Cycling Haiku's

[Zweistein]

I thought I would start a thread so people can post cycling related haikus. I am no poet but I believe he format of a haiku I believe is 3 phrases of 5,7,5. The following haiku I posted at dailypeloton back in 2006 and I thought it was time to post some follow ups. Cycling is too ridiculous as it is to not be prime haiku material.



2006

Lance doesn't like Floyd
Too bad, they used to be pals
Does Lance have real friends?

2013

Floyd breaks omerta
Lance tried to castrate his "friend"
Forgot, he has two


Oh my dear pal Floyd
Now I can't even compete
And be not normal

 

[blackcat]

Yukiya Arashiro
japanese cyclsts sans dope
Fumiyuku Beppu

 

[Libertine Seguros]

I took EPO
Made me cycle very fast
But gave me fat cheeks

My bilharzia
Is conveniently timed
To avoid Grand Tours

Win the Tour de France
Then try to repeat, descend
Like Ivan Basso

Do you believe in
"Peloton à deux vitesses"
still, Monsieur Voeckler?

Hiring di Luca
Is like drinking gasoline
Asking for trouble

 

[Pentacycle]

Riccardo Riccò
Can't have a power failure
As his bags may spoil

 

[pugdog]

I am innocent,
Panda's eyes stare forlornly
At the disbelief

 

[blackcat]

lauren jalabert
great cocaine potbelge parties
not a panda bear

 

[pugdog]

Laurent Jalabert
A l'insu de son plein gré
Yes Richard Virenque!

 

[horsinabout]

Froome 'Dawg' ugly knees
Piece of p*ss, twice Alpe d' Huez....
No Wiggo - bye bye!



Mad 'Dawg' Englishman?
Go out in the French day sun...
Peloton - have fun

 

[Bag of Guts]

Cleaner than ever
Repeated ad nauseum
Do you feel better?

 

[Libertine Seguros]

Brian Cookson asks,
"What's conflict of interest?"
It's less corrupt now.

 

[Bag of Guts]

As Pat's regime falls
How will his endgame be played?
Scorched earth? I hope so

 

[Netserk]

Cleaner than ever
Repeated ad nauseum
Do you feel better?

The best one so far.

 

[Bag of Guts]

Chilly panniers
On a creepy dude's moto
Blood bags on the move

 

[Bag of Guts]

Meteoric rise
Who is this guy anyway?
Hope his payment cleared

--
Sorry, I hadn't expected this to be so much fun.

 

[Bag of Guts]

New heroes emerge
One wonders from whence they came
From the autobus!?

--
Fun, fun, fun.

 

[TomasC]

Step forward, two back
Or wandering in circles?
McQuaid at the helm.

 

[kingjr]

Laurent Jalabert
A l'insu de son plein gré

I just love that expression

 

[Zweistein]

Basso is busted
Riis must like Hogan's Heros
Says "I know nothing!"

 

[Tyre Byter]

At night the dawg howls
His black and blue pack smell blood....
Doping control sleep'zzzzzz'

 

[Athame]

Yukiya Arashiro
japanese cyclsts sans dope
Fumiyuku Beppu

Zettai dame dai yo~
__________ Zettai!

 

[TomasC]

Happiest orchard
just a few rotten apples
since twenty oh-six

 

[Avoriaz]

Tour de France starts
Look at the nice sunflowers
Not the blood bag farce

 

[Major Taylor]

Row row row yer boat

Push Push Push
Your bike
Gently up the slope
Verily
Verily
Verily
Some cyclist gonna dope

Haiku not so much

 

[Bag of Guts]

Tour de France starts
Look at the nice sunflowers
Not the blood bag farce

Envy the dreamer
Whose mind sustains the mythos
Farce notwithstanding

 

[Bag of Guts]

Shaggy dawg story
Shamelessly enshrined in print
Worthless words for sale

--
For Stephen Farrand.