exercisephiend said:
From what I read with the Sastre Interview;........What a jerk!
thank you for visiting, we do hope you enjoy your stay. If there is anything we can do to make your three weeks with us a little more comfortable please let us know and one of our staff will be pleased to help you.
If at any point you wish to start a thread, just click on the New Thread button which you will find located at the end of each corridor. New Threads ideally should be about a topic not previously discussed, but If you wish to start a new one despite that, feel free, and receive one of our special "i started a thread" certificates.
Breakfast is served each morning at 7am Eastern European Time, and will consist of portions of ridicule and croissonts. Irony and sarcasm can be provided but these need to be ordered the night before at reception.
During your stay there will be a number of activities and events for the new tourist. These include:
The "ive just started the most pointless thread" contest.. This one is hotly contested, especially amongst first time visitors. To win it really must be something really special. Try making it about a subject already discussed and on the front page of the forum. If you cant to that at least make it about Lance Armstrong, or the Astana Team. Bonus points are awarded each day for making the thread title completely unrelated to the content, although guests are disqualified for obvious attention grabbing headlines.
The Daily "i clearly dont know what im talking about" - A competition contested by both new guests, and more seasoned travellers. Previous entries include wrong rider names, or team names, through to people who have tipped someone to win despite them not being in the race.
The "National Bias takes over" award. Hotly contested amongst Australians who believe that Cadel Evans can win the tour de france, this award is though open to contestants from all countries. On the spot prizes are awarded for any spaniards who think Contador is clean, or Valverde is being unfairly targeted, Americans who think Lance Armstrong is god, and Brits that think Mark Cavendish is not an arrogant ****. Due to the size of some countries, guests from Norway or Sweden are allowed to refer to themselves as "scandinavian" and show bias to all riders from cold countries. nb: Additional towels are provided for our german guests.
Please remember, before ending your stay to visit our botique where you will find a wide range of items by which to remember your visit, these including doping products, chocolates, and a fine range of "I Hate" tshirts, which may be customised for you with the name of your choice up to 15 letters, just enough for the name of your most hated cyclist as long as he isnt russian. For the compulsive new thread starter we also have a wide range of sporting goods, including "i started a pointless thread" baseballs caps, tshirts, and golf umbrellas.
Do enjoy your stay with us and we hope to see you again next year.