I was kind of tongue in cheek.
Animal said:
The utter chaos is only on moutaintop finishes, so avoid them - you don't get to see much.
On the other hand the decisive action is often only there, so they are worth some extra "suffering". You need not be at the last couple of kilometers.
As time = distance / speed, for most rider viewing time try to find a steep spot (less speed) at the end of a "long" (up to 100 meters/yards or more) straight (more distance). If you are at the end of a straight, that is on a turn, you need not be able to see up, as a) riders that have already passed show their backs at you and it's nothing particularly interesting, and b) you'll turn to watch down anyway, as there soon will be other riders coming.
Obviously you need to find a spot where you actually see something (that is, not behind five ranks of spectators), but better if there are plenty of others too! (not that there is any risk of spectators missing in the climbs of Tour...). Having the place full of screaming people from everywhere around the world definitely adds to the excitement and experience.
***
The first time I watched a GT live there were two aspects that struck me most - and they still do, and make it worthwhile!
1) the
expectation. It starts with the "caravan", and motorcycles, and cars, and so on. You are there and wait and wait and tension is mounting. At some time you see a helicopter very high in the sky - a sign that they are slowly approaching! Then come other motorcycles, then comes the race director's car. You are already excited and you hear the roar of people "downhill" yelling. The most spectacular moment is when another helicopter rises from behind the trees down the slope - it reminds of the appearance of the helicopters in
Apocalypse Now, and suddenly there he is, the hero of the day, which leads to...
2) the
riders. You see them on TV, and you see how each one is different. There is the fat one (Commesso), the lean one (Rasmussen), and the muscle one (sprinters). Many have their own, often ugly, riding style. On closeups you see them suffer, you see them lose time on the best. But the live experience is completely different. They all - even those struggling for the time cut, even the one who fell, even the one who is losing the GT - they all are like perfectly designed machines, like a carnivore is a perfect product of millions of years of evolution. Silently they go, a determined look in their eyes watching straight ahead, a perfect symbiosis of man and machine. No one of them is fat, and they all, both lean climbers and powerful sprinters, have perfect bodies that (seemingly!) effortlessly advance towards their goal.
I am lucky enough to being able to witness other sports events live at world class level, from football (soccer) to motorcycling, but I never experienced anything of the sort in these other sports.