They're my mother-in-law's - Raimondas Rumšas, 2002
The day that the Lithuanian finished third in the 2002 Tour de France, French customs officials discovered EPO, testosterone, growth hormone and anabolic and cortico steroids in his wife, Edita Rumsiene's car.
When questioned about the drugs, Rumšas claimed that "I have not had a chance to speak with my wife. But the products were intended to be taken to Lithuania for my mother-in-law, Yakstenia".
Rumšas was later banned for testing positive to EPO at the 2003 Giro d'Italia and together with his wife, received a four month suspended sentence for importing prohibited drugs into France.
6. Throes of passion - Björn Leukemans, 2007
At first when the Belgian returned a positive test for testosterone in an out-of-competition control, he claimed to have naturally high levels of the hormone before moving to the explanation that he was having sex when the testers arrived to take his urine.
The hole in Leukemans' argument was not testosterone levels could be elevated during a good romp but that there was no explanation for the levels of synthetic testosterone which gave him levels of 5:7:1.
"I am nevertheless innocent!" Leukemans said on his personal website. "These values are natural," he told Sporza. "It is not possible that I am positive.”
He was suspended before returning to the sport in 2009.
7. Candy - Gilberto Simoni, 2002
First there was the explanation from the dentist: "The patient Gilberto Simoni today underwent urgent orthodontic [sic] treatment with the local anaesthetic containing Carbocaine two percent with adrenaline." Problem was that his urine test showed trace amounts of cocaine and its metabolites benzoilecgonine and metalicgonine.
Next the cocaine must have been in some tea prepared for him but his aunt, Giacinta Moser. When that didn't stand up, eventual blame was pointed at imported Peruvian candies that were given to him by Moser, which he took to fight off a throat infection.
8. Pigeon pie - Adrie van der Poel, 1983
Your father-in-law races pigeons and they need performance enhancers along the way. It's a Sunday evening and van der Poel looks hungry so father-in-law makes him some pigeon pie from said pigeons. A positive test for Strychnine ensued.
9. Java high - Gianni Bugno, 1992
Two-time world champion was suspended for two years in 1994 following a positive test for caffeine in Italy after a minor race. Bugno denied he had taken drugs and that instead the positive test came down to the cup of coffee he enjoyed before the race.
Caffeine is considered to be performance enhancing above prescribed levels and the Italian returned a sample 30 times above the limit. We'd say, Bugno had drunk several coffees...
10. Haemorrhoids - Jesús Rosendo, 2010
A blood test taken on April 20, 2009, which showed haemoglobin and haematocrit levels were very low, suggesting anaemia as a result of bleeding that the rider had suffered on April 8, 2009, due to a severe case of haemorrhoids. Ouch.
He was eventually given a two year ban in 2010.
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