Who is the most passionate Lance fan?

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Who deserves the title?

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Jul 11, 2009
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Originally posted by 53 x 11
The best part was how lance rode as such a team man and didnt try and chase back and covered all the attack from the other bikers whos names i dont know. He is so great i love everything he has done and he is the best cyclist of all time. I know a lot about cycling I watch it at least three times a year when lance is in the tour de Lance and sometimes i ride to the shops.
I posted this in the lance forum. I am Lance's big fan. I am loving the way he bikes and the Lance Twitter news service. I was first fan of Team Radioshack on Facebook, Myspace and mail order small electronic parts all the time from Radioshack. I have a signed pair of Motorola knicks which I keep under my pillow and will never wash.

Vote me number one greatest Lance lover, please, please, please.
 
I remember when I fist joined, there was a guy called 'GoLanceGo' who had to be about 10yrs of age he was so immature. He actually wrote once 'Lance has won 7 Tours, Lance is the greatest hahaha', he never actually engaged in a discussion. He just shouted like a baby in defence of Lance.
 
Mar 17, 2009
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A few people who deserve honourable mentions:

Pro Tour, AAmilne, The Arbiter, Gree2023 - New guys in the clinic forum, now everyone has to go back and rehash everything again even though it has been explained again and again in the previous 20 pages.

Dodorson, BYU123, Belokki and Robert Mervel- They seemed to have dropped off the earth after ther tour. Funny that ay:rolleyes: If you guys are still around you should pop in for a chat:)

Dennis Norward - Only ever seen him on BR, but seems to be a pretty big fan

Swiftsolo - Never seen him on here

But the winner, the one the only: Jackhammer111

This man has the honour of being banned at both cyclingnews and Bike radar forums although on bike radar he came back with a slighly less conspicuous forum name after he was banned the first time: Jackhammer11:D



This is the story of Jackhammer111*:

Along time ago in a galazy far, far away called Cylingnews professional road race forum a young, brash and fearless Thoughtforfood took the fight to the alpha male of Lance lovers (also known as Lord(Jackhammer)Vadar). It was a long and drawn out battle lasting many a week and many a thread with many a casulty for both sides of the holy war. Many a pawn lost their forum account to protect their sacred and holy beliefs.

As the threads grew longer and the battles more heated and intense it became apparent that the dark side of the force would be severly deminished and banished to a minority if Lord Darth (jackhammer) Vadar could be killed (banned) from the cyclingnews professional road race galaxy.

Thoughtforfood realised that Lord Jackhammer Vadar would never sway to the good side of the force even with the most convincing and compelling evidence Lord Hammer would not relent and jedi warrior (TTF) realised the only way to win the holy war was make Lord Hammer poison (get himself banned)himself.

The jedi warriors Luke skywalker (TTF), Han Solo (Alpe d'huez), Yoda (Bigboat) and the black guy played by Samuel L Jackson(Brodeal) set in motion a scheme to mention the taboo words that brought pain unto Lord Hammer everytime they were spoken: "Lance is a d*per" unless they were followed by the following phrase "He has never tested positive" or derivatives of that phrase including "He is the most tested athlete ever" or "The french are out to get him" or the classic "The 1999 samples were mishandled and therefor do not count"

The idea was to get lord Hammer so worked up that he did not mention the taboo cancelling words because he was so overloaded dealing with the jedi coming at him from all sides. The holy jedi warriors swarmed Lord Hammers Death star (lance is not a doper thread) whilst TTF baited him into a slanging match. Whilst the other jedi warriors took out the storm troopers (Versus and the US public), luckily it was not july and the stormtrooper army was not fully assembled.

The slanging match became so heated that Lord Hammer demanded that Luke Skywalker (TTF) stop hiding behind his space ship (TTF homeland: In the states somewhere) and come to the Death Star(Whereever jackhammer lived: UK somewhere i think) to fight him man on man.

This along with insulting TTF's family (i believe) was enough for the cyclingnews gods to kill(ban) Lord (Jackhammer) Vadar. The holy war of the force was won and with Lord Vadar dead there army was severly deminished and they were banished from this part of the galaxy to a small corner now know as "The Clinic".

Many have tried to replace Lord Vadar but they were only pretenders but included many of the following: Robert Mervel, BYU123 and dodorson but the jedi now reign supreme and control the dark side of the force with relative ease baecause of one fatal flaw: They hibernate from August to June.

And that my friends is the legendary story of Jackhammer111






*Note: Parts of this story are not completely true and many parts may have been exaggerated*
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
El Imbatido said:
A few people who deserve honourable mentions:

Pro Tour, AAmilne, The Arbiter, Gree2023 - New guys in the clinic forum, now everyone has to go back and rehash everything again even though it has been explained again and again in the previous 20 pages.

Dodorson, BYU123, Belokki and Robert Mervel- They seemed to have dropped off the earth after ther tour. Funny that ay:rolleyes: If you guys are still around you should pop in for a chat:)

Dennis Norward - Only ever seen him on BR, but seems to be a pretty big fan

Swiftsolo - Never seen him on here

But the winner, the one the only: Jackhammer111

This man has the honour of being banned at both cyclingnews and Bike radar forums although on bike radar he came back with a slighly less conspicuous forum name after he was banned the first time: Jackhammer11:D



This is the story of Jackhammer111*:

Along time ago in a galazy far, far away called Cylingnews professional road race forum a young, brash and fearless Thoughtforfood took the fight to the alpha male of Lance lovers (also known as Lord(Jackhammer)Vadar). It was a long and drawn out battle lasting many a week and many a thread with many a casulty for both sides of the holy war. Many a pawn lost their forum account to protect their sacred and holy beliefs.

As the threads grew longer and the battles more heated and intense it became apparent that the dark side of the force would be severly deminished and banished to a minority if Lord Darth (jackhammer) Vadar could be killed (banned) from the cyclingnews professional road race galaxy.

Thoughtforfood realised that Lord Jackhammer Vadar would never sway to the good side of the force even with the most convincing and compelling evidence Lord Hammer would not relent and jedi warrior (TTF) realised the only way to win the holy war was make Lord Hammer poison (get himself banned)himself.

The jedi warriors Luke skywalker (TTF), Han Solo (Alpe d'huez), Yoda (Bigboat) and the black guy played by Samuel L Jackson(Brodeal) set in motion a scheme to mention the taboo words that brought pain unto Lord Hammer everytime they were spoken: "Lance is a d*per" unless they were followed by the following phrase "He has never tested positive" or derivatives of that phrase including "He is the most tested athlete ever" or "The french are out to get him" or the classic "The 1999 samples were mishandled and therefor do not count"

The idea was to get lord Hammer so worked up that he did not mention the taboo cancelling words because he was so overloaded dealing with the jedi coming at him from all sides. The holy jedi warriors swarmed Lord Hammers Death star (lance is not a doper thread) whilst TTF baited him into a slanging match. Whilst the other jedi warriors took out the storm troopers (Versus and the US public), luckily it was not july and the stormtrooper army was not fully assembled.

The slanging match became so heated that Lord Hammer demanded that Luke Skywalker (TTF) stop hiding behind his space ship (TTF homeland: In the states somewhere) and come to the Death Star(Whereever jackhammer lived: UK somewhere i think) to fight him man on man.

This along with insulting TTF's family (i believe) was enough for the cyclingnews gods to kill(ban) Lord (Jackhammer) Vadar. The holy war of the force was won and with Lord Vadar dead there army was severly deminished and they were banished from this part of the galaxy to a small corner now know as "The Clinic".

Many have tried to replace Lord Vadar but they were only pretenders but included many of the following: Robert Mervel, BYU123 and dodorson but the jedi now reign supreme and control the dark side of the force with relative ease baecause of one fatal flaw: They hibernate from August to June.

And that my friends is the legendary story of Jackhammer111






*Note: Parts of this story are not completely true and many parts may have been exaggerated*
Wow, that is EXACTLY how it happened! Thanks, that is HILARIOUS.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
El Imbatido said:
Ha Ha LOL. I never even thought about that.:D
I didn't either, now I guess I have admitted that jackhammer111 is my daddy...dang
 
May 10, 2009
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I got banned by Coolhand also because I got so sick of the bulls&&& of him banning the only people who actually knew what they were talking about....

Never seen SwiftSolo on here, but my God, what a nutcase/Lance fan...Are they mutually exclusive?!!

ProTour should be on the list, as should Gree, The Arbiter and ScottSoCal...
Gree would be the number one in my view though...although Jackhammer was special....
 
Jun 19, 2009
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badboyberty said:
65rpm and Craboncrank should have got a start, but they don't have the "step on my Lance and I'll cut your head-off" attitude of some of the Lance-for-Pres crowd, and therefore will never podium on the "most passionate" competition.

They're both mature enough that even mangling their log-on names will probably only get me a polite reprimand rather than an invite to go toe-to-toe behind the bikeshed...
I am suprised people don't realise that Carbon Crank was Jackhammer111 and both got banned which deserves its own award.

While Jack went off the deep end at the end at least up until that he could argue pretty well and he had some amusing jousts with TFF, my favourite being when L'Equipe stated that 4-7 positives were due and it was denied by the UCI he wrote:

"I refer everyone back to my repeated comments about the the credibility of L'Equipe" ...which was immediatley followed by TFF with:
"I refer everyone back to my repeated comments about the credibility of Jackhammer111"
 
May 10, 2009
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Dr. Maserati said:
I am suprised people don't realise that Carbon Crank was Jackhammer111 and both got banned which deserves its own award.

While Jack went off the deep end at the end at least up until that he could argue pretty well and he had some amusing jousts with TFF, my favourite being when L'Equipe stated that 4-7 positives were due and it was denied by the UCI he wrote:

"I refer everyone back to my repeated comments about the the credibility of L'Equipe" ...which was immediatley followed by TFF with:
"I refer everyone back to my repeated comments about the credibility of Jackhammer111"
I was just coming on board when Jack was going mental...So he was okay and then flipped and started asking people for fights? Or he offered to go to people's homes and fight them?
Was Jack the guy who said he was crying and shaking at the computer whilst typing because someone close to him had died?
 
Jul 11, 2009
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Dr. Maserati said:
I am suprised people don't realise that Carbon Crank was Jackhammer111 and both got banned which deserves its own award.
carboncrank was quite a fun little battle, I lost quite a few posts that day. But it was all for the greater good. I think Brodeal should get alot of credit for that one.
 
Jun 19, 2009
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Digger said:
I was just coming on board when Jack was going mental...So he was okay and then flipped and started asking people for fights? Or he offered to go to people's homes and fight them?
Was Jack the guy who said he was crying and shaking at the computer whilst typing because someone close to him had died?
Ya! That was just before I signed up - I had been checking out the forum for a few days beforehand and I spotted the exchange

Thankfully Alpe asked the question I was thinking "why are you on on a forum when you have just suffered a loss"?
 
Mar 17, 2009
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I must have missed the CarbonCrank saga, i don't remember him(you say it was jack). What the hell happened?

Can someone point me toward some of his work. Should be able to tell if it was jack



A bit OT but what happened to WBT? Did he get banned?
 
Mar 17, 2009
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53 x 11 said:
The little drama that got CC banned was nothing compared to Jack. unfortunatlly the posts have mostly been deleted but is happened around here http://forum.cyclingnews.com/showthread.php?t=2587&page=36
Cheers. I got bored with that topic after a few pages and could see where it was headed so didnt really bother with it. So that is probably why i missed him. But Jackhammer being CarbonCrank, from the few posts i read you could see the Jackhammer like passion for lance but he didnt express it like Jackhammer. So i'm not convinced he is. What got carbon banned in the end?

Also as i asked before, you may not have seen it but where is White Boy Trash? Banned i'm assuming
 
El Imbatido said:
I must have missed the CarbonCrank saga, i don't remember him(you say it was jack). What the hell happened?

Can someone point me toward some of his work. Should be able to tell if it was jack



A bit OT but what happened to WBT? Did he get banned?
On CarbonCrank/Jackhammer. Didnt think that either, but now that its out there I would be surprised at all. Wouldnt be surprised if WBT got banned either, very few of the Lance fans have stuck around for long. I know Dimspace likes Lance but is not a fanboy, Benpounder, 53 x 12 in DC are others who dont like the hate but dont seem like fanboys. Amsterhammer is on holidays or something and I cannot think of anyboday else. I noticed a few older posters have dissappeared or been quieter over the last month or maybe they were less noticeable due to all the 3 week posters. RDV4Roubaix, El Chingon, Ingsve, 53 x 12 in DC and a few other sensible posters have been near invisible.

There is a few ideas that Lance fans throw out that really get me irked:

Lance is the greatest cyclist ever,
Lance never tested positive and is thus 100% clean,
Lance is the saviour of the sport,
The Tour is more exciting with Lance,
Lance brought lots of sponsors to the sport,
All great champions are jerks, not just Lance,
The French are out to get Lance,
Lance is a good team-mate,
Lance does not manipulate media opinion,
Lance was right to do what he done to Simeoni,
Everyone should respect Lance cos he won the Tour 7 times,
Everyone who doesnt like Lance is a hater,
We are just no-hope racers who are jealous of his success.

I am sure there are more but if I see any of the above in a post, I automatically see a fanboy as most of the above are not true. Even a lot of people who like Lance could surely admit that a lot of these statements are false.
 
Mar 15, 2009
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pmcg76 said:
On CarbonCrank/Jackhammer. Didnt think that either, but now that its out there I would be surprised at all. Wouldnt be surprised if WBT got banned either, very few of the Lance fans have stuck around for long. I know Dimspace likes Lance but is not a fanboy, Benpounder, 53 x 12 in DC are others who dont like the hate but dont seem like fanboys. Amsterhammer is on holidays or something and I cannot think of anyboday else. I noticed a few older posters have dissappeared or been quieter over the last month or maybe they were less noticeable due to all the 3 week posters. RDV4Roubaix, El Chingon, Ingsve, 53 x 12 in DC and a few other sensible posters have been near invisible.

There is a few ideas that Lance fans throw out that really get me irked:

Lance is the greatest cyclist ever,
Lance never tested positive and is thus 100% clean,
Lance is the saviour of the sport,
The Tour is more exciting with Lance,
Lance brought lots of sponsors to the sport,
All great champions are jerks, not just Lance,
The French are out to get Lance,
Lance is a good team-mate,
Lance does not manipulate media opinion,
Lance was right to do what he done to Simeoni,
Everyone should respect Lance cos he won the Tour 7 times,
Everyone who doesnt like Lance is a hater,
We are just no-hope racers who are jealous of his success.

I am sure there are more but if I see any of the above in a post, I automatically see a fanboy as most of the above are not true. Even a lot of people who like Lance could surely admit that a lot of these statements are false.
Hmmmm how honest of you.
Now, which of the above are:
1. patently false
2. Arguably false
3. Questionable
4. arguably true
5. obviously true

a. Greatest cyclist ever-- answer "1" who says this crap
b. never tested positive--credit for answers "4" and "5"
c. Saviour of the sport-- answer "1" or "2"
d. more exciting with Lance-- "3" because 50% say 1, 50% say 5
e. all champions are jerks--"3"
f. brought a lot of sponsors-- "4" or "5" are correct: Disco, Shack, kept USPS in, Berry FLoors
did a wolrd of good for Giro, Oakley, Trek
g. French out to get--"5" for sports officials and media "1" for public
h. Lance doesnt manipulate--"1" does it better than most
i. good teammate--"4"
j. Simeoni--"1" even he regrets it
k. respect--"5" as a cyclist
l. hater-- "3"
m. no-hope racers--"1" almost no one here races
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
El Imbatido said:
Cheers. I got bored with that topic after a few pages and could see where it was headed so didnt really bother with it. So that is probably why i missed him. But Jackhammer being CarbonCrank, from the few posts i read you could see the Jackhammer like passion for lance but he didnt express it like Jackhammer. So i'm not convinced he is. What got carbon banned in the end?

Also as i asked before, you may not have seen it but where is White Boy Trash? Banned i'm assuming
I think WBT got banned for those posts about the LAF's accounting. It seems like they were his last posts. Too bad, he was always good for a laugh. He has written some fake articles that were priceless.
 
davestoller said:
Hmmmm how honest of you.
Now, which of the above are:
1. patently false
2. Arguably false
3. Questionable
4. arguably true
5. obviously true

a. Greatest cyclist ever-- answer "1" who says this crap(they exist)
b. never tested positive--credit for answers "4" and "5"("3" or "2")
c. Saviour of the sport-- answer "1" or "2"
d. more exciting with Lance-- "1" most people, "5" if you are Lance fan only
e. all champions are jerks--"3"
f. brought a lot of sponsors-- "4" or "5" are correct: Disco, Shack, kept USPS in, Berry FLoors
did a wolrd of good for Giro, Oakley, Trek
g. French out to get--"5" for sports officials and media "1" for public(maybe 5 for media)
h. Lance doesnt manipulate--"1" does it better than most
i. good teammate--"4"
j. Simeoni--"1" even he regrets it
k. respect--"5" as a cyclist overall"3"
l. hater-- "3"
m. no-hope racers--"1" almost no one here races
Overall not that far apart so I guess you feel Lance is neither as good or as bad as some make out, still a long way from your average fanboys attitude.
 
Jun 19, 2009
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El Imbatido said:
Cheers. I got bored with that topic after a few pages and could see where it was headed so didnt really bother with it. So that is probably why i missed him. But Jackhammer being CarbonCrank, from the few posts i read you could see the Jackhammer like passion for lance but he didnt express it like Jackhammer. So i'm not convinced he is. What got carbon banned in the end?

Also as i asked before, you may not have seen it but where is White Boy Trash? Banned i'm assuming
CC was deinatley Jack - I had a suspicion on the first day as he was very critical of L'Equipe. Then he mentioned that people were rounded on when they joined and that he had looked at posts going back to before the Giro!

But I had a slight run in with CC and when I posted a reply in the 'Is it safe in here" thread and shortly after I got a PM - so that confirmed it.

Just after CC's final post the mods put a 'jackhammer' picture on the thread!
 

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