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NEWS FLASH!! Armstrong does not test positive for plasticizer

Fusin, Transylvania (AP) Researchers at Ampire Labs at Pith-on University, an affiliate of the World Anti-Duping Agency (WADA), have announced the presence of metabolites of di-(2-ethylhexyl)phthalate (DEHP), a plasticizer commonly found in blood storage bags, in a urine sample from retired cycling champion Lance Armstrong.

“While DEHP metabolites are commonly found in the human body, the high levels we detected in this sample of Armstrong’s strongly suggest a blood transfusion,” explained Dr. Urasin A. Sling, the research team’s leader. Infusion of one’s own blood, which can provide performance enhancement by increasing the body’s red blood cells, is banned by the sport. David Howman, director general of WADA, has suggested that elevated DEHP levels could be used as evidence of doping.

Armstrong’s lawyer, Mack Fabricati, was quick to dismiss the results. “This is basically science fiction,” he insisted, “and shows just how desperate some people are to prove that Lance doped. Unfortunately for these haters, they are cornered in their own self-supported reality. WADA has not validated this procedure, and any statement attributed to Dr. Howman is nothing but a rumor.”

After questioning the credentials of the “pseudo-scientists” at Ampire, Fabricati added, “These substances could have come from anywhere. For example, DEHP is a known contaminant in food containers from Taiwan, and Armstrong has eaten at Chinese restaurants on numerous occasions. Also, it should be noted that Dr. Sling may be writing a book.” Fabricati referred reporters to his website smears4lance.org for further information.

The sample analyzed at Pith-on U was provided by Armstrong during the 2009 Tour de France. If Armstrong were to be found guilty of blood transfusing, he could be stripped of his third place finish in that race.

Spain’s Alberto Contador, who won that Tour in an often heated confrontation with Armstrong, his own teammate at the time, commented: “I think Lance is too big to fail, just as I am.”

Britain’s Bradley Wiggins, who finished fourth in that Tour, just seconds behind Armstrong, noted, “Lance Armstrong should be considered innocent until proven guilty, I mean, he should be considered negative unless he is positive, and even a positive is not really negative.”

An unidientified WADA official would not comment on the finding, except to say, “We are considering making DEHP a threshold substance. As soon as we find a level that will clear the riders we think need to be cleared, we will get back to you.”
 
Nov 23, 2009
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Blue coloured pictures for blue blooded Armstrong.

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Dutch online newspaper nusport.nl (who ran the Max van Heeswijk story recently) are opening their inbox for reader's memories of Armstrong's carreer. Soon it will be 15 years after he was diagnosed.
Responses up till 200 words to: reactie@nusport.nl
I suppose they'll want it in Dutch, but don't let that stop you.

Surey this thread will be killed shortly?
 
Mar 20, 2009
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i didnt think any thread in the clinic was serious.
threads here are started by overzealous and outlandish assumptions by people who think they know all about drugs yet admit they have no firsthand knowledge of what they so blatantly think is the reason for ANYONE who wins ANYTHING. :)
 
Sep 5, 2009
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Susan Westemeyer said:
I have reopened this thread with the understanding that no one is to take it seriously.......

Susan

I would think that Polish et al on just reading the topic would have taken it very seriously by executing cartwheels! :)
 
May 6, 2009
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Merckx index said:
Fusin, Transylvania (AP) Researchers at Ampire Labs at Pith-on University, an affiliate of the World Anti-Duping Agency (WADA), have announced the presence of metabolites of di-(2-ethylhexyl)phthalate (DEHP), a plasticizer commonly found in blood storage bags, in a urine sample from retired cycling champion Lance Armstrong.

“While DEHP metabolites are commonly found in the human body, the high levels we detected in this sample of Armstrong’s strongly suggest a blood transfusion,” explained Dr. Urasin A. Sling, the research team’s leader. Infusion of one’s own blood, which can provide performance enhancement by increasing the body’s red blood cells, is banned by the sport. David Howman, director general of WADA, has suggested that elevated DEHP levels could be used as evidence of doping.

Armstrong’s lawyer, Mack Fabricati, was quick to dismiss the results. “This is basically science fiction,” he insisted, “and shows just how desperate some people are to prove that Lance doped. Unfortunately for these haters, they are cornered in their own self-supported reality. WADA has not validated this procedure, and any statement attributed to Dr. Howman is nothing but a rumor.”

After questioning the credentials of the “pseudo-scientists” at Ampire, Fabricati added, “These substances could have come from anywhere. For example, DEHP is a known contaminant in food containers from Taiwan, and Armstrong has eaten at Chinese restaurants on numerous occasions. Also, it should be noted that Dr. Sling may be writing a book.” Fabricati referred reporters to his website smears4lance.org for further information.

The sample analyzed at Pith-on U was provided by Armstrong during the 2009 Tour de France. If Armstrong were to be found guilty of blood transfusing, he could be stripped of his third place finish in that race.

Spain’s Alberto Contador, who won that Tour in an often heated confrontation with Armstrong, his own teammate at the time, commented: “I think Lance is too big to fail, just as I am.”

Britain’s Bradley Wiggins, who finished fourth in that Tour, just seconds behind Armstrong, noted, “Lance Armstrong should be considered innocent until proven guilty, I mean, he should be considered negative unless he is positive, and even a positive is not really negative.”

An unidientified WADA official would not comment on the finding, except to say, “We are considering making DEHP a threshold substance. As soon as we find a level that will clear the riders we think need to be cleared, we will get back to you.”

Well done, Sir.
 
Sep 4, 2010
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danjo007 said:
i didnt think any thread in the clinic was serious.
threads here are started by overzealous and outlandish assumptions by people who think they know all about drugs yet admit they have no firsthand knowledge of what they so blatantly think is the reason for ANYONE who wins ANYTHING. :)

Couldn't have said it any better! Bravo!
 
Apr 3, 2011
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new facts

In an interview given to BS-hit magazine Prof. Lee Cutter (leading chirurgian in charge of Lance Armstrong's surgery) from St. Deadbody Hospital and Uni. Baller Hills claims that the "plasticizer" detected is most likely coming from the plastic ball they implanted instead of the removed one (actually, Lance even did not know they are going to do it, it was a X-mas present from his wife).
 
danjo007 said:
i didnt think any thread in the clinic was serious.
threads here are started by overzealous and outlandish assumptions by people who think they know all about drugs yet admit they have no firsthand knowledge of what they so blatantly think is the reason for ANYONE who wins ANYTHING. :)

And the first Wee Todd chimes in on how everyone in the clinic (who accuses pro cyclists of doping) knows nothing and is making outlandish assumptions.........:rolleyes: