The Official Lance-Oprah Excuse Contest

[blackcat]

Any bets on home much fake tan?

well, he may as well go in blackface and minstrel garm, cos he has similar credibility

 

[thehog]

well, he may as well go in blackface and minstrel garm, cos he has similar credibility

I predict; white open neck shirt, fake tan, dyed black hair. Photos of family around the couch. Yellow jersey's proudly hanging on the wall. Teeth capped and whitened. Flowers, most likely carnations next tot the sofa.

 

[mewmewmew13]

I predict; white open neck shirt, fake tan, dyed black hair. Photos of family around the couch. Yellow jersey's proudly hanging on the wall. Teeth capped and whitened. Flowers, most likely carnations next tot the sofa.

Anna sitting next to him at start of convo.
Black hair?

 

[Swifty's Cakes]

I predict; white open neck shirt, fake tan, dyed black hair. Photos of family around the couch. Yellow jersey's proudly hanging on the wall. Teeth capped and whitened. Flowers, most likely carnations next tot the sofa.

Currently at 3/1 with Paddy Power. I'm all over it.

 

[Fortyninefourteen]

I predict; white open neck shirt, fake tan, dyed black hair. Photos of family around the couch. Yellow jersey's proudly hanging on the wall. Teeth capped and whitened. Flowers, most likely carnations next tot the sofa.

And a big bowl of pork rinds for O.....

 

[thehog]

Anna sitting next to him at start of convo.
Black hair?

Going for the colors of the priesthood.

We need the kids running in and jumping on his lap at some point.

Yes and Anna holding his hand tight, standing by her man, telling us how bad some of the journalists have been to "our" Lance.

And a dog. Everyone loves fluffy dogs.

Mom needs to make an appearance. We need Mom. Someone get Mom in here.

 

[Oldman]

I'm still going with: "I did it for recovery at first but won on my own natural skill" and "the comeback was about getting more support for Cancer Awareness. I was willing to sacrifice my own health for the greater good and I owed it to my team, sponsors..." He's going to stand up a cross and dare Oprah to nail him to it.

 

[D-Queued]

tis a nice drop

Good one!!

Going for the colors of the priesthood.

We need the kids running in and jumping on his lap at some point.

Yes and Anna holding his hand tight, standing by her man, telling us how bad some of the journalists have been to "our" Lance.

And a dog. Everyone loves fluffy dogs.

Mom needs to make an appearance. We need Mom. Someone get Mom in here.

Yup.

Oprah: Do you feel bad Lance?

Lance: Yes, real bad.

Oprah: Do you want to say you're sorry Lance?

Lance: Yes. Sniff.

Oprah: Let's ask your mom if she forgives you. Do you forgive Lance?

Mom: Yes.

...without ever actually having to say sorry...

Dave.

 

[DirtyWorks]

Oprah: Let's ask your mom if she forgives you. Do you forgive Lance?

Mom: Yes.

...without ever actually having to say sorry...

Dave.

I still contend this interview like most negotiated appearances was 98% scripted already. That's multi-factor creepiness and brilliant. Yuck. Which is why it was probably taped.

The right thing for Oprah to do would have been to screw the agreement and turn it into a 60 Minutes hit piece. That's the only thing I'd watch.

Hopefully, it will not be the start of some revenue generating appearances and no media sources are fooled.

 

[BroDeal]

 

[Holtend]

Having just read a piece that suggested all the EPO in his samples was synthetic... because he had doped so much his body had stopped producing it naturally.
Is there anyway he could turn it around and say the cancer stopped his body producing EPO, so he had to take it in order to live or compete on a level playing field?
Or is that way too far fetched?

 

[hektoren]

Few names, dates and places will be given. It will all be about Lance Armstrong.

Oh, I'm good! According to Wall Street Journal: "Mr. Armstrong told friends and relatives he would not talk about others, only himself, and he would not get into specifics."

I deserve that drink now, and'll continue the drinking game come thursday night...

 

[doperhopper]

OK, cheater, but THE BEST! Cheated cancer, cheated 500+ tests.
I do everything to be the best, when tri/cycling was about training, I trained the best, when it was about doping, I doped the best.

And Oprah rings the bell and the Golden Needle award comittee comes to the podium to give him big yellow "dopestrong" syringe, applause, everybody crying, happyend.

 

[thehog]

OK, cheater, but THE BEST! Cheated cancer, cheated 500+ tests.
I do everything to be the best, when tri/cycling was about training, I trained the best, when it was about doping, I doped the best.

And Oprah rings the bell and the Golden Needle award comittee comes to the podium to give him big yellow "dopestrong" syringe, applause, everybody crying, happyend.

Now he's trying to confess the best. I'm the best confessor. Look at me!

 

[S2Sturges]

I'm still going with: "I did it for recovery at first but won on my own natural skill" and "the comeback was about getting more support for Cancer Awareness. I was willing to sacrifice my own health for the greater good and I owed it to my team, sponsors..." He's going to stand up a cross and dare Oprah to nail him to it.

Well according to a recent article, Oprah has been boning up on things with David Walsh and Betsy Andreu.. she'd give herself some massive cred if she stood toe to toe with him and gave him both barrels..But I doubt it, many of the other posters have far better scenarios than I could dream up... it'll be a soft focus group hug thing with a army of the faithful at his elbow, Mum will be there too, guaranteed....

 

[wirral]

An entourage of 10 apparently.

 

[Oldman]

Oh, I'm good! According to Wall Street Journal: "Mr. Armstrong told friends and relatives he would not talk about others, only himself, and he would not get into specifics."

I deserve that drink now, and'll continue the drinking game come thursday night...

You'd better pace yourself, the interview is now over two days...

 

[Oldman]

Now he's trying to confess the best. I'm the best confessor. Look at me!

He had to gather all of the facts and bring them to Oprah in the Suitcase of Courage. That took a long time because of the evil UCI, other bad riders that made him dope and the manipulative investment banker that ran the whole show.
He'd actually be correct in saying that. He wouldn't believe it himself but he would be correct.

 

[thehog]

He had to gather all of the facts and bring them to Oprah in the Suitcase of Courage. That took a long time because of the evil UCI, other bad riders that made him dope and the manipulative investment banker that ran the whole show.
He'd actually be correct in saying that. He wouldn't believe it himself but he would be correct.

Well the UCI defense is a good one. That’s the way I’d play it out. If he can prove that doping was “common practice” and that he was mealy participating in what was generally accepted as normal then his exposure maybe a little less.

Selling the UCI is a given for Lance. They need to be taken down and Lance can make himself look a little better by doing so.

Alas he’s still finished. He’s in love with confessing at the moment. The media is on him again, the world is awaiting everyone of his comments and even Oprah can’t control the Camp Armstrong leaks. She’s been played. Most of the media has been played. Lance must think its 2002 all over again.

But in around 3-4 weeks time it will all go away again. The ban will still be in place. The media will still think he’s rabble. People won’t want to know him and it won’t feel so good.

Job losses at Livestrong by year’s end, law suit after law suit. Life won’t get much better for confessing. He’ll feel a little better about himself and get to settle some old scores and he’s finished all the same.

Dead in the water.

 

[Fortyninefourteen]

Well the UCI defense is a good one. That’s the way I’d play it out. If he can prove that doping was “common practice” and that he was mealy participating in what was generally accepted as normal then his exposure maybe a little less.

Selling the UCI is a given for Lance. They need to be taken down and Lance can make himself look a little better by doing so.

Alas he’s still finished. He’s in love with confessing at the moment. The media is on him again, the world is awaiting everyone of his comments and even Oprah can’t control the Camp Armstrong leaks. She’s been played. Most of the media has been played. Lance must think its 2002 all over again.

But in around 3-4 weeks time it will all go away again. The ban will still be in place. The media will still think he’s rabble. People won’t want to know him and it won’t feel so good.

Job losses at Livestrong by year’s end, law suit after law suit. Life won’t get much better for confessing. He’ll feel a little better about himself and get to settle some old scores and he’s finished all the same.

Dead in the water.

...and what of JB?

 

[thehog]

...and what of JB?

He can launch his book and go on a confessional tour duty.

The confession twins can milk a new market for the confessionals.

He is finsihied all the same. Will never work in cycling again.

But has limited time to cash in now whilst the topic is still hot.