Off with their heads!
Show this bold Prussian that praises slaughter, slaughter brings rout. Teach this slaughter-lover his fall nears.
Grim, no? But remove the first letter of each word and the mood changes:
How his old Russian hat raises laughter — laughter rings out! Each, his laughter over, is all ears.
“Language,” wrote Flaubert, “is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, while all the time we long to move the stars to pity.”
Show this bold Prussian that praises slaughter, slaughter brings rout. Teach this slaughter-lover his fall nears.
Grim, no? But remove the first letter of each word and the mood changes:
How his old Russian hat raises laughter — laughter rings out! Each, his laughter over, is all ears.
“Language,” wrote Flaubert, “is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, while all the time we long to move the stars to pity.”
- Mar 16, 2009
- 19,482
- 2
- 0
Former cannibal seeking a wife
KARANGANYAR, Indonesia, Aug. 12 (UPI) -- A former cannibal in Indonesia who is currently living at a mental institution said he is on the lookout for potential wives.
KARANGANYAR, Indonesia, Aug. 12 (UPI) -- A former cannibal in Indonesia who is currently living at a mental institution said he is on the lookout for potential wives.
- Mar 16, 2009
- 19,482
- 2
- 0
Man charged with DUI after winning demolition derby
Moments after winning the demolition derby at the Jessamine County Fair Wednesday night, a man ended up being taken to jail.
Nicholasville Police say 36-year-old David Warner was drunk, so they charged him with DUI.
Police say during the demolition derby itself, they began receiving complaints about Warner, claiming he was under the influence.
As soon as the derby was over, police say they approached Warner as he got out of his car.
Police say Warner was staggering, and having trouble standing up straight.
Moments after winning the demolition derby at the Jessamine County Fair Wednesday night, a man ended up being taken to jail.
Nicholasville Police say 36-year-old David Warner was drunk, so they charged him with DUI.
Police say during the demolition derby itself, they began receiving complaints about Warner, claiming he was under the influence.
As soon as the derby was over, police say they approached Warner as he got out of his car.
Police say Warner was staggering, and having trouble standing up straight.
- Mar 16, 2009
- 19,482
- 2
- 0
Brokeback Woman
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.'
The hired hand readily agreed and went into t own on Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30 am , and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's w idow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said: 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!'
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.'
The hired hand readily agreed and went into t own on Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30 am , and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's w idow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said: 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!'
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