relative impact of offensive terms

[Luke Schmid]

just to further the discussion: what about using the word "kill" for defeat as someone brought up earlier? most people would agree that "kill" is worse than "rape". yet, everyone knows this is not literal. perhaps the difference is "kill" is not very specific while "rape" conjures up definite images of violence. on the other hand, "crush" is also used as a synonym for defeat and it is specific. what, if anything, makes rape different?

i don't want to orphan this topic, so perhaps it would be good to move to this forum blows. quote this and click on the link and we can continue this there if you are interested.

I don't know why I have not objected to kill in a similar way, I guess a sign I am not consistent. Crush, thrash, whipped and even beat do have violent meanings I guess. Maybe I cannot sustain my objection and my objection has no basis except it was new to me. Still I cannot see why it needs to be used and as others have voiced objections, some which seem alot stronger than mine, then it might be worth everyone considering whether they should use it or not in the future. If a poster uses it in other parts of their life regularly it might not be that easy to stop using it here.

 

[gregod]

I don't know why I have not objected to kill in a similar way, I guess a sign I am not consistent. Crush, thrash, whipped and even beat do have violent meanings I guess. Maybe I cannot sustain my objection and my objection has no basis except it was new to me. Still I cannot see why it needs to be used and as others have voiced objections, some which seem alot stronger than mine, then it might be worth everyone considering whether they should use it or not in the future. If a poster uses it in other parts of their life regularly it might not be that easy to stop using it here.

"a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" ralph waldo emerson

i agree. i don't know why it is different, but it is different. the best answer i can come up with is kind of unsatisfactory. "rape" is different from the others because it has not come into common usage yet. the more it is used, the less offensive it will become.

i remember lucille ball used to tell a story: while making her show "i love lucy" she got pregnant with little ricky. this was unheard of at that time on TV. the censors wanted her to take a hiatus, but as it was a very popular show the producers (of which ms. ball was one) reached an agreement with the censors. on the show, the word "pregnant" was never to be used. it was considered "too sexual".

these days, can you imagine anyone objecting to "pregnant"?

 

[Spare Tyre]

As a woman, my experience of life has been shaped considerably by fear of rape. It constrains freedom in obvious, subtle and often unconscious ways. How risky is going to a particular place or doing a particular thing likely to be? Over time some of it becomes automatic and unconscious. Particular places or actions are no longer even considered.

I have three friends who have told me of their experiences with rape. One had a knife held to her neck whilst being raped by a stranger or, more accurately, a very new acquaintance. One was raped by a relative and one was raped by a friend. Rape can come from strangers, acquaintances, relatives and friends. That's just about the gamut of the social world, isn't it?

Each of these women had been a close friend for many years before they mentioned their experience. I had thought I knew all the important elements and history of their lives. They were all obviously deeply affected by the experience, even though it had happened 10-20 years earlier.

I have no idea how many other women I know might also have been raped. They are not likely to mention it.

This conversation has prompted me to think about the ways in which violence, conquest and the assertion of power shapes our language. My initial feeling is that it's quite a male thing.

Perhaps I am naive, but I do not similarly live in fear of violent death. I was once held up at gun-point and on that occasion I certainly felt afraid I would die, so I know it can happen. But the odds of it are extremely low.

For me there is a significant difference between the figurative use of the words 'killed' and 'rape' for this reason.

 

[gregod]

As a woman, my experience of life has been shaped considerably by fear of rape. It constrains freedom in obvious, subtle and often unconscious ways. How risky is going to a particular place or doing a particular thing likely to be? Over time some of it becomes automatic and unconscious. Particular places or actions are no longer even considered.

I have three friends who have told me of their experiences with rape. One had a knife held to her neck whilst being raped by a stranger or, more accurately, a very new acquaintance. One was raped by a relative and one was raped by a friend. Rape can come from strangers, acquaintances, relatives and friends. That's just about the gamut of the social world, isn't it?

Each of these women had been a close friend for many years before they mentioned their experience. I had thought I knew all the important elements and history of their lives. They were all obviously deeply affected by the experience, even though it had happened 10-20 years earlier.

I have no idea how many other women I know might also have been raped. They are not likely to mention it.

This conversation has prompted me to think about the ways in which violence, conquest and the assertion of power shapes our language. My initial feeling is that it's quite a male thing.

Perhaps I am naive, but I do not similarly live in fear of violent death. I was once held up at gun-point and on that occasion I certainly felt afraid I would die, so I know it can happen. But the odds of it are extremely low.

For me there is a significant difference between the figurative use of the words 'killed' and 'rape' for this reason.

i think this is pretty much the definitive statement against its use. as long as this word has the power to provoke such a response in a plurality, one should remain circumspect in its usage.

permit me to pose a hypothetical question to you. first, let me stipulate that it is offensive to most women and a significant but smaller number of men. but what if the word was only offensive to you or a very small minority? substitute the word in question for "chewing gum". due to a childhood experience, even the words send chills up my spine. i literally cannot even be in the same room with a cud chomper. it really does have that effect on me. in this case, would you object to its usage, where its offensiveness is limited to a few?

 

[Spare Tyre]

i think this is pretty much the definitive statement against its use. as long as this word has the power to provoke such a response in a plurality, one should remain circumspect in its usage.

permit me to pose a hypothetical question to you. first, let me stipulate that it is offensive to most women and a significant but smaller number of men. but what if the word was only offensive to you or a very small minority? substitute the word in question for "chewing gum". due to a childhood experience, even the words send chills up my spine. i literally cannot even be in the same room with a cud chomper. it really does have that effect on me. in this case, would you object to its usage, where its offensiveness is limited to a few?

Re the hypothetical: I think it would be reasonable to expect people you have told in RL to be sensitive to the trauma re-triggered by exposure to chewing gum. I don't think it is reasonable to expect people who have no knowledge of such a thing to anticipate such a reaction. In the anonymous, often callous world of cyberspace I doubt mentioning such a trauma would be enough to rein in comments or to prompt much sensitivity. You would possibly be subject to ridicule.

Rape, on the other hand, is known to everyone. (Although it seems some people understand the devastating nature of it rather better than others.)

 

[gregod]

Re the hypothetical: I think it would be reasonable to expect people you have told in RL to be sensitive to the trauma re-triggered by exposure to chewing gum. I don't think it is reasonable to expect people who have no knowledge of such a thing to anticipate such a reaction. In the anonymous, often callous world of cyberspace I doubt mentioning such a trauma would be enough to rein in comments or to prompt much sensitivity. You would possibly be subject to ridicule.

Rape, on the other hand, is known to everyone. (Although it seems some people understand the devastating nature of it rather better than others.)

bold: i used to ask people (some knew of my peculiarity and some didn't) as nicely and politely as i could to refrain from chewing gum around me or at least do it as quietly as possible. do you know what reaction i got? every single person proceeded to chew as obnoxiously as possible. i gave up on expecting people to accommodate me and either grit my teeth and bear it or leave the room.

what is it in human nature that people get enjoyment out of willfully inflicting trauma on others or watching people in pain?

 

[Boeing]

And the word porn alone is offensive and singled into one strict context.

Can we not use the term Bike Porn here in this forum? Or is it relegated strictly to the adult industry and the abusive nature in which we view women? after all that is human nature and our sole intent when posting it. Right?

Is is what is said that is the problem or who said it here?

Or is it the one reading it with the problem.

In all examples on this topic OP included I defer to the latter

here is a word for you MYOPIA

 

[ChrisE]

I think "rape" is mostly associated with attacks on a specific group, ie women. "Kill" for example could be anybody.

I suggest we make "rape" gender neutral. Instead of "rape" we should use the term "non-consentual anal entry" to lessent the stigma.

 

[usedtobefast]

if you, or someone is "killed" they/you don't get a chance of discussing the the
political correctness of it later.

 

[hrotha]

I think "rape" is mostly associated with attacks on a specific group, ie women. "Kill" for example could be anybody.

I suggest we make "rape" gender neutral. Instead of "rape" we should use the term "non-consentual anal entry" to lessent the stigma.

The technical term is "surprise buttsex."

 

[Semper Fidelis]

I think "rape" is mostly associated with attacks on a specific group, ie women. "Kill" for example could be anybody.

I suggest we make "rape" gender neutral. Instead of "rape" we should use the term "non-consentual anal entry" to lessent the stigma.

I have seen this phrase used around on other message boards. FOR example I was on a gun / weapon forum and observed a discussion regarding Hand Guns. This guy on there had a monkey named Elton John and His partner and he felt intimidated while traveling across the country with their monkey Elton. It was a truly sad story.

 

[ChrisE]

I have seen this phrase used around on other message boards. FOR example I was on a gun / weapon forum and observed a discussion regarding Hand Guns. This guy on there had a monkey named Elton John and His partner and he felt intimidated while traveling across the country with their monkey Elton. It was a truly sad story.

What a coincidence, I read that as well. Didn't some locals somewhere get ****ed about Elton throwing food around a restaurant? They used to go to art shows I think. Interesting story.

 

[Martin318is]

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PLEASE READ


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This thread sits right on the edge of acceptable and it is essential that you keep this in mind when posting in it. I have had to delete several offtopic posts already.

Let me make this clear - Think very carefully before posting in this thread. It was created to allow for a discussion that arose in the moderators thread and it is NOT an excuse to play 'lets beat the language filter', etc. Any immature post in this thread will lead to a minimum of a 24hr suspension of your account. This includes off topic posting.

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If anyone has a query regarding this, raise it directly with me or in the moderators thread.

 

[ElChingon]

Offensive and non-offensive terms is a hugely debated issue and changes in time. Ever generation has their list of offensive words and new generations turns them upside down which in tern generate new offensive terms and then those also are turned upside down. Sure, some remain for a long time but these days we have all seen even very old terms become very common place in regular vocabulary by the new generation. For example the term for a female dog has been beat to death and is used for basically anything and everything, out of context, to offend and to show respect or a commonality between friends . Then the old one used by plantation owners in the US for their permanently indentured servants (how you like that one!), it is repeated so many times in rap music that has become very much a part of the new generation that they use the word much like the rappers do even if it does not apply or was not meant to apply to them.

Any word that is considered offensive by someone will yield it to be used more often just because of that, as some seek a way to offend and a word is the easiest way to do that. If people never reacted to those words in the first place they'd be dumped. Just look at the words used in old movies that are never used in today's vocabulary, they lost their sting so they were forgotten for a more offensive or word that would create a reaction.

So posters will continue to use words to create a reaction and those who see themselves as representative of that word as they read a post will take offense if the word provokes their brain in an offensive way. It mainly means the poster of the word has hit the nerve with that reader, acknowledging that offense will only cause it to repeat or be added to the list of offensive words. If the reader could work through it, it would cause that word or phrase to be forgotten, but then again being able to work through it is the up to the reader and where the issue arises.