- Apr 11, 2009
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http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/...183707465.html
"According to the CDC, over 128 million flu vaccines have been administered this year," Jay Leno said on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno." "That's almost as many injections as Lance Armstrong has gotten in his entire career." And Armstrong's confession, he noted, "came as a shock to as many as a dozen people."
Armstrong's sit-down with Winfrey "lasted close to three hours," Jimmy Fallon quipped on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon." "So it's sort of like a regular interview but, you know, on steroids."
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And Jimmy Kimmel joked on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" that "inside sources say [Armstrong] refused to come clean about the doping at first, but then he caved when Oprah promised him a panini maker."
Kimmel then outsourced the rest of his Armstrong zingers to a mock call center in India. "We've done a lot of Lance Armstrong jokes over the years, and it's hard to come up with new stuff," Kimmel said before turning his monologue over to the outsourced material:
"Why did Lance Armstrong go on the Oprah Winfrey show? Because he thought he'd have a ball."
"What is the secret of Lance Armstrong's success? He always stays positive."
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As for "The Daily Show," it weighed in on Armstrong in a segment called "Mr. Fibb."
"I believed in you Lance Armstrong," host Jon Stewart said, feigning outrage. "I shelled out a dollar for a rubber bracelet I have somewhere in my house. ... Well I think we all owe cancer an apology."
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The "Late Show With David Letterman," meanwhile, dedicated its "Top Ten" list on Tuesday to the other revelations from Armstrong's Winfrey interview:
10. Artificially enhanced his cycling shorts
9. Still never leaves the house without several vials of clean urine
8. Owns Texas real estate known as "Rancho Decepto"
7. Took steroids to work up the strength to admit taking steroids
6. Once had an inappropriate relationship with an air hose
5. Also has tattoo of Rex Ryan's wife
4. Has given up on making the baseball Hall of Fame
3. United States Postal Service paid him in stamps
2. Started erotic website, "Tour-De-Pants"
1. Admitted to doping just to get on "Oprah"
"According to the CDC, over 128 million flu vaccines have been administered this year," Jay Leno said on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno." "That's almost as many injections as Lance Armstrong has gotten in his entire career." And Armstrong's confession, he noted, "came as a shock to as many as a dozen people."
Armstrong's sit-down with Winfrey "lasted close to three hours," Jimmy Fallon quipped on "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon." "So it's sort of like a regular interview but, you know, on steroids."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
And Jimmy Kimmel joked on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" that "inside sources say [Armstrong] refused to come clean about the doping at first, but then he caved when Oprah promised him a panini maker."
Kimmel then outsourced the rest of his Armstrong zingers to a mock call center in India. "We've done a lot of Lance Armstrong jokes over the years, and it's hard to come up with new stuff," Kimmel said before turning his monologue over to the outsourced material:
"Why did Lance Armstrong go on the Oprah Winfrey show? Because he thought he'd have a ball."
"What is the secret of Lance Armstrong's success? He always stays positive."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
As for "The Daily Show," it weighed in on Armstrong in a segment called "Mr. Fibb."
"I believed in you Lance Armstrong," host Jon Stewart said, feigning outrage. "I shelled out a dollar for a rubber bracelet I have somewhere in my house. ... Well I think we all owe cancer an apology."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The "Late Show With David Letterman," meanwhile, dedicated its "Top Ten" list on Tuesday to the other revelations from Armstrong's Winfrey interview:
10. Artificially enhanced his cycling shorts
9. Still never leaves the house without several vials of clean urine
8. Owns Texas real estate known as "Rancho Decepto"
7. Took steroids to work up the strength to admit taking steroids
6. Once had an inappropriate relationship with an air hose
5. Also has tattoo of Rex Ryan's wife
4. Has given up on making the baseball Hall of Fame
3. United States Postal Service paid him in stamps
2. Started erotic website, "Tour-De-Pants"
1. Admitted to doping just to get on "Oprah"
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