Krebs' Free form/Chaos Thread

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Mar 10, 2009
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Asamblea_Plaza_Mayor.jpg
 
Mar 16, 2009
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Dunkin' Donuts employee is charged with prostitution while on job
ROCKAWAY BOROUGH — Police dubbed the operation "extra sugar."

They said the 29-year old Dunkin’ Donuts employee was soliciting sex while working the drive-thru during her overnight shift.

Rockaway Borough police had been watching since mid-June, according to Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann, and saw her enter several cars.

Today, Melissa Redmond, in her first interview since she was arrested last week, fought back, offering her side of the story.

"I am not some *****," she said, choking back tears.
 
Jul 14, 2009
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friend just bought a house in Montclair, was there yesterday and went to Dunkin' only for donuts and coffee? Is there a number you ask for if what you want is not on the menu? This story really brings new meaning to all things donut, glazed, cream filling and donut holes
 
Mar 16, 2009
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Video:Mariachi's Serenade a Beluga Whale

Mariachi Band Serenades Music-Loving Beluga Whale
A playful beluga whale named Juno recently interacted with a mariachi band that played at a wedding held at the Mystic Aquarium in Connecticut.
Kelly O'Neil, senior trainer of beluga whales at the aquarium, told me that Juno was hanging out in his 750,000-gallon tank when the wedding festivities began. Juno shares the tank with two other female beluga whales.

The whales can choose to go up to the window, to watch any human happenings, or they can retreat to quiet, private areas, which include two back pools that are out of sight.

"Juno is extremely playful, so the mariachi band must have piqued his curiosity," O'Neil said. "The two females might have stayed away since he was hogging the window."

Beluga whales are known as the "canaries of the sea," due to their musical vocalizations. (You can listen to some in this beautiful clip.) O'Neil said the whales can hear outside of their tank, when they get up to the window, so there's little doubt that Juno was aware of the music.

He is also clearly aware of the mariachi players' movements, even dancing along with them as he mirrors their head bobs and sways.

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Mar 16, 2009
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To Europe...
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said: "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded 'yes.' After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He sure is, lady," said the Captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry.
 
Mar 13, 2009
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Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...

Holy f**king s**t!

Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the **** end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I p*ssed my f**kin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,
"F**k me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got [align=right] on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherf**kin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from f**kin' high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this s**t never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this s**t never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold [and] eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, s**t the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
s**t the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed *
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, s**t the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said

[We] don't know, [and we] won't know (x12)

God damn, s**t the bed!

Tool - Rosetta Stoned