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Cycling Etiquette
- Thread starter baltyk_gdynia
- Start date
Makes me think of this facebook group 
********************* -THE OFFICIAL EURO CYCLIST CODE OF CONDUCT- ********************
Created by Dom Guiver and Mike Flavell
1. Image and style shall be the primary concerns of the Euro Cyclist. When suffering, one must focus first on maintaining a cool, even composure and second on performance. Winning races is an added talent, and only counts if said Euro Cyclist wins with appropriate style.
2. Training shall be based solely on feel, while racing shall be guided by sensations and instinct: that is to say, ?soul.? The Euro Cyclist will never accept tried or tested scientific training methods.
3. The Euro Cyclist shall NEVER, under any circumstances, wear plain black spandex bibs (shorts, regardless of colour are BANNED) or ANY team kit
containing non-prominent logos. Shorts will extend approximately 2/3rds of the way down the upper leg and will contain a compression band at the bottom (distinct in colour). In NO CONDITION shall they extend any further!
4. Legs shall be SHAVED year-round. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. Certain hair removal creams are endorsed only on a case-by-case basis. One shall never show up to a race (be it large or small) with ANY amount of stubble visible on one?s legs.
5. A prominent line where one?s kit ends and where one?s deep tan begins is essential to one's image. Artificial tanning is BANNED. The tan shall reflect the level of training commitment.
6. The socks of the Euro Cyclist shall extend to within two (2) cm. of the main bulge of the calf muscle, and shall never extend further than one (1) cm. past said primary calf muscle bulge. All socks SHALL BE WHITE in colour with prominent logo placement.
7. Cycling shoes shall contain at least 80% white!
The following exceptions apply:
i) Colour combinations such as world cup stripes or Olympic gold for which the title has been EARNED.
ii) Shoes which are custom-made for specific riders by companies endorsed by this group. These shoes shall be accessible to the particular cyclist only, and shall follow the preceding rules.
8. If white cycling shoes are not available where the Euro Cyclist resides, white booties (or ?shoe covers?) with prominent logos shall ALWAYS be worn. When booties are worn, socks shall protrude approximately seven (7) cm. above the ankle, and shall always protrude at a minimum one (1) cm. from any booties worn.
9. One?s bike frame shall contain between two (2) and four (4) colours IN ADDITION TO WHITE. All colours are acceptable as long as they combine tastefully and elegantly. In addition, wheel selection must also match frame and fork.
10. One shall race only on Campagnolo Boras or Lightweights. Fulcrum Racing One, Corima Aero+ or Zipp (404 or 202) wheelsets are considered stylish enough to be used as training wheels ONLY. Irregardless, ceramic bearings shall be used at ALL TIMES on both training and race bikes.
11. ALL wheels shall be equipped with tubulars, regardless of one?s ability in gluing them.
12. Ridiculously stylish eyewear (see endorsed products list) is to be worn AT ALL TIMES without exception. Glasses are to be worn over helmet straps at all times.
13. Hair shall be kept neatly short, and matching helmet shall be worn (again with prominent logo placement). The helmet shall be predominantly white. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES shall a clashing helmet colour be worn with one?s euro kit. Helmets are not to be worn when venturing indoors AT ANY TIME. It is, however, acceptable to wear one?s helmet while outdoors on a patio (see rule 34).
14. In certain RARE cases, it shall be deemed acceptable to have long hair. In this event, hair shall be neatly slicked back in a severely euro style, and helmet SHALL NOT be worn. It is IMPERATIVE that rule 12 is followed in these special instances.
15. When riding, sans helmet (with short hair), a team issue cycling cap (white in colour), shall be worn. The bill shall remain in the downward position at all times. The cycling cap may be worn forwards or backwards to coincide with the specifics of one?s current hairstyle. During spring training, cycling toques shall be worn at all times in place of caps.
16. Kits must always be freshly washed, and one shall ALWAYS have applied a subtle quantity of eau de toilette (or ?cologne?). It is, AT ALL TIMES FORBIDDEN to ride in an unwashed kit. This is severely detrimental to one?s image.
17. Saddles shall be white in colour ONLY and shall be manufactured in Italy or France. Exceptions may be made in the following cases:
i) Saddles containing World Cup Stripes or Olympic Gold when it is EARNED
ii) Italian flag colour combo when rider is ITALIAN (born in Italy)
18. Handlebar tape is required to be cork as well as WHITE IN COLOUR. Bar tape shall be kept in pristine white condition. This state shall be achieved either through daily cleansing or through frequent replacement. These jobs must NEVER be performed by the cyclist as one must maintain one?s image.
19. All stems must be a minimum of 120mm long and of a rise no higher than -10 degrees. Stems shall be positioned no more than 0.5cm above the top of the headtube. ALL stems shall ALWAYS be oversized, made out of ALUMINUM, and airbrushed in kit/frame colours. In certain cases (Mario Cipollini) it is advised that one airbrush a buxom young woman onto the top of one?s stem.
20. The Euro Cyclist shall ALWAYS have liniment applied to his legs before appearing in public.
21. Facial hair shall be restricted to (at a maximum) a goatee, and even this is discouraged. Moustaches, beards, and any combination thereof are EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED in all instances. Stubble is, however, advisable in virtually ALL euro-situations. It is important to note that this DOES NOT apply to the legs.
22. Campagnolo shall be THE ONLY acceptable component and it is hereby deemed superior to ANY Shimano product in ALL circumstances and situations. The Euro Cyclist is expected to have nothing less than an ENTIRE campy grouppo. Crank substitutions are NOT permitted. There is, however, a case by case exception for SRAM Red.
23. One shall NEVER, under any circumstances, acknowledge the presence of a cyclist riding a bike costing less than 2000? in ANY public place. This may be severely detrimental to one?s image. If such a situation cannot be helped, it is CRITICAL that the Euro Cyclist regard his ?acquaintance? with a patrician mixture of disdain and SEVERE condescension.
24. One shall NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, associate with triathletes. This cannot be overemphasized! It is FORBIDDEN to have any number inked onto one?s body before a race.
25. Any physical activity other than cycling is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. This includes any form of running or swimming and their derivatives (this includes walking). The ONLY TWO other sports with a recognized degree of euro are: cross-country skiing and long track speed skating.
26. Mountain bike gloves are FORBIDDEN in all instances. Cycling gloves shall be slick, white (in accordance with kit), and have minimal padding. Padding will be beige or white in colour. Wearing NO GLOVES is entirely acceptable and encouraged. In the case of a Euro Cyclist wearing a leader?s jersey special gloves shall be made to match the colour of the jersey while simultaneously blending the colours of the team kit.
27. In a circumstance where any cyclist (or TRIATHLETE) ever displays aggression or disrespect towards a Euro Cyclist, he is required to ride up uncomfortably close to his foe and slap them in the face with his team issue gloves.
28. In the event a motorist disturbs one?s ride: one shall proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the boot of the car while doing one?s best to sound irritated in Italian. Wild arm and head movements (?Gesticulation?) are strongly encouraged to enhance the apparent rage.
29. One shall NEVER rearrange one?s package while riding. Adjustments regarding seating/hanging comfort are to be done in private in order to preserve image.
30. ABSOLUTELY NO FORM of seatbag, frame pump, mud guard or mirror shall come within two (2) metres of one?s bike.
31. Gearing shall be restricted to a titanium Campy Record 11-23 cassette with a ABSOLUTE MINIMUM of 42-53 up front. One must never be seen pedaling at a cadence greater than 90 rpm in order not to detract from one?s calm/smooth factor, or ?Suplesse.? The use of 25-toothed cog is acceptable for severely mountainous training situations.
32. ALL BIKES shall feature personalized nameplates next to one?s home country?s flag, located on the top-tube within ten (10) cm. of the seat-tube ON THE DRIVE SIDE ONLY.
33. Pedals MUST be either Look or Time. No other pedals are to be considered. As always, ANY form of Shimano product is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
34. Coffee is a NECESSITY and as such it must be consumed STRONG (e.g. espresso) on a patio in Italy in full kit; it shall be drunk BLACK. Sugar is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. The only milk present shall appear frothed on top (if at all). The euro cyclist shall, if possible, develop a fondness for the triple ristretto.
35. All podium shots (?pictures?) shall be taken while wearing one?s team kit and appropriately matching casual euro shoes (such as Pumas). Socks shall remain within the guidelines above. One is expected to display an appropriate degree of bulge while receiving kisses/trophies. The bulge may vary according to the outlandishness/impracticality of the victory prize (e.g. livestock and/or enormous cheese wheels).
********************* -THE OFFICIAL EURO CYCLIST CODE OF CONDUCT- ********************
Created by Dom Guiver and Mike Flavell
1. Image and style shall be the primary concerns of the Euro Cyclist. When suffering, one must focus first on maintaining a cool, even composure and second on performance. Winning races is an added talent, and only counts if said Euro Cyclist wins with appropriate style.
2. Training shall be based solely on feel, while racing shall be guided by sensations and instinct: that is to say, ?soul.? The Euro Cyclist will never accept tried or tested scientific training methods.
3. The Euro Cyclist shall NEVER, under any circumstances, wear plain black spandex bibs (shorts, regardless of colour are BANNED) or ANY team kit
containing non-prominent logos. Shorts will extend approximately 2/3rds of the way down the upper leg and will contain a compression band at the bottom (distinct in colour). In NO CONDITION shall they extend any further!
4. Legs shall be SHAVED year-round. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. Certain hair removal creams are endorsed only on a case-by-case basis. One shall never show up to a race (be it large or small) with ANY amount of stubble visible on one?s legs.
5. A prominent line where one?s kit ends and where one?s deep tan begins is essential to one's image. Artificial tanning is BANNED. The tan shall reflect the level of training commitment.
6. The socks of the Euro Cyclist shall extend to within two (2) cm. of the main bulge of the calf muscle, and shall never extend further than one (1) cm. past said primary calf muscle bulge. All socks SHALL BE WHITE in colour with prominent logo placement.
7. Cycling shoes shall contain at least 80% white!
The following exceptions apply:
i) Colour combinations such as world cup stripes or Olympic gold for which the title has been EARNED.
ii) Shoes which are custom-made for specific riders by companies endorsed by this group. These shoes shall be accessible to the particular cyclist only, and shall follow the preceding rules.
8. If white cycling shoes are not available where the Euro Cyclist resides, white booties (or ?shoe covers?) with prominent logos shall ALWAYS be worn. When booties are worn, socks shall protrude approximately seven (7) cm. above the ankle, and shall always protrude at a minimum one (1) cm. from any booties worn.
9. One?s bike frame shall contain between two (2) and four (4) colours IN ADDITION TO WHITE. All colours are acceptable as long as they combine tastefully and elegantly. In addition, wheel selection must also match frame and fork.
10. One shall race only on Campagnolo Boras or Lightweights. Fulcrum Racing One, Corima Aero+ or Zipp (404 or 202) wheelsets are considered stylish enough to be used as training wheels ONLY. Irregardless, ceramic bearings shall be used at ALL TIMES on both training and race bikes.
11. ALL wheels shall be equipped with tubulars, regardless of one?s ability in gluing them.
12. Ridiculously stylish eyewear (see endorsed products list) is to be worn AT ALL TIMES without exception. Glasses are to be worn over helmet straps at all times.
13. Hair shall be kept neatly short, and matching helmet shall be worn (again with prominent logo placement). The helmet shall be predominantly white. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES shall a clashing helmet colour be worn with one?s euro kit. Helmets are not to be worn when venturing indoors AT ANY TIME. It is, however, acceptable to wear one?s helmet while outdoors on a patio (see rule 34).
14. In certain RARE cases, it shall be deemed acceptable to have long hair. In this event, hair shall be neatly slicked back in a severely euro style, and helmet SHALL NOT be worn. It is IMPERATIVE that rule 12 is followed in these special instances.
15. When riding, sans helmet (with short hair), a team issue cycling cap (white in colour), shall be worn. The bill shall remain in the downward position at all times. The cycling cap may be worn forwards or backwards to coincide with the specifics of one?s current hairstyle. During spring training, cycling toques shall be worn at all times in place of caps.
16. Kits must always be freshly washed, and one shall ALWAYS have applied a subtle quantity of eau de toilette (or ?cologne?). It is, AT ALL TIMES FORBIDDEN to ride in an unwashed kit. This is severely detrimental to one?s image.
17. Saddles shall be white in colour ONLY and shall be manufactured in Italy or France. Exceptions may be made in the following cases:
i) Saddles containing World Cup Stripes or Olympic Gold when it is EARNED
ii) Italian flag colour combo when rider is ITALIAN (born in Italy)
18. Handlebar tape is required to be cork as well as WHITE IN COLOUR. Bar tape shall be kept in pristine white condition. This state shall be achieved either through daily cleansing or through frequent replacement. These jobs must NEVER be performed by the cyclist as one must maintain one?s image.
19. All stems must be a minimum of 120mm long and of a rise no higher than -10 degrees. Stems shall be positioned no more than 0.5cm above the top of the headtube. ALL stems shall ALWAYS be oversized, made out of ALUMINUM, and airbrushed in kit/frame colours. In certain cases (Mario Cipollini) it is advised that one airbrush a buxom young woman onto the top of one?s stem.
20. The Euro Cyclist shall ALWAYS have liniment applied to his legs before appearing in public.
21. Facial hair shall be restricted to (at a maximum) a goatee, and even this is discouraged. Moustaches, beards, and any combination thereof are EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED in all instances. Stubble is, however, advisable in virtually ALL euro-situations. It is important to note that this DOES NOT apply to the legs.
22. Campagnolo shall be THE ONLY acceptable component and it is hereby deemed superior to ANY Shimano product in ALL circumstances and situations. The Euro Cyclist is expected to have nothing less than an ENTIRE campy grouppo. Crank substitutions are NOT permitted. There is, however, a case by case exception for SRAM Red.
23. One shall NEVER, under any circumstances, acknowledge the presence of a cyclist riding a bike costing less than 2000? in ANY public place. This may be severely detrimental to one?s image. If such a situation cannot be helped, it is CRITICAL that the Euro Cyclist regard his ?acquaintance? with a patrician mixture of disdain and SEVERE condescension.
24. One shall NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, associate with triathletes. This cannot be overemphasized! It is FORBIDDEN to have any number inked onto one?s body before a race.
25. Any physical activity other than cycling is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. This includes any form of running or swimming and their derivatives (this includes walking). The ONLY TWO other sports with a recognized degree of euro are: cross-country skiing and long track speed skating.
26. Mountain bike gloves are FORBIDDEN in all instances. Cycling gloves shall be slick, white (in accordance with kit), and have minimal padding. Padding will be beige or white in colour. Wearing NO GLOVES is entirely acceptable and encouraged. In the case of a Euro Cyclist wearing a leader?s jersey special gloves shall be made to match the colour of the jersey while simultaneously blending the colours of the team kit.
27. In a circumstance where any cyclist (or TRIATHLETE) ever displays aggression or disrespect towards a Euro Cyclist, he is required to ride up uncomfortably close to his foe and slap them in the face with his team issue gloves.
28. In the event a motorist disturbs one?s ride: one shall proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the boot of the car while doing one?s best to sound irritated in Italian. Wild arm and head movements (?Gesticulation?) are strongly encouraged to enhance the apparent rage.
29. One shall NEVER rearrange one?s package while riding. Adjustments regarding seating/hanging comfort are to be done in private in order to preserve image.
30. ABSOLUTELY NO FORM of seatbag, frame pump, mud guard or mirror shall come within two (2) metres of one?s bike.
31. Gearing shall be restricted to a titanium Campy Record 11-23 cassette with a ABSOLUTE MINIMUM of 42-53 up front. One must never be seen pedaling at a cadence greater than 90 rpm in order not to detract from one?s calm/smooth factor, or ?Suplesse.? The use of 25-toothed cog is acceptable for severely mountainous training situations.
32. ALL BIKES shall feature personalized nameplates next to one?s home country?s flag, located on the top-tube within ten (10) cm. of the seat-tube ON THE DRIVE SIDE ONLY.
33. Pedals MUST be either Look or Time. No other pedals are to be considered. As always, ANY form of Shimano product is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
34. Coffee is a NECESSITY and as such it must be consumed STRONG (e.g. espresso) on a patio in Italy in full kit; it shall be drunk BLACK. Sugar is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. The only milk present shall appear frothed on top (if at all). The euro cyclist shall, if possible, develop a fondness for the triple ristretto.
35. All podium shots (?pictures?) shall be taken while wearing one?s team kit and appropriately matching casual euro shoes (such as Pumas). Socks shall remain within the guidelines above. One is expected to display an appropriate degree of bulge while receiving kisses/trophies. The bulge may vary according to the outlandishness/impracticality of the victory prize (e.g. livestock and/or enormous cheese wheels).
Euro
Nice list Merckx, hadn't seen it before. I lived in Sicilia for a couple of years and still visit regularly. Most of the locals I know and ride with there certainly support these 35 simple rules to live by, thanks for posting.
Nice list Merckx, hadn't seen it before. I lived in Sicilia for a couple of years and still visit regularly. Most of the locals I know and ride with there certainly support these 35 simple rules to live by, thanks for posting.
Hehe, maybe not as humorous to our European friends, but for those of us who live in North America it is relevant. (What with all the posers riding around
36. One will always ensure that the post-ride/race cool down is done in the most public of places to ensure that one receives the most attention from the public.
late,
Coz
late,
Coz
Lev Tolstoj once said about a contemporary's book: "(So-and-so) is trying to scare us, but we're not afraid."
Merckx (a more than presumptious pseudonym, I'd say) is trying to regale us, but we're not laughing. At least I'm not. As my wife invariably says about my jokes: "I can't laugh at something like that." No offence, but - try again. Or better yet, don't try again.
Merckx (a more than presumptious pseudonym, I'd say) is trying to regale us, but we're not laughing. At least I'm not. As my wife invariably says about my jokes: "I can't laugh at something like that." No offence, but - try again. Or better yet, don't try again.
I fail to see how my using the name is presumptuous Perhaps, I highly respect the rider? I would ask you to elaborate on your feelings, but that would clearly be an invitation to troll
Perhaps, I highly respect the rider? I would ask you to elaborate on your feelings, but that would clearly be an invitation to troll
Merckx said:I fail to see how my using the name is presumptuous
I would of used it but you already had it!
The Victory Salute
To add to the Euro rules...
The Victory Salute:
http://www.cyclingtipsblog.com/2009/02/how-to-victory-salute-like-a-pro/
There's a thousand more that were missed!
To add to the Euro rules...
The Victory Salute:
http://www.cyclingtipsblog.com/2009/02/how-to-victory-salute-like-a-pro/
There's a thousand more that were missed!
Wow what a bunch of rules to go by when mounting a bike.
I am Euro, and no one ever informed me! Given the fact that I am in violation of quite a number of the rules (most notable biking in a team kit, and riding without kneewarmers under 65F) I can assure you that it does not come innately.
I am Euro, and no one ever informed me! Given the fact that I am in violation of quite a number of the rules (most notable biking in a team kit, and riding without kneewarmers under 65F) I can assure you that it does not come innately.
Rules of the road
Etiquette, pronounced EHT uh keht.
Cycling Etiquette is a whispered code of behavior that helps our community pedal in rotund, harmony together. It is not just an arbitrary set of rigid rules, concerning such subjects as the proper dress for racing, the correct wheels or where to pin your race number: bike protocol deals with a much wider range of behavior. These customs have been introduced to combat the reality that some cyclists are childish, self-important, egotistical arses. Each country has its own system of manners. Behavior considered appropriate in one club run may be considered improper elsewhere. It’s not what’s correct: Cycling Etiquette is simply proper consideration for the other cyclists, who accompany you on the spin.
We are very individual, and you and I are a tad selfish and poor communicators. We are indeed a bit feckin odd; it is why we didn’t go in for team sports in maturity. Odd and loners, in the animal world we are the panda (sitting on a ‘flite’ saddle for 5 hours at a time, squashing the penile tract will induce the same fertility rates). This ‘squad of one’ mindset can introduce an attitude of selfishness and arrogance. A disregard for other abilities and isolated persona. Instead these cyclists who appear at the Sunday morning spin with evil intent on mislaying the children and infirm on the first rise, proclaiming their self worth; in turn offer excuses, when they are under pressure. These weak oppressors blame the bike, the tyres, the road surface, the wind, and the tyres again, never the body. We cyclists have the personal strength not to be sheep. Never run with the herd. The intellectual power to decide, no I don’t want to kick ball or chase one for 18 holes. I want to do something extremely hard and with few rewards. So we are: Say it with me ‘ODD’. This in no way excuses these bad manners or means we have to be a numpty.
This winter, 9 miles into a December club spin, I felt a bead of sweat caress my brow, in artic conditions. Unusual, I thought , then turned around to see the bunch of 30 cyclists split demographically in ones and twos into the horizon. Their separation was distance based on age and borrowed bike. Not 20 minutes ago this weary string was a united group of cyclists. I looked forward to see the catalyst of the destruction: two wannabes and for the next ten miles I wished gangrene of the groin on both of them.
As strong individuals, in a detached sport, the only situation we gather as a brightly dressed tribe, is this club run. At a race: its dog eats dog, in a training chain gang: last man standing, but a club spin where different capabilities congregate in human-required friendship and where cycling manners must come into play. Regardless of where I have cycled on the planet, where two or more people are gathered in the name of communal training, cave man instincts prevail and one of the group wishes to prove dominance. I define a NUMPTY, as a person(s) who wishes to demonstrate to a lesser, younger, heavier cyclist that they are fitter, stronger. The alpha male in Lycra. A childlike cry for attention normally belongs in the jungle or playground, is where one cyclist imposes his or her dictation of speed to the group. The result is anger, resentment, split bunch and a weak club. No bonds or friendships cemented, just souls and dreams stepped on. It seems there is no direct protocol issued, and that the training run should evolve, weekly according to their rank or position or watt output of the strongest. Yes, we train to be strong. But the simple truth is that the ‘club run’ is not the proving ground. Racing is. If you want to prove how good you are, strap a number on, shave the legs and get your photo in the paper. Half wheeling a 69-year-old multiple by-pass veteran won’t win you any medals; or friends.
The name club run is the key. This chance for cyclists, of all abilities in the area come together to enjoy a mutual hobby. The young receiving experience form the old. The old passing on war stories of riding to races with punctures; racing and riding home with no tyres. Ancient, compulsory punishment pre 1971 for not winning. The weekly training spins are ‘the’ club. United by name and jersey under one banner. An alliance with associates, then divided by the assassin. Who sees a victory in an eleven year old new comer stopped, at the side of the road, red faced and tears dripping on fresh bar tape: wondering why he ever took up the sport.
It is even poor training for the bully. The longest training cycle available each week should be allocated to the long level two spins. This preparation ride is required regularly to build or maintain the efficiency of the cardio system. To learn to breath proficiently when the body is under moderate pressure and to educate our system to metabolize energy from the fat store, As this process takes longer than grabbing energy from recently eaten food from the small intestine or stored in the liver as glycogen: a steady long, continual effort, is proven best. Best for everyone. An opportunity for all to enjoy the long, base spin together. Take pleasure in our sport, don’t fill it with resentment. If the club spin wreakers want harder training, all level three work should be done in small groups of similar ability. Upper level three and level four intensity training is only efficient with you and the pulse monitor. On climbs if they want a work out; stick it in the 12 sprocket. Same speed as the group with a bit of power preparation. A urine test for these few would reveal insecurity and self-importance. Show me a club run wreaker that ever actually won a race.
Club Protocol
It ‘s down in writing, it has been voted on and every one will pass the following recommendations as they don’t see them selves as guilty.
i- a club run captain shall be appointed, experienced, ex-racer slightly overweight. His whistle will control speed and direction.
ii- Route will be planned in advance, allowing latecomers to plan a catch up, with the length increasing with the temperature. A cut off point will be designated for shorter run.
iii- Speed will be maintained until this cut off is reached.
iv- if a member of the run punctures, the group will cycle for a mile, turn and return for the victim. If it’s in the last 20 km, the captain will ensure he has spares, only then: - forsaken.
v- half wheeling is outlawed. (Same speed but where the bars do not line up.) The cyclist enforcing pressure is to be taken away to an isolated wood and shot.
vi- helmets and brakes working and fitted to the correct bit.
vii- change on the right, up and over after 2km. keeps conversation fresh, bonds club and ears unbent.
viii- new, underage riders must have a relative or allocated ‘sponsor’ to keep them safe and informed.
Good decorum when meeting a friend in the street is shaking hands. When introduced, look the person in the eyes and use a firm grip to express sincerity. On the bike this changes to a "How's it going?" and then a compliment on weight loss, form or new component. Simple Courtesy. Try to think of others. If you want to race: get a license and use it. There will be a load of guys and girls who will relish your showing off in the early laps, the club run is a time of companionship and group camaraderie.
As prehistoric people began to interact with one another, they learned to behave in ways that made life easier and more pleasant. Don’t make training spins full of shouts of “steady” and “knock it off”. Only laughter and chat and skipping gears should be heard on a Sunday morning. It’s proper bike conduct. Be odd, but with consideration. It’s the mark of a true cyclist. You will enjoy your sport more and your sport will enjoy you.
by myles mc corry
copyright
myles@bikepure.org
Etiquette, pronounced EHT uh keht.
Cycling Etiquette is a whispered code of behavior that helps our community pedal in rotund, harmony together. It is not just an arbitrary set of rigid rules, concerning such subjects as the proper dress for racing, the correct wheels or where to pin your race number: bike protocol deals with a much wider range of behavior. These customs have been introduced to combat the reality that some cyclists are childish, self-important, egotistical arses. Each country has its own system of manners. Behavior considered appropriate in one club run may be considered improper elsewhere. It’s not what’s correct: Cycling Etiquette is simply proper consideration for the other cyclists, who accompany you on the spin.
We are very individual, and you and I are a tad selfish and poor communicators. We are indeed a bit feckin odd; it is why we didn’t go in for team sports in maturity. Odd and loners, in the animal world we are the panda (sitting on a ‘flite’ saddle for 5 hours at a time, squashing the penile tract will induce the same fertility rates). This ‘squad of one’ mindset can introduce an attitude of selfishness and arrogance. A disregard for other abilities and isolated persona. Instead these cyclists who appear at the Sunday morning spin with evil intent on mislaying the children and infirm on the first rise, proclaiming their self worth; in turn offer excuses, when they are under pressure. These weak oppressors blame the bike, the tyres, the road surface, the wind, and the tyres again, never the body. We cyclists have the personal strength not to be sheep. Never run with the herd. The intellectual power to decide, no I don’t want to kick ball or chase one for 18 holes. I want to do something extremely hard and with few rewards. So we are: Say it with me ‘ODD’. This in no way excuses these bad manners or means we have to be a numpty.
This winter, 9 miles into a December club spin, I felt a bead of sweat caress my brow, in artic conditions. Unusual, I thought , then turned around to see the bunch of 30 cyclists split demographically in ones and twos into the horizon. Their separation was distance based on age and borrowed bike. Not 20 minutes ago this weary string was a united group of cyclists. I looked forward to see the catalyst of the destruction: two wannabes and for the next ten miles I wished gangrene of the groin on both of them.
As strong individuals, in a detached sport, the only situation we gather as a brightly dressed tribe, is this club run. At a race: its dog eats dog, in a training chain gang: last man standing, but a club spin where different capabilities congregate in human-required friendship and where cycling manners must come into play. Regardless of where I have cycled on the planet, where two or more people are gathered in the name of communal training, cave man instincts prevail and one of the group wishes to prove dominance. I define a NUMPTY, as a person(s) who wishes to demonstrate to a lesser, younger, heavier cyclist that they are fitter, stronger. The alpha male in Lycra. A childlike cry for attention normally belongs in the jungle or playground, is where one cyclist imposes his or her dictation of speed to the group. The result is anger, resentment, split bunch and a weak club. No bonds or friendships cemented, just souls and dreams stepped on. It seems there is no direct protocol issued, and that the training run should evolve, weekly according to their rank or position or watt output of the strongest. Yes, we train to be strong. But the simple truth is that the ‘club run’ is not the proving ground. Racing is. If you want to prove how good you are, strap a number on, shave the legs and get your photo in the paper. Half wheeling a 69-year-old multiple by-pass veteran won’t win you any medals; or friends.
The name club run is the key. This chance for cyclists, of all abilities in the area come together to enjoy a mutual hobby. The young receiving experience form the old. The old passing on war stories of riding to races with punctures; racing and riding home with no tyres. Ancient, compulsory punishment pre 1971 for not winning. The weekly training spins are ‘the’ club. United by name and jersey under one banner. An alliance with associates, then divided by the assassin. Who sees a victory in an eleven year old new comer stopped, at the side of the road, red faced and tears dripping on fresh bar tape: wondering why he ever took up the sport.
It is even poor training for the bully. The longest training cycle available each week should be allocated to the long level two spins. This preparation ride is required regularly to build or maintain the efficiency of the cardio system. To learn to breath proficiently when the body is under moderate pressure and to educate our system to metabolize energy from the fat store, As this process takes longer than grabbing energy from recently eaten food from the small intestine or stored in the liver as glycogen: a steady long, continual effort, is proven best. Best for everyone. An opportunity for all to enjoy the long, base spin together. Take pleasure in our sport, don’t fill it with resentment. If the club spin wreakers want harder training, all level three work should be done in small groups of similar ability. Upper level three and level four intensity training is only efficient with you and the pulse monitor. On climbs if they want a work out; stick it in the 12 sprocket. Same speed as the group with a bit of power preparation. A urine test for these few would reveal insecurity and self-importance. Show me a club run wreaker that ever actually won a race.
Club Protocol
It ‘s down in writing, it has been voted on and every one will pass the following recommendations as they don’t see them selves as guilty.
i- a club run captain shall be appointed, experienced, ex-racer slightly overweight. His whistle will control speed and direction.
ii- Route will be planned in advance, allowing latecomers to plan a catch up, with the length increasing with the temperature. A cut off point will be designated for shorter run.
iii- Speed will be maintained until this cut off is reached.
iv- if a member of the run punctures, the group will cycle for a mile, turn and return for the victim. If it’s in the last 20 km, the captain will ensure he has spares, only then: - forsaken.
v- half wheeling is outlawed. (Same speed but where the bars do not line up.) The cyclist enforcing pressure is to be taken away to an isolated wood and shot.
vi- helmets and brakes working and fitted to the correct bit.
vii- change on the right, up and over after 2km. keeps conversation fresh, bonds club and ears unbent.
viii- new, underage riders must have a relative or allocated ‘sponsor’ to keep them safe and informed.
Good decorum when meeting a friend in the street is shaking hands. When introduced, look the person in the eyes and use a firm grip to express sincerity. On the bike this changes to a "How's it going?" and then a compliment on weight loss, form or new component. Simple Courtesy. Try to think of others. If you want to race: get a license and use it. There will be a load of guys and girls who will relish your showing off in the early laps, the club run is a time of companionship and group camaraderie.
As prehistoric people began to interact with one another, they learned to behave in ways that made life easier and more pleasant. Don’t make training spins full of shouts of “steady” and “knock it off”. Only laughter and chat and skipping gears should be heard on a Sunday morning. It’s proper bike conduct. Be odd, but with consideration. It’s the mark of a true cyclist. You will enjoy your sport more and your sport will enjoy you.
by myles mc corry
copyright
myles@bikepure.org
Excellent post bikepure!
I'm going to copy and send to some of my members who think our club rides are for them to display their supposed cycling superiority but still refuse to actually race.
I'm going to copy and send to some of my members who think our club rides are for them to display their supposed cycling superiority but still refuse to actually race.
^^^^^^^^Merckx said:Makes me think of this facebook group
********************* -THE OFFICIAL EURO CYCLIST CODE OF CONDUCT- ********************
Created by Dom Guiver and Mike Flavell
1. Image and style shall be the primary concerns of the Euro Cyclist. When suffering, one must focus first on maintaining a cool, even composure and second on performance. Winning races is an added talent, and only counts if said Euro Cyclist wins with appropriate style.
2. Training shall be based solely on feel, while racing shall be guided by sensations and instinct: that is to say, ?soul.? The Euro Cyclist will never accept tried or tested scientific training methods.
3. The Euro Cyclist shall NEVER, under any circumstances, wear plain black spandex bibs (shorts, regardless of colour are BANNED) or ANY team kit
containing non-prominent logos. Shorts will extend approximately 2/3rds of the way down the upper leg and will contain a compression band at the bottom (distinct in colour). In NO CONDITION shall they extend any further!
4. Legs shall be SHAVED year-round. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. Certain hair removal creams are endorsed only on a case-by-case basis. One shall never show up to a race (be it large or small) with ANY amount of stubble visible on one?s legs.
5. A prominent line where one?s kit ends and where one?s deep tan begins is essential to one's image. Artificial tanning is BANNED. The tan shall reflect the level of training commitment.
6. The socks of the Euro Cyclist shall extend to within two (2) cm. of the main bulge of the calf muscle, and shall never extend further than one (1) cm. past said primary calf muscle bulge. All socks SHALL BE WHITE in colour with prominent logo placement.
7. Cycling shoes shall contain at least 80% white!
The following exceptions apply:
i) Colour combinations such as world cup stripes or Olympic gold for which the title has been EARNED.
ii) Shoes which are custom-made for specific riders by companies endorsed by this group. These shoes shall be accessible to the particular cyclist only, and shall follow the preceding rules.
8. If white cycling shoes are not available where the Euro Cyclist resides, white booties (or ?shoe covers?) with prominent logos shall ALWAYS be worn. When booties are worn, socks shall protrude approximately seven (7) cm. above the ankle, and shall always protrude at a minimum one (1) cm. from any booties worn.
9. One?s bike frame shall contain between two (2) and four (4) colours IN ADDITION TO WHITE. All colours are acceptable as long as they combine tastefully and elegantly. In addition, wheel selection must also match frame and fork.
10. One shall race only on Campagnolo Boras or Lightweights. Fulcrum Racing One, Corima Aero+ or Zipp (404 or 202) wheelsets are considered stylish enough to be used as training wheels ONLY. Irregardless, ceramic bearings shall be used at ALL TIMES on both training and race bikes.
11. ALL wheels shall be equipped with tubulars, regardless of one?s ability in gluing them.
12. Ridiculously stylish eyewear (see endorsed products list) is to be worn AT ALL TIMES without exception. Glasses are to be worn over helmet straps at all times.
13. Hair shall be kept neatly short, and matching helmet shall be worn (again with prominent logo placement). The helmet shall be predominantly white. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES shall a clashing helmet colour be worn with one?s euro kit. Helmets are not to be worn when venturing indoors AT ANY TIME. It is, however, acceptable to wear one?s helmet while outdoors on a patio (see rule 34).
14. In certain RARE cases, it shall be deemed acceptable to have long hair. In this event, hair shall be neatly slicked back in a severely euro style, and helmet SHALL NOT be worn. It is IMPERATIVE that rule 12 is followed in these special instances.
15. When riding, sans helmet (with short hair), a team issue cycling cap (white in colour), shall be worn. The bill shall remain in the downward position at all times. The cycling cap may be worn forwards or backwards to coincide with the specifics of one?s current hairstyle. During spring training, cycling toques shall be worn at all times in place of caps.
16. Kits must always be freshly washed, and one shall ALWAYS have applied a subtle quantity of eau de toilette (or ?cologne?). It is, AT ALL TIMES FORBIDDEN to ride in an unwashed kit. This is severely detrimental to one?s image.
17. Saddles shall be white in colour ONLY and shall be manufactured in Italy or France. Exceptions may be made in the following cases:
i) Saddles containing World Cup Stripes or Olympic Gold when it is EARNED
ii) Italian flag colour combo when rider is ITALIAN (born in Italy)
18. Handlebar tape is required to be cork as well as WHITE IN COLOUR. Bar tape shall be kept in pristine white condition. This state shall be achieved either through daily cleansing or through frequent replacement. These jobs must NEVER be performed by the cyclist as one must maintain one?s image.
19. All stems must be a minimum of 120mm long and of a rise no higher than -10 degrees. Stems shall be positioned no more than 0.5cm above the top of the headtube. ALL stems shall ALWAYS be oversized, made out of ALUMINUM, and airbrushed in kit/frame colours. In certain cases (Mario Cipollini) it is advised that one airbrush a buxom young woman onto the top of one?s stem.
20. The Euro Cyclist shall ALWAYS have liniment applied to his legs before appearing in public.
21. Facial hair shall be restricted to (at a maximum) a goatee, and even this is discouraged. Moustaches, beards, and any combination thereof are EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED in all instances. Stubble is, however, advisable in virtually ALL euro-situations. It is important to note that this DOES NOT apply to the legs.
22. Campagnolo shall be THE ONLY acceptable component and it is hereby deemed superior to ANY Shimano product in ALL circumstances and situations. The Euro Cyclist is expected to have nothing less than an ENTIRE campy grouppo. Crank substitutions are NOT permitted. There is, however, a case by case exception for SRAM Red.
23. One shall NEVER, under any circumstances, acknowledge the presence of a cyclist riding a bike costing less than 2000? in ANY public place. This may be severely detrimental to one?s image. If such a situation cannot be helped, it is CRITICAL that the Euro Cyclist regard his ?acquaintance? with a patrician mixture of disdain and SEVERE condescension.
24. One shall NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, associate with triathletes. This cannot be overemphasized! It is FORBIDDEN to have any number inked onto one?s body before a race.
25. Any physical activity other than cycling is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. This includes any form of running or swimming and their derivatives (this includes walking). The ONLY TWO other sports with a recognized degree of euro are: cross-country skiing and long track speed skating.
26. Mountain bike gloves are FORBIDDEN in all instances. Cycling gloves shall be slick, white (in accordance with kit), and have minimal padding. Padding will be beige or white in colour. Wearing NO GLOVES is entirely acceptable and encouraged. In the case of a Euro Cyclist wearing a leader?s jersey special gloves shall be made to match the colour of the jersey while simultaneously blending the colours of the team kit.
27. In a circumstance where any cyclist (or TRIATHLETE) ever displays aggression or disrespect towards a Euro Cyclist, he is required to ride up uncomfortably close to his foe and slap them in the face with his team issue gloves.
28. In the event a motorist disturbs one?s ride: one shall proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the boot of the car while doing one?s best to sound irritated in Italian. Wild arm and head movements (?Gesticulation?) are strongly encouraged to enhance the apparent rage.
29. One shall NEVER rearrange one?s package while riding. Adjustments regarding seating/hanging comfort are to be done in private in order to preserve image.
30. ABSOLUTELY NO FORM of seatbag, frame pump, mud guard or mirror shall come within two (2) metres of one?s bike.
31. Gearing shall be restricted to a titanium Campy Record 11-23 cassette with a ABSOLUTE MINIMUM of 42-53 up front. One must never be seen pedaling at a cadence greater than 90 rpm in order not to detract from one?s calm/smooth factor, or ?Suplesse.? The use of 25-toothed cog is acceptable for severely mountainous training situations.
32. ALL BIKES shall feature personalized nameplates next to one?s home country?s flag, located on the top-tube within ten (10) cm. of the seat-tube ON THE DRIVE SIDE ONLY.
33. Pedals MUST be either Look or Time. No other pedals are to be considered. As always, ANY form of Shimano product is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
34. Coffee is a NECESSITY and as such it must be consumed STRONG (e.g. espresso) on a patio in Italy in full kit; it shall be drunk BLACK. Sugar is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. The only milk present shall appear frothed on top (if at all). The euro cyclist shall, if possible, develop a fondness for the triple ristretto.
35. All podium shots (?pictures?) shall be taken while wearing one?s team kit and appropriately matching casual euro shoes (such as Pumas). Socks shall remain within the guidelines above. One is expected to display an appropriate degree of bulge while receiving kisses/trophies. The bulge may vary according to the outlandishness/impracticality of the victory prize (e.g. livestock and/or enormous cheese wheels).
It's true about being able to tell experienced cyclists from novices by time spent clipped in or clipped out of pedals.
And shoes, don't forget proper road shoes.
Oh, yeah... don't forget about the right bike... and the shaved legs...
... and you need to have just the right amount of obsessiveness (too much and you'll end up divorced, not enough and you'll never be seen as serious!)
And shoes, don't forget proper road shoes.
Oh, yeah... don't forget about the right bike... and the shaved legs...
... and you need to have just the right amount of obsessiveness (too much and you'll end up divorced, not enough and you'll never be seen as serious!)
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