Signs that your new cycling partner is going to be a problem

[boomcie]

- When he constantly touches you intimately and whispers: "it's okay".

- When he joins you in the shower and washes your genitalia while claiming that is not something you should be doing yourself.

- Asks if you also have to pee, you say no. He says me neither.

- When he “happens” to end up with his fist up your rectum after each crash.

 

[ElChingon]

- When he joins you in the shower and washes your genitalia while claiming that is not something you should be doing yourself.

He's only making sure you got all that shammy cream off

 

[ustabe]

Not even for the echo effect Kill Joy's!

Especially not even for the echo effect. Damned straight.

 

[Quixote]

-

- When he “happens” to end up with his fist up your rectum after each crash.

"Each" crash would imply that you ended up in this position previously. I, for one, would have drawn the line at the first crash...no means no!

 

[nobilis]

When, riding in 2 lines, he's the one next to me and insists on riding between the 2 wheels in front of him, leaving me in the middle of the road.

 

[ustabe]

When, riding in 2 lines, he's the one next to me and insists on riding between the 2 wheels in front of him, leaving me in the middle of the road.

Hey, I know that one, too.

Got another one. Follows you around all day, then attacks on a hill, then blows up and stops pedaling without first pulling off.

 

[nobilis]

He takes a simulated Tri-bars position in the middle of the bunch

 

[ElChingon]

He takes a simulated Tri-bars position in the middle of the bunch

Or at anytime on the bike (for some of the haters in the STBP thread).

 

[lukinox]

Ok, I'll play.

When he turns up with tyres that are worn through to the threads, proceeds to puncture within the first ten miles and doesn't know how to change an inner tube. And then punctures a further five times more in the same ride. And in the following week he turns up with the same set of tyres.

Did that really happen to you? I laughed when I read this, but I bet you weren't laughing when it happened to you (if it did really happen)

 

[LongSprint]

And then punctures a further five times more in the same ride. And in the following week he turns up with the same set of tyres.

Ouch! I've done that - or maybe it was six times. Anyway, not my fault. It was dud rim tape.

 

[Parrulo]

when every time you go on a ride less then 3 hours after lunch he vomits all of it half way up the first hill.


it happened 3 times already

 

[ElChingon]

when every time you go on a ride less then 3 hours after lunch he vomits all of it half way up the first hill.

it happened 3 times already

When you both fill on the free sample super drink of the year at the local bike shop that's hocking the product, he throws it up later on a random section of the ride because he's not compatible with this new mix...

 

[Martin318is]

when every time you go on a ride less then 3 hours after lunch he vomits all of it half way up the first hill.


it happened 3 times already

LOL - I used to do that at the start of every morning training ride until I realised it was the milk I was using on my cereal. To be fair though, it generally happened so early that it was before I had even met up with the training bunch...

 

[eljimberino]

Takes off when you stop to pee. Afterwards boasts about his great time and how he's in good form for his next race.

 

[LongSprint]

Brings along a copy of "It's Not About the Bike" to read during the ride.

 

[MarkvW]

Brings along a copy of "It's Not About the Bike" to read during the ride.

. . . or reads anything during the ride.

 

[blaxland]

When you take off on a training ride he/she takes more than 500mtrs to clip his shoe in to his pedals.