“What, Mr. McQuaid, we had that nice cappuccino together, I introduced him to my beautiful mistress and we toured my friends’ Tuscan winery. What more do you need?” Paperwork has no place in sport! What about lunch and sexy women and shopping for stylish clothing in Milan? What happened to handshakes and honor and who are all these lawyers that keep calling incessantly? It’s an affront to my dignity.
No man does triplicate. First, the Americans come in with their killjoy business approach to winning races. Then that damned Dane Bjarne Riis says those time honored training methods are stone age. Now team Sky comes in with their food scientists claiming that paninis aren’t good race snacks and that buckets of pasta aren’t the best way to recover. Next, they’ll want to replace the podium girls with effeminent men in tight slacks.
Only the noisy Kazaks seem to understand the rituals of the sport. What do they care about paperwork? They want to drink and sing and glory in victory and hand out bribes and pound their cycling shoes on the table. Okay, they’re uncouth but at least they’re not progressive.
The UCI has given the Lampre-Farnese Vini a two month “get-your-crap-together” temp license. Like, what, they only race on Fridays and Wednesdays, from 10 to 2:30? Alessandro Petacchi as a temp?
How many words a minute does Cunego type? — can he work a cash register?
Danilo di Luca banned, Rebellin gone, where are the heroes?
And all the UCI cares about is paperwork. In my days, men were men and lawyers just dealt with keeping the cost of the mistress hidden. Now, all is lost for Lampre.