Top Schleck excuses for bad performances

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1. Course was too short.
2. Course was too long.
3. Course was too flat.
4. Race did not occur in July.
5. Menstrual cramps.
6. Cancellara wasn't there.
7. Problem remembering how to shift Di2.
8. Race radios were accidentally playing Copacabana.
9. Johan kept calling out directions to Lance.
10. People kept attacking on descents.
 
Yes!!! Another Andy-bashing thread!!! Gonna be good!

Airstream to appear in 3-2-1.

How about

11. Stuart made me drink a second beer, so I was hung over
12. **Insert name here** attacked when I didn't expect, so it wasn't fair
 
*Contador keeps dropping me anytime he wants
*Specialized was "the real deal"
*My drinking partner Stuey is gone
*CN posters hurt my feelings
 
hfer07 said:
*CN posters hurt my feelings

I like that one 😀


*I'm sick with the flu
*I have a stomach bug

Anything sick related seems to be the most common for me.
 
13. Cricket & Golf stop when it rains. The same should apply to cycling.
 
Cadel wouldn't work with me so that I could attack him before the time trial

#5 should be moved to the top of the list

Add:
- Jens! forgot to read me a bedtime story
- Fabian didn't scare away the boogey monster
- Our scarves didn't match
 
- Didn't have the legs
- Didn't have any hairy legs
- Course was too wet
- I'm too wet
 
I can't get access to my favorite donuts. -Alberto Contador
 
Moose McKnuckles said:
1. Course was too short.
2. Course was too long.
3. Course was too flat.
4. Race did not occur in July.
5. Menstrual cramps.
6. Cancellara wasn't there.
7. Problem remembering how to shift Di2.
8. Race radios were accidentally playing Copacabana.
9. Johan kept calling out directions to Lance.
10. People kept attacking on descents.

El Oso said:
Cadel wouldn't work with me so that I could attack him before the time trial

#5 should be moved to the top of the list

Add:
- Jens! forgot to read me a bedtime story
- Fabian didn't scare away the boogey monster
- Our scarves didn't match

This thread is seriously cracking me up.

- My chain fell off when I was shifting and like no one waited. I mean, WTF?

- Anger-fueled tummy cramps. 😡

- It looked like rain.

- I could have won but that podium doesn't look too safe - I mean, do they really need to be that high? Is that what people want to see?

😀😀 ««----- soulmates
 
14. I had to train either on my bike or in the pub. Thats a hard choice right there!
 
Fetisoff said:
Airstream to appear in 3-2-1.
No, I will argue about Andy no longer with the people who initially busily biased in a negative way. Welcome, go ahead, bash, disrespect one's work, assert yourself through degrading if it enriches your inner world so much.
 
Surely the depreciation thread is enough? Can't this just be kept in there?
 
"I can't ride any faster while looking backwards!"

"I wanted to attack, but there was someone in my slipstream"
 
"I swallowed a bee... no wait... that was Frank"

"Frank can't keep up and I am not allowed to ride without him"
 
"I really wanted to try. But against sickness you cannot do a lot. I need to let my body recover from this. This is bad news, I wanted to perform well in Paris-Nice, but I better not jeopardize the rest of the season. My goals are situated later in the season."
 
airstream said:
No, I will argue about Andy no longer with the people who initially busily biased in a negative way. Welcome, go ahead, bash, disrespect one's work, assert yourself through degrading if it enriches your inner world so much.

What work?
 
Moose McKnuckles said:
1. Course was too short.
2. Course was too long.
3. Course was too flat.
4. Race did not occur in July.
5. Menstrual cramps.
6. Cancellara wasn't there.
7. Problem remembering how to shift Di2.
8. Race radios were accidentally playing Copacabana.
9. Johan kept calling out directions to Lance.
10. People kept attacking on descents.

You left out solar flares, changes to the earth's magnetic field, the change of seasons, not enough neutralised stages without descents, he does not ride well in leap years, lack of synergy between bike and rider and chronic fatigue of the neck muscles.
 
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