1) if you ride a fixed gear (obviously), who would ever want or need to change gears
2) if you color coordinate everything on your bike from the rims down to the chain
3) if you opt for thick rimmed glasses instead of Oakley or Briko eyewear
4) if you wear women's jeans (as a man) and roll up both pant legs right above the calf bulge
5) if you insist your bike must be retro, anything frame after 1990 is most definitely off limits, and of course vintage parts is also a must
6) if you scoff at people with breaks on their bikes, because gunning through red lights, narrowly missing traffic in the process, is so much cooler than obeying traffic rules like we are supposed to
7) if you use your spd cleats as a beer bottle opener
8) if you don't need to use your spd cleats as a beer bottle opener, because all you drink is canned PBR
2) if you color coordinate everything on your bike from the rims down to the chain
3) if you opt for thick rimmed glasses instead of Oakley or Briko eyewear
4) if you wear women's jeans (as a man) and roll up both pant legs right above the calf bulge
5) if you insist your bike must be retro, anything frame after 1990 is most definitely off limits, and of course vintage parts is also a must
6) if you scoff at people with breaks on their bikes, because gunning through red lights, narrowly missing traffic in the process, is so much cooler than obeying traffic rules like we are supposed to
7) if you use your spd cleats as a beer bottle opener
8) if you don't need to use your spd cleats as a beer bottle opener, because all you drink is canned PBR