Buffalo Soldier said:Like I said, only a small minority of muslim girls cover their face in public (at least in Europe, but also in most of the muslim countries). Most wear a hijab or nothing.
How do they find a parter? By there parents I assume. (this doesn't mean the parents have full control over marriage: parents choose potential marriage partners but the sun/daughter can refuse the partner -till a certain level)
As for what age they start wearing it. It depends. I don't think you'll see girls wear it before puberty. In highschool some do wear a hijab, but still mostly a minority. Basically (at least before they are married, and mostly also after) it's there own choice. I heard muslim women say they don't wear the hijab, because they don't feel they are ready for it. Don't really know what that means though...
Here are a few bits that I learned recently, by asking a lot of questions of a female colleague of mine who wears a hijab and recently had an arranged marriage. And who is a senior computer programmer.
Connection between headgarments and piety
Buffalo Solider seems to be pretty much correct in his/her synopsis above. The wearing of any sort of head covering is a choice made based on a commonly-held perception of piety. The thing that varies is the definition of "commonly".
Communities that do not already insist on the wearing of headgarments as a de facto activity consider the wearing of them as a freely-chosen expression of strong piety. Therefore wearing them in these communities equates to a corresponding level of spiritual maturity. Hence "not being ready" as Buffalo Soldier mentions above, means not yet feeling sufficiently equipped with the maturity to express one's piety to that level.
So in other communities in which headgarments are de facto, the individual need not necessarily possess a deeply-felt piety or spiritual maturity. At this point, and where there is no social obligation, one might find some cause for an argument about equality and coercion.
'Arranged' marriages and the flexibility of tradition
I have a colleague who recently embarked on an 'arranged' marriage. I use inverted commas there because I don't want to suggest that 'arranged' is the same as 'mandatory'. She could have declined the marriage at any time without loss of face to either family.
And family is the key thing here. The marriage is a union of families rather moreso than of individuals. This isn't easy to appreciate for those of us who come together for love rather than the abnegation of self required by an arranged marriage. This however is the tradition and we all know about the different ways other cultures tend to think about individuality à la Confucius.
Moreover, the same tradition also decrees a payment in the form of a 'dotation' (a dowry, if you like). However, as with everything I've heard about in these very intricate matters, an entirely modern breeze blows through the situation. This is another example of the flexibility that might not seem immediately obvious to others.
Nowadays, rather than waive the dotation, families often choose to pay over a nominal figure out of a sense of form, or else if a fuller sum is agreed by both families, that sum will be expressly used to furnish the new marital home.