Murdoch vs Armstrong?

[Oldman]

While we're in the world of fantasy...

If a guy like Murdoch (personal net worth: $6.3 BILLION US) truly wanted to f with Lance, he'd just buy the effing TdF and personally dis-invite him.

Or buy Trek and make him ride an embarrassing bike.

 

[MacRoadie]

Or buy Trek and make him ride an embarrassing bike.

Too late.

 

[Cerberus]

So lets get this right, Murdoch got together with landis a couple of years ago, created a cunning plan to bring down lance, so built his own team, then got landis to write a load of emails, published them across murdoch news media, result, armstrong is out of cycling and murdoch becomes rich..

that plan seems to be missing a few fundemental arguments.. like how?

It's quite simple. Murdoch was, as we all know, born in Australia. Australia is under the British Queen. Now the entire British royal family of cause consists of shape changing lizards from outer space. The Lizard Aliens keep in touch with the Greys en Area 51 who of cause have connections with the CIA. The CIA has their Mind Control satellites and used those to make Landis write the letter falsely implicating Armstrong. They'd have gone straight for Armstrong, but you see he's lined the inside of his helmet with tinfoil. Is everything clear now?

 

[CPAvelo]

It's quite simple. Murdoch was, as we all know, born in Australia. Australia is under the British Queen. Now the entire British royal family of cause consists of shape changing lizards from outer space. The Lizard Aliens keep in touch with the Greys en Area 51 who of cause have connections with the CIA. The CIA has their Mind Control satellites and used those to make Landis write the letter falsely implicating Armstrong. They'd have gone straight for Armstrong, but you see he's lined the inside of his helmet with tinfoil. Is everything clear now?

Now all we need is to have LA confess himself to be Jesus Christ, like Brit David Icke did before revealing the reptilian agenda that made all this possible.

 

[Anonymous]

Now all we need is to have LA confess himself to be Jesus Christ, like Brit David Icke did before revealing the reptilian agenda that made all this possible.

I thought lance was god.. now i really am fondued..

 

[Cobblestones]

It's quite simple. Murdoch was, as we all know, born in Australia. Australia is under the British Queen. Now the entire British royal family of cause consists of shape changing lizards from outer space. The Lizard Aliens keep in touch with the Greys en Area 51 who of cause have connections with the CIA. The CIA has their Mind Control satellites and used those to make Landis write the letter falsely implicating Armstrong. They'd have gone straight for Armstrong, but you see he's lined the inside of his helmet with tinfoil. Is everything clear now?

Aww shucks, now I have to kill everybody who has read that.

 

[Oldman]

I thought lance was god.. now i really am fondued..

That's why he won't talk to his father; everyone thinks he's talking to himself and that he's a crazy egomaniac. We knew there was an explanation.

 

[Cerberus]

Aww shucks, now I have to kill everybody who has read that.

Oh, I'm sorry if I've forced you to work overtime.

 

[Trousers O'bongo]

I'm glad this thread has been given the respect it deserves , but I do wonder why Sky got involved with such a relatively marginal sport (in revenue terms) in the first place. I can't help but think that Murdoch wants more than just a logo on a mediocre bicycle outfit.

I have upgraded my conspiracy theory to orange alert and expanded on a few comments:

UCI regime change - who is waiting in the wings to succeed PM once he takes gardening leave? It's clear the big teams would all enjoy a little mutual backscratching with the governors, and this is facilitated by getting the right person to the top and donating them money (cf. historical favouritism for JB's teams). You would hope that any self-respecting team has someone on the inside lobbying for their cause and Murdoch is better placed than others to pull this off.

Ok then, with a new puppet at the UCI making sure Sky get the heads up on testing, covering up positives and simultaneously saying how wonderfully clean cycling is now that we've washed our hands of PM/JB and LA (this bit needs filling in...), Sky magically start winning and performing out of their socks.

In order to crack America they need home grown stars. Where do the new Livestrong generation of riders turn now that the path of Armstrong has proven false? Why, only the most successful team of the moment - Sky!

(Keep up)

Now Sky have their winning team (full of wholesome farm boys, poster boys and paper-sales-friendly boys) they can start to throw their weight about in regard to which races they will lend their media appeal to by simply showing up. I reckon the North American race organisers will be falling over themselves quicker than MC to have Sky on board (especially since their investments have taken a terrible tumble with the demise and fall of LA).

What the US badly needs though, is a 3-week grand tour of its own to really whet the appetite of Joe Sixpack and loosen his wallet (imagine the phenomenal media spectacle of a Tour of America, proving that the US of A can beat the Europeans and particularly the French at their own game), if only there was a kindly billionaire media magnate who was interested in cycling, and could... hang on a minute!!!

(I need to get something down about newspaper owners being the founding fathers of the grand tours and their reasons for doing so. No time, no time.)

Of course, continued doping would be intrinsic to this masterplan in order to produce the greatest feats of endurance ever seen in a bicycle race. So if we concentrate heavily on LA, turning him from one time inspirational superhero through to cheating liar and fame hungry dope fiend into sacrificial lamb and kick him (and hence drugs in the public's perception) out of the sport we can carry on as normal and forget the whole nasty business.


You couldn’t make it up, although I just did.

And Mr T’s new catchphrase for Snickers is, “Get some nuts!”, now I’m sure I can work that into a Masterfoods vs. Lance thread.

 

[Anonymous]

I'm glad this thread has been given the respect it deserves , but I do wonder why Sky got involved with such a relatively marginal sport (in revenue terms) in the first place. I can't help but think that Murdoch wants more than just a logo on a mediocre bicycle .

Sky have been involved in cycling for several years. And actually, the publicity for sky over the years before Team Sky Proffessional Cycling was created, via the track team were immense.. The golds they racked up at the olympics brought nothing but publicity for sky at a time when britain was just starting the digital switchover. Couple that with the sky rides they put on in various cities, which probably cost relatively little in return for all those little sky tshirts that get cycled around the cities for a day.

You could say the same for any sponsor.. Do rabobank get loads of new customers via the team, do we all watch discovery channel, or rush to take part in the french or belgian lotteries. Do we all buy a cervelo, or a garmin (ok, so i have a garmin)

 

[thehog]

The WSJ still want to take Armstrong down for this public comment:

"Dear Sirs:

I am writing in response to the article written by Reed Albergotti which inaccurately and ineptly described what Mr. Albergotti perceived as an
ongoing feud between Greg LeMond and me. In general, the article fell far short of minimum journalistic standards on many levels. The article was egregiously one-sided, omitted essential material facts and contained many facts which Mr. Albergotti knew, or should have known, were either false or highly questionable."

They farking hate him. Newspapers cannot stand being set straight by a know-all. Never question a newspaper. They/ll come back and get you one day. Which happens to be in the next 12 days.

 

[Cal_Joe]

The WSJ still want to take Armstrong down for this public comment

Opinion or do you have a link as to the WSJ's intentions?

They farking hate him.

Opinion or do you have a link as to the WSJ's feelings?

Newspapers cannot stand being set straight by a know-all. Never question a newspaper. They/ll come back and get you one day.

Opinion or do you have a link as to the WSJ's intentions regarding libel issues?

Which happens to be in the next 12 days.

Opinion or do you have a link as to the WSJ's article schedule?

Gosh, tell me this isn't just another BaconBoy(TM) making s**it up post. That act is not only well known but has passed from mildly amusing to plain old tired.

Back it up before Friday - eh?

 

[Thee_chisa]

signs rising US stars

that won't happen. sky are a UK and italian team. and the US riders are too "suspect"

 

[Anonymous]

that won't happen. sky are a UK and italian team. and the US riders are too "suspect"

you have to allow for the fact that this entire thread is insane.

 

[Oldman]

you have to allow for the fact that this entire thread is insane.

Yes, Absolutely. Murdoch vs Armstrong would never go more than two rounds.

 

[MacRoadie]

Yes, Absolutely. Murdoch vs Armstrong would never go more than two rounds.

Murdoch v. Armstrong would never go beyond Murdoch writing a check...

 

[Oldman]

Murdoch v. Armstrong would never go beyond Murdoch writing a check...

Right on:
Round One: Armstrong comes out swinging while Murdoch bobs, weaves and praises the marketability of LA until the bell.

Round Two: Armstrong posturing, forward on this toes; doesn't see the Scandal Media sucker punch backed by Big Bucks Murdoch. He's down.

 

[MacRoadie]

Right on:
Round One: Armstrong comes out swinging while Murdoch bobs, weaves and praises the marketability of LA until the bell.

Round Two: Armstrong posturing, forward on this toes; doesn't see the Scandal Media sucker punch backed by Big Bucks Murdoch. He's down.

Yep. 7-odd BILLION net worth puts you in the super-heavyweight division.

 

[Oldman]

Yep. 7-odd BILLION net worth puts you in the super-heavyweight division.

Only thing odd about 7 billion is the 7. It'll be 8 soon enough.