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Someone on twitter worth following:

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Anonymous

Guest
I love: "I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept."
 
Jul 9, 2009
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Thoughtforfood said:
I love: "I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept."

They are all great, but I think the most philosophical, and so my favorite is this one:
Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
or
"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop *****ing, or no strawberry, that's the deal."
 
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Anonymous

Guest
and this philosophical gem: "The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."
 
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Anonymous

Guest
this is priceless..

"You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again after your bullshit dies out over someone else's house."
 
Jul 9, 2009
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What about the ultimate parental solution to the question of whether or not the dog is allowed in the house:
The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside."
This guy is the greatest.
 
Jun 16, 2009
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I suspect the Dad must be a cycling fan...

"****ing Radio Shack. It's a wonder they even know how to use a bathroom and don't just walk around all day with **** in their pants."

:eek:
 
Mar 17, 2009
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This guys dad is so good that i have him on my speed dial/homepage thingy on my Opera web browser. (Pls read the IE or Firefox thread if you don't understand)

I guess it is because the guy is so different and very blunt that i like him and also because he makes me laugh. I usually check it every day to see if he has updated it.

Hey he has put up a new one:

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

Awesome