Stupid stuff you do on a ride.

[Fus087]

Even better is when there is a conversation and you act as if you're not out of breath. I mean it is totally stupid.

And yet, totally human. As said before, everyone does this.

 

[gregod]

The speed limit for 2 wheeled vehicles was lower than the speed limit for vehicles with more wheels? Come on really? There is a place where a transport truck is allowed to go faster than a motorcycle? How does a traffic department justify that? Got to call BS on this one. I just cannot imagine the reason for that. Maybe you were in Nutbush from the Tina Turner song?

phuket, thailand. check it out.

also, singapore and japan (50cc scooter limit is 30KPH-this also applies to bicycles, but is rarely enforced).

 

[The Hitch]

In Warsaw I do a daily tt down this beatufil 5k uninterrupted cycle path

(the bike is a £10 unpumped crooked wheel mountain bike my aunt won in the 80's, which is worth more in scrap metal than it is as a package, so 5k isnt that short tt wise).

Anyway theres nothing worse than being forced to use your breaks when you are fighting for every second.

So when on some occasions indivudals (often family's out for a quite summer bike ride) find themselves deaf to the sound of me pounding my bell so that they can get out of the way, well I go all Cadel Evans on them.

Aint proud of it.

 

[Cobblestoned]

When very special fastfood drive-ins don't serve me, I enter the restaurant by bike.

 

[Polyarmour]

yeah . left my garmin on and put bike in car; and when i got home after a race, i went to check top speed etc, and saw 115kph.

I left mine on in a plane, it cut out at 260km/h and 1000m. That was one helluva climb.

I was riding my bike into the work carpark, the car in front stops on the in-ramp, I have several cars behind. I decide that would be a good time to practice my trackstand. The ramp is wet, dirty and smeared with oil. I fall over and can't unclip. I'm thrashing around like an epileptic trying to unclip while the drivers are watching. Eventually I get up covered in mud and walk off.

 

[RedheadDane]

In Warsaw I do a daily tt down this beatufil 5k uninterrupted cycle path

(the bike is a £10 unpumped crooked wheel mountain bike my aunt won in the 80's, which is worth more in scrap metal than it is as a package, so 5k isnt that short tt wise).

Anyway theres nothing worse than being forced to use your breaks when you are fighting for every second.

So when on some occasions indivudals (often family's out for a quite summer bike ride) find themselves deaf to the sound of me pounding my bell so that they can get out of the way, well I go all Cadel Evans on them.

Aint proud of it.

Wait... are you saying I'm not supposed to race against myself/other people every time I go to class or other things?

 

[ElChingon]

When very special fastfood drive-ins don't serve me, I enter the restaurant by bike.

Why won't they serve you? You bring cash right?

 

[slowingfast]

Dropped Glasses

Here is one of the most stupid things have done on a ride....

The bunch was stopped on the side if the road when someone had punctured on a group ride up the hills. Glasses were sitting in the top of the helmet. As I took the helmet off, the glasses dropped straight down a 10 foot deep roadside drain.

Glasses were brand new prescription and transition lenses.

Told the guys to go on without while I went home and woke the dearly beloved to drive me back to the drain with tools sufficient enough to remove the man hole cover in order to climb into the drain to retrieve the specs.

For my wife the most embarrassing aspect was the strange looks she was getting from riders of another bunch as I was climbing our of the drain....

 

[Boeing]

I was riding Como hungover some years ago way off the back when I hit santiago and Cooks Corner. I realized my tab was still open so I pulled off to close it (yes they were open setting up and servings eggs) and said screw it and had a few beers then called wifey for a ride and she refused. So sat there in spandex with bikers rolling in all morning waiting for the buzz to leave

 

[durianrider]

Some classic stories here. Thanks for sharing gang.

My dumbest ride would be going out for a 20k ride with only 2$ on a hot summers day and ended up riding 100k over hilly terrain and on a mountain bike with sneakers. I had zero idea about hydration and carb intake.

 

[MarkvW]

When very special fastfood drive-ins don't serve me, I enter the restaurant by bike.

Oh gosh! I don't even consider that stupid. I take my bike into places ALL the time when I'm out touring.

 

[RedheadDane]

Oh gosh! I don't even consider that stupid. I take my bike into places ALL the time when I'm out touring.

I once saw a guy take his bike into the hospital (ER)...

 

[Boeing]

When very special fastfood drive-ins don't serve me, I enter the restaurant by bike.

When I was a kid there was a Jack In tHe box that let us ride our bikes through the drive thru.

I tried ita few years ago with my kids at an el Pollo Loco but they got real ****y about it and told us to move on

 

[cabbagetom]

Today on my way home I really embarrassed myself. I cycle home almost every single day, same route, avoiding the same potholes in the road, the same hand signals. The last hand signal is where I stick out my left hand and turn off the main road into my drive. The weather was dreadful this morning so I left my bike at home and took the bus. By the afternoon it had improved so I walked home. I walked the exact same route that I would cycle with the bike. Unfortunately that route is so engrained on my mind that when I reached my driveway I stuck out my left hand. Except this time I was walking on the pavement. There were no cars, only one elderly pedestrian who looked at me and must have thought I was crazy...

 

[elapid]

When I was a little tacker, I wondered what would happen if I stuck my foot in the front wheel. Found out pretty quickly

 

[RedheadDane]

Today on my way home I really embarrassed myself. I cycle home almost every single day, same route, avoiding the same potholes in the road, the same hand signals. The last hand signal is where I stick out my left hand and turn off the main road into my drive. The weather was dreadful this morning so I left my bike at home and took the bus. By the afternoon it had improved so I walked home. I walked the exact same route that I would cycle with the bike. Unfortunately that route is so engrained on my mind that when I reached my driveway I stuck out my left hand. Except this time I was walking on the pavement. There were no cars, only one elderly pedestrian who looked at me and must have thought I was crazy...

Well... this isn't stupid stuff done on a ride. It's stupid stuff when thinking you're riding while you're actually walking.

But. Kinda hillarious!

 

[Cobblestoned]

Why won't they serve you? You bring cash right?

Yeah, and I am driving a vehicle that has to follow StvO.
So I can use the drive-in.

The annoying thing is that they handle it depending on their personal day's form and it also depends on who is working there at the moment.

Anyway, after or during a serious ride, I don't want to enter fastfood restaurants and their greasy floors while doing the duck-walk with cleats. And I don't want to annoy people in there with the sweaty smell of synthetic lycra costumes.

 

[Cobblestoned]

When I was a kid there was a Jack In tHe box that let us ride our bikes through the drive thru.

I tried ita few years ago with my kids at an el Pollo Loco but they got real ****y about it and told us to move on

Don't know any those, but can just establish that several BurgerKings always serve me. Not even the slightest sign of drama.

McDreck has so much variety....variety is not the correct word.
Arbitrariness is the correct description.

 

[Boeing]

On a few occasions I have forgotten to put water bottles in their cages. That sucks when you realize it about an hour into a ride.

that is the worst and a few times I forgot to put the saddlebag back after cleaning bike. never flatted with out it thankfully. forget to clamp calipers too and sometimes depending on adjustment its a tough stop

 

[Maxiton]

Sometimes I do this when I'm feeling a bit evil: I'll spot a guy in front of me on a climb whom I'm catching up with. This guy seems to be on his absolute limit and is showing clear signs of exhaustion, the sweat is dripping and he's breathing loudly. When I get closer I'll calm down the pace a bit, get my breath back before I suddenly start sprinting past him (seated) while trying to look as comfortable as humanly possible - i.e mouth closed, not breathing, looking fairly bored...I can't help it, the desperate look on their exhausted faces is so priceless! Obviously I have to slow down considerably once I'm out of their line of sight as my lungs are burning and I'll have a serious case of oxygen deficiency (-:

I've had this done to me more than once, and always when I thought I was alone on the road. Not fun!

Well that's why I do the counter to that with more success. Pretend to be out of gas and slowly spin waiting for the sucker to pass. Now the best part is I have my drive train to be stealthy quiet even if I coast. As the sucker passes I slip on to their wheel and wait for them to blow up. As they slow I just slip by at their previous pace which they can't maintain any longer. Then slowly increase my speed without showing the increased effort, no standing, no swinging the bike, no noisey shifts just one cog slowly smoothly, never looking back, no moving to the drops. Always making sure there are no stop lights coming up too soon to allow them to catch up if you must stop, if there are any turns you move so as to disappear if possible.

But I've also done this a number of times. This is a lot more fun!

As for the stupidest thing I've done: I tried to run through all the stupid things I've done on or near a bike, but ran out of time. The story that stands out, though, is this:

A number of years back, I used to live at the top of a hill on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. Half way down the hill on the right was a narrow driveway that led into a church parking lot. This was the only place to turn off before you reached the busy intersection at the bottom of the hill. I used to love climbing that hill to get home, and flying down it whenever I left the house.

One day, I'd just finished doing something to my bike in the yard. I don't remember now what it was, but whatever it was, I was excited to try it out - and this is where the stupid part comes in. I didn't bother reconnecting the front brake after putting the wheel on. I still have a back brake, I thought. I'll just go for a little spin.

I jump on the bike, go down my drive way, turn onto the road and start furiously pedaling down the hill. Holy crap, I think, that intersection is coming up fast, I'd better apply a little brake. Imagine my surprise when I tap the rear brake lever and there is no brake! On the previous day I'd disconnected the rear brake for maintenance and forgotten about it.

So now I'm absolutely screaming down this hill and I have to decide - like, right now - what to do. Do I, A) shoot through the intersection and the light that just turned red, hoping I can somehow slip between those flying cars; or, B) lay the bike down and take a little road rash; or, C) in about one second from now make the tightest, fastest right hand turn I've ever tried and slip into that church parking lot?

I go for C and in doing so get the bike lower to the ground than I thought possible. I'm pretty happy with that maneuver, and now I'm in the parking lot! only to realize that the parking lot is tiny and surrounded on all sides by cars and a big brick wall - which is coming up fast. At that point I have no choice and lay the bike down - right on the front shorts pocket where the house keys are. It was a painful next few days. There was a lot of road rash and soreness and bruising, and those keys made a big, bloody impression on my leg, but I felt kind of lucky to be in one piece, more or less.

This was only one of many misadventures I had on bikes, before I knew anything really about how to ride and what not to do. I'm just glad I survived it. Enthusiasm and stupidity is a dangerous combination.

 

[nobilis]

There is something that happened to me several times, before the ride. I'm all decked-up in my cycling clothes, ready for the ride, close the door of the appartment, and before reaching the stairs, I remember that I left the bike in the appartment

One time i was commuting to work by bike and had a flat, only to find out that i forgot my tire levers. Good thing I had a spoon with me

And of course, among the previously mentionned stuff, I gorgot once to bring bidons, and once, i headed to the startline of a race wearing my running shoes (but i had just the time to go back to the car and change)

 

[Caruut]

Of course I've forgotten pumps/patches/tubes/levers, along with bottles for a big ride ride and the like.

My best "stupid things on a ride" story wasn't me, sadly. One of my cousins is a really good runner, and decided to start doing triathlon. We live in the same town, though he's about 12 years older than me. I was seeing a girl in the village he grew up in (and where his parents still live) just outside the town. He works long hours and didn't really know his neighbours very well then, so got the bike delivered to his parents' house.

Now, after picking the bike up, it was to be his first ever ride clipless. Meanwhile, I'm just riding up the road to see this girl, and I see a guy on a bike stop to pull out into this one. But, he doesn't put his foot down at all, just slowly topples over. I ride up, and say "You alright, mate?", and then we both realise who the other one is. He obviously thought he'd gotten away with it with just a scraped knee and no embarrassment at first, but there was a big family barbeque the next weekend. So he did not.

 

[rhubroma]

Perhaps already cited, but coming to a stop and forgetting to take my foot out of the clip.

Remember the Springstein song : Go'in down, down, down, down; I'm go'in down, down down....

 

[ninja.]

On my trainer when I get bored I sit up and dance like a freak... It's so fun!

And I always forget to unclip.

 

[ggusta]

breaking self imposed ban

along with the stupidity of breaking the ban,

I also speed up when I am not on the road alone, meaning if there are cars, pedestrians, people outside at their houses, other cyclists I will go faster out of some stupid sense of pride or whatever.

I also leave the little 'nut' washers on my valve stems but unscrew them to the very VERY last thread of the stem because I believe that when they are screwed down to the rim they create unnecessary tension in the tube on each rotation. People see my 'nuts' unscrewed and are always either screwing them down as a favor to me or reminding me to screw them down. Then I either have to explain to them why I do this, to which they look at me with a range of expressions ranging from puzzlement to horror or just say 'Oh, yeah' and act like it was my error so I don't have to explain that I am in fact a stark raving lunatic pretending to blend in with the non-obsessive world. I started doing this early on in my riding career when I got a flat from a tube going flat and a buddy suggested the tube went flat from that rotational tension being created by the stem washer being screwed down. And yes, I also can explain why I just don't throw the nuts away like most people.

Martin, I am now resuming ban and ceasing my incessant skandarteering.