(Right, I caved in, I shall answer the questions.)
Cabernet? No
Merlot? No
Barrelled? I think you're just asking weird questions to avoid making the final guess!
Ages well? Possibly... (of course, he's still quite young!)
Seen in glasses? Not that I can recall... but my memory isn't the best... (I assume other than cycling glasses.)
Has the bottle? Huh...
To the authorities? No, just here.
Do you miss him these days? Not really... (more during the Giro)
Have you grown a soft spot for him? It has been reported
Is his goat named Kim? One of them, yes
Alsatian? No (that's referring to the Alsace region, right?)
Normand? No
Goatman? Yeah
Has a goatee? No
Romain? No
Frenchman? Oui
Scandiman? No
Batman? No...
Euroman? Yes
German? No
Welshman? No
Frogman? No...
Dutchman? No
Bushman? No
Danishman? No
Irishman? No
Or just part Irish? No
Born in Belgium? No
Has he ridden a race today? No
Non-aligned country? No
Sinai? No
Maghreb? No
Levant? No
From the Balkans? No
From Grande-Bretagne? No
Active? Yes
Male? Yes
From Bretagne? No