Official lance armstrong thread, part 2 (from september 2012)

[Lones1]

Hilarious:

Wall Street Journal: Last-Minute Halloween Ideas for the Kids

Confirmation that Lance has finally raised cycling awareness into mainstream America.

Excellent, totally hilarious post

 

[StyrbjornSterki]

If the Fed case is reopened maybe Wonderboy could share a cell with Dad?

Doubtful. "Sonny" died 25 June 2012.

Eddie Charles Gunderson, age 59, passed away after a brief illness, Monday, June 25, 2012. He was born in Dallas, Texas on May 15, 1953 to Eddie and Willine Meadows Gunderson. He was a lifelong resident of Dallas where he worked for the Dallas Times Herald and the Dallas Morning News.

Eddie is predeceased in death by his father, Edvin M. Gunderson, sister Brenda Kaye Gunderson and nephew Michael D. Elkins, Jr.

He is survived by his wife of 17 years, Rebecca Gunderson, his loving mother Willine Gunderson Harroff, children; Lance Edward Gunderson, Dylan Chas Gunderson, Sonnie Michaela Gunderson, step-children ....

 

[ElChingon]

Lance just got the keys to Adelaide yanked from his pocket. One city down how many to take their keys back

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/armstrong-to-be-stripped-of-his-keys-to-adelaide

 

[mewmewmew13]

Lance just go the keys to Adelaide yanked from his pocket. One city down how many to take their keys back

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/armstrong-to-be-stripped-of-his-keys-to-adelaide

I don't remember ever hearing of anyone getting their keys taken away!
can't think of anyone more deserving....

 

[D-Queued]

Doubtful. "Sonny" died 25 June 2012.

While he and his first son were estranged, at least he passed away before Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall. Hopefully whatever pride he may have had in Lance, independent of their relationship, was intact and it brought him some peace.

Dave.

 

[BroDeal]

Lance just go the keys to Adelaide yanked from his pocket. One city down how many to take their keys back

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/armstrong-to-be-stripped-of-his-keys-to-adelaide

It might be hard to get the key back. It looks like Aussie taxpayers will be on the hook for changing the locks to the city. The Dalai Lama will be p!ssed when after a hard night of partying he comes to Adelaide in the wee hours to find that his key doesn't work. The residents will come back in the next life as cane toads.

 

[peterst6906]

The residents will come back in the next life as cane toads.

Umm...what do you mean 'in the next life'.... (more a dig appropriate for Queenslanders, but if the shoe fits).

 

[Microchip]

While he and his first son were estranged, at least he passed away before Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall. Hopefully whatever pride he may have had in Lance, independent of their relationship, was intact and it brought him some peace.

Dave.

Agreed. Hopefully it did.

 

[Hugh Januss]

If the Fed case is reopened maybe Wonderboy could share a cell with Dad?

http://mugshot-catalog.com/booking/118901/Eddie-Gunderson

Doubtful. "Sonny" died 25 June 2012.

Say what you want about people getting what they deserve, the difference in those two photos taken 21 months apart is pretty chilling.

Especially if you, like me are older than the guy in the pics. Probably being Lance's dad took it's toll.

 

[skidmark]

Lance just go the keys to Adelaide yanked from his pocket. One city down how many to take their keys back

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/armstrong-to-be-stripped-of-his-keys-to-adelaide

Oh man, I first read that the Dalai Lama had sold his key on ebay for $94 000.

 

[pepcalais]

"ode to lance"

There once was a rider named Lance,
Who never had much of a chance
He then took the drugs,
Made them all look like mugs
Then won seven Tours De France

 

[Surfdelux]

Very funny, its a "limmerick", so hopefully wont be lost on the mcquaids!

 

[Basecase]

There once was a firm called Trek,
They sold a bike and took the cheque,
When they saw young Lance,
They knew he could dance,
So they just thought what the heck!

 

[peterst6906]

There once was a rider named Lance,
Who never had much of a chance
He then took the drugs,
Made them all look like mugs
Then won seven Tours De France

Then along came a brave Travis Tygart,
who said 'something's wrong, I feel it in my gut",
made all the riders confess,
'cept Lance, who wouldn't be put to the test,
but now has the same tours as I've got.

 

[Cloxxki]

Once, in a town called Girona
the grass fed mad bulls like Pamplona
they rode their Trek bikes
the press exclaimed "yikes!"
but crowned him the bike Maradonna

 

[Basecase]

There once was a girl named Kik,
who was fond of a bike riders lick,
But she didn't know much,
She just kept in touch,
Shes runs and still goes quick

 

[Basecase]

There once was a guy called Jensie,
Lately he's been on the defensie,
He comes from the block,
He knows how to rock,
He puts his fans in a frenzy

 

[Cloxxki]

There once was the clan of McQuaid
who stole, lied, sued and betrayed
they basically acted like jerks
spoke rhetorics like Merckx
their existence was one big charade

 

[IFRider]

Shall I compare thee to a Libyan dictator?
Thou art more Irish and more temperamental.
Rough lawyers list the things I shall not say
And cycling's future hath all too short a date.

 

[pepcalais]

Lol didnt think of McQuaid
Some funny replies here

 

[IFRider]

There once was a rider called ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
Who ▀▀▀▀▀▀ with ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ on ▀▀▀▀▀▀
When ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ went to ▀▀▀▀▀▀
He ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀'d his ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
And the ▀▀▀ turned a blind eye as usual

 

[pepcalais]

There once was a Mr McQuaid
for his services he was well paid
as can be seen
the sport isnt clean
now look at the mess he has made

 

[Cloxxki]

There once was a Mr McQuaid
for his services he was well paid
as can be seen
the sport isnt clean
now look at the mess he has made

I also went with "paid" at first

Let's make a bunch more (do try to get the limerick metrum right) and then present them in one long drinking song. Ideally, each verse would tell a part of the whole tale.

 

[Robert21]

There once was a rider called Lance,
He said "I don't dope, they just hate me in France".
To his fans he was an affirmation of the 'American Way',
And it's true he would bully and threaten those who weren't in his pay.
But faith is blind and his disciples lived in a trance.

 

[GazelleFormula]

There once was a rider called ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
Who ▀▀▀▀▀▀ with ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ on ▀▀▀▀▀▀
When ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ went to ▀▀▀▀▀▀
He ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀'d his ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
And the ▀▀▀ turned a blind eye as usual

Cleverrrrr! +1