What will be this year's excuse

[ozerulz]

Ok so last year it was tainted beef, what will be this year's excuse for a positive test?

 

[laziali]

Ok so last year it was tainted beef, what will be this year's excuse for a positive test?

I didn't make a big enough donation to the UCI

 

[Boeing]

saliva swap with podium girl?

 

[MR_Sarcastic]

Go with what works..........The beef.

 

[Cimacoppi49]

Asthma. Needed my inhaler with steroids.

 

[Fourier]

Dear UCI/WADA/national federation: Prior to the Alpe d'Huez stage I ate a Turducken contaminated with HGH, EPO and Clen.
as for the opiates found on the sample, that I cannot explain.

 

[LukeSchmid]

Armstrong won 7 tours doing it so
WHY CAN'T I

 

[Escarabajo]

Armstrong won 7 tours doing it so
WHY CAN'T I

It didn't work for Landis.

 

[Anonymous]

I was dehydrated due to German bean sprouts on my salad.

 

[ElChingon]

Agh come on!

Spanish Pickles! That were imported to Germany

 

[Willy_Voet]

My high testosterone level is the result of too much olive oil last night.

My positive for cocaine is because I was riding in the gutter with my mouth open.

 

[masking_agent]

I took my kids for a brief visit to a local zoo, and a monkey bit me

 

[hrotha]

Radioactive spider.

 

[on3m@n@rmy]

tainted bottle of Viagra

 

[ergmonkey]

Dear UCI/WADA/national federation: Prior to the Alpe d'Huez stage I ate a Turducken contaminated with HGH, EPO and Clen.
as for the opiates found on the sample, that I cannot explain.

The opiates should be the easiest to explain: poppyseed muffins!

(and one of the few food excuses that actually can explain a false-positive under normal circumstances)

 

[oldschoolnik]

Here are some:

My 78 year old mother crossing the border into France let the ice melt in her refrigerated motorcycle side panels--and thinking it was Pom Wonderful - I drank 2 pints - er, uh, I mean bottles..


My hotel got my room mixed and accidently put my agent's centrifuge and blood for his Hemopheliac wife in my room. I assumed it was my special-order Charlie Sheen Tiger's Blood and drank it.

I didn't actually test positive, all 18 people, including testers and people who saw me take the drugs, have, in some way, zero credibility, and I like my credibility.

 

[ElChingon]

I found out I stayed in the same hotel room <insert past doper's name> stayed in and got a contact contamination!

This way they could use pretty much any PED and use the Contador excuse and get away with it

 

[Nicoper]

I was winning too much and there was some kind of blood-busting pesticide remnants in a podium champagne. First victory was the hardest, than it got easier, but how could I have knew...

 

[ProfTournesol]

The contaminated beef excuse seems very common, it took out half of the Mexican football teamso there must be a lot of it around. I's play it safe and go with what's popular.

 

[Frosty]

I reckon on there being no positives this year so the excuse will be for doing poorly after being target tested. The rider will claim that they had that much blood taken for samples that they were left weak ('hey normally we get to put it back in on the rest day in time for the mountain stages but these guys dont give it back')