Slowest Rider to Test Positive?

[Anonymous]

DHEA is awesome - if you're a post-menopausal woman...

My wife is nearing that point, close enough?

 

[Race Radio]

We should hold off on this award until all of Joe's list is out. I would not be surprised if our favorite "Cat 3 equivalent" is on there.

 

[Cloxxki]

I bet there's people out there doping for club rides. Not even having a racing license.

Back when I mostly rode with a club (off-road arrowed tours), not races, it was pretty important to me to be the first to make it back to the truck and vans, preferably well out of sight from #2. I endured more lactic acid for that kind of riding than for top-10 in national Sports events.

 

[Anonymous]

We should hold off on this award until all of Joe's list is out. I would not be surprised if our favorite "Cat 3 equivalent" is on there.

Ahhh yes, Jackhammer the Cat 3 Cyclotourist.

 

[The Bald Eagle]

The slowest rider's that have tested positive are them all. Why? Because When I say slow I mean they are slow in their Head's. Like Intelligent Quotient's of about 70 for doping in the first place. And a score of Zero when they are caught.!!

 

[The Hitch]

I nominate Leonardo Piepoli who was busted for CERA - he is a diminutive mountain climber extraordinare, but not so speedy in the flats. He was Lanterne Rouge of the 2005 Tour de France for the first 3 consecutive stages.

Crossing the finishing line on the Zonc with Gibo, and giving Gibi the win, is an impressive feat.

 

[The Bald Eagle]

How about the poor guy who was struck by a bolt of lightening while on a bike. He was "positively" charged.

 

[Fowsto Cope-E]

Velonews has that add for testostorone at the back. My vote goes to anyone ordered that stuff

 

[usedtobefast]

Me. I'd totally get popped for DHEA if I were to race and test now, and I would have to race citizen at this point.

Funny though, yesterday as I was commuting to school, some douche came flying by about 100 feet past a stoplight and almost brushed my arm in doing so. He was riding some common brand carbon bike, and didn't speak to warn me he was overtaking or even give a wave as went by. I think he was surprised when I pulled up to him on a mountain bike with slicks and rode his pull for awhile. I would have pulled up beside and made nicey nicey talk, but I was on mtn bike gearing, had 30 pounds of case books on my back, and he seemed more interested in looking like a fast guy roadie too cool for you douchewhistle, so I just sucked his wheel. Then when faced with shooting across 10 feet of dirt and taking the long way around or stopping for the light, I went for the scenic route and he took the stoplight option (I guess because he didn't want to puncture those pretty little Conti's). Anyway, I decided to keep the pressure on the pedals as I was feeling pretty good...he didn't catch me again.

I can't stand people who don't wave.

here in my town waving just puts you in jeopardy. too many riders. a nod or a hand raise maybe. i can't stand people who are jogging and somehow think you should wave to them. sorry, i have other concerns.

 

[JMBeaushrimp]

Although not American, I spent a lot of time training in Southern California. Can't beat the weather...

This was a regular occurence - out for a ride, see a few guys (obviously training) going the other way, and I'd raise my hand to them. Nothing. No response...

It got to the point that I'd wave, wait for a response, if none... then I'd finger them when they were right accross from me/us. At least I got a response...

With what I've learnt since then, I'd bet they were masters who were too concerned with sticking to their latest dope-addled training program rather than add to some friendly solidarity on a continent that's not bike-friendly.

Does anyone else think that these rich fu*ckers should be giving a bit more back to the sport rather than getting all the latest gear, loading it into their $70k SUV, and heading out to validate themselves at the latest weekend warrior race/ride?

How about funding some junior race programs?

 

[Anonymous]

here in my town waving just puts you in jeopardy. too many riders. a nod or a hand raise maybe. i can't stand people who are jogging and somehow think you should wave to them. sorry, i have other concerns.

By wave, I just mean a hand raise. I am from the south, we just do that here. The biggest thing was that he blew by so closely (almost hit my arm) without a warning. I really did enjoy him looking back to see a commuter on his wheel while he was big ringing, looking all cool and stuff.

 

[Anonymous]

Although not American, I spent a lot of time training in Southern California. Can't beat the weather...

This was a regular occurence - out for a ride, see a few guys (obviously training) going the other way, and I'd raise my hand to them. Nothing. No response...

It got to the point that I'd wave, wait for a response, if none... then I'd finger them when they were right accross from me/us. At least I got a response...

With what I've learnt since then, I'd bet they were masters who were too concerned with sticking to their latest dope-addled training program rather than add to some friendly solidarity on a continent that's not bike-friendly.

Does anyone else think that these rich fu*ckers should be giving a bit more back to the sport rather than getting all the latest gear, loading it into their $70k SUV, and heading out to validate themselves at the latest weekend warrior race/ride?

How about funding some junior race programs?

This is America where duty to your fellow man is considered a vice...unfortunately.

When I shot up beside him to take the long way around, I spit (not on or at him). That's southern for "f**k you."

 

[Oldman]

Although not American, I spent a lot of time training in Southern California. Can't beat the weather...

This was a regular occurence - out for a ride, see a few guys (obviously training) going the other way, and I'd raise my hand to them. Nothing. No response...

It got to the point that I'd wave, wait for a response, if none... then I'd finger them when they were right accross from me/us. At least I got a response...

With what I've learnt since then, I'd bet they were masters who were too concerned with sticking to their latest dope-addled training program rather than add to some friendly solidarity on a continent that's not bike-friendly.

Does anyone else think that these rich fu*ckers should be giving a bit more back to the sport rather than getting all the latest gear, loading it into their $70k SUV, and heading out to validate themselves at the latest weekend warrior race/ride?

How about funding some junior race programs?

We're veering off topic a bit but I wholeheartedly agree. I've seen more rich, venal Masters arguing over sponsor dollars that should be spun to a junior program or something else. One Cat 3 Master asked at the first race planning meeting I attended why the team wasn't paying for hotel rooms at the stage races? My comment: "how many finished the last stage race?" No hands rose and I left that team quickly.

 

[Joey_J]

How about our resident "doper/dealer", Joe Papp?
the guy was on a PED program that would make Dr Ferrari blush and what'd he win? A stage in the Turkey Tour.
He should be the poster child for why you shouldn't dope, for many reasons.

 

[Juicy McDrip]

Yeah, but the other guy got 8th in a State Crit champ. in a part of the world where there were only 8 starters in his class, and we don't even know if it was masters or elite. It doesn't really matter though as it was pointed out that 8th was also DFL. One should not have to dope to finish last, if you do then you are
doing it wrong.
He is the winner, Chodroff at least was sucking against some real competition.

You make a compelling case. So many great choices! OK...I can go with 8th place (possibly DFL) State Crit guy. But I want Chodroff on the podium with crit-rash.

 

[Juicy McDrip]

Although not American, I spent a lot of time training in Southern California. Can't beat the weather...

This was a regular occurence - out for a ride, see a few guys (obviously training) going the other way, and I'd raise my hand to them. Nothing. No response...

It got to the point that I'd wave, wait for a response, if none... then I'd finger them when they were right accross from me/us. At least I got a response...

With what I've learnt since then, I'd bet they were masters who were too concerned with sticking to their latest dope-addled training program rather than add to some friendly solidarity on a continent that's not bike-friendly.

Does anyone else think that these rich fu*ckers should be giving a bit more back to the sport rather than getting all the latest gear, loading it into their $70k SUV, and heading out to validate themselves at the latest weekend warrior race/ride?

How about funding some junior race programs?

Please relax, non-American whiner!

Only a small percentage of Masters dope. And they're fools...just like all juicers at any level.

People who don't wave back at you may be intimidated by your bike and speed-costume. Or they may be total jerks. Or you may be searching for some silly issue to get angry about. I see these kooks too. Point and laugh at them! Save the anger for the cars that smash into you.

Regarding the dolts driving $70K...sorry. But many people have lots of money and there's always someone richer than you. Like me for example. I'm richer than you. And maybe some of thiose non-wavers are richer than you and me combined. No worries. They'll always be kooks.

And finally...Masters should fund Junior race programs? Why? Seriously... Why? Maybe they should feed starving african kids, or cure aids, or many other fine options. But you think they're jerks for not doing more for Junior racers? Ask Oprah Winfrey or Bill Gates or Tom Boonen why they don't peel off some dough and fund Junior racing...

Here's a novel idea: Maybe the Juniors' daddies should be funding the programs and working with clubs to find sponsors and have development programs.

You're a foul ball, dude! That's Amurican slang, btw.

 

[Oldman]

Please relax, non-American whiner!

Only a small percentage of Masters dope. And they're fools...just like all juicers at any level.

People who don't wave back at you may be intimidated by your bike and speed-costume. Or they may be total jerks. Or you may be searching for some silly issue to get angry about. I see these kooks too. Point and laugh at them! Save the anger for the cars that smash into you.

Regarding the dolts driving $70K...sorry. But many people have lots of money and there's always someone richer than you. Like me for example. I'm richer than you. And maybe some of thiose non-wavers are richer than you and me combined. No worries. They'll always be kooks.

And finally...Masters should fund Junior race programs? Why? Seriously... Why? Maybe they should feed starving african kids, or cure aids, or many other fine options. But you think they're jerks for not doing more for Junior racers? Ask Oprah Winfrey or Bill Gates or Tom Boonen why they don't peel off some dough and fund Junior racing...

Here's a novel idea: Maybe the Juniors' daddies should be funding the programs and working with clubs to find sponsors and have development programs.

You're a foul ball, dude! That's Amurican slang, btw.

Yeah, see; that's where the Masters that seem to be able to claim the available sponsor money come into play. They help out instead of posturing about the bike frame deal they got because they pretend to be serious racers. Dads and Moms are spending serious time and money to get their kids outfitted, transported and educated while USA Cycling and everyone else stands on the sidelines. The well-heeled Masters should be embarassed that they take any money from a sponsor pool without supporting the younger set.

 

[HoustonHammer]

There are Cat 1's and other "no name" riders who have come up positive. Riders that are rarely heard of. How fast really was Mitch Comardo before he popped positive?

Bing bing bing! I was just going to nominate Mitch. He definitely wins this one. Got popped for a laundry list of junk, including women's cancer drugs. If I remember right, he came up on USADA's radar after winning a Cat 1 race in N. Carolina or something. They tested him ooc and down he went.

 

[sublimit]

By wave, I just mean a hand raise. I am from the south, we just do that here. The biggest thing was that he blew by so closely (almost hit my arm) without a warning. I really did enjoy him looking back to see a commuter on his wheel while he was big ringing, looking all cool and stuff.

I'm always getting burned off riding to work by people using fixed gear bikes while I'm riding an undergeared dog-heavy mountain bike and its irritating..You feel helpless. The gears are so low you cant do **** all.

I get hacked off but have my revenge when i get on a road bike with proper gear ratios. Picking off triathletes going full bore is a lot of fun during training. Slaughter of the innocents.