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You know that normal rules don't apply to you, when:

1- you're halfway up an Alpine giant, and you only have 8 teammates leading you in the race.
2- the UCI President calls you on his speeddial, and his first words are "Sir, would it be terribly inconvenient for you to have a quick telcon later this week?"
3- you only have one ball to bounce around, yet all the ladies are going for it.

Take it home, bro's.
 
Cloxxki said:
1- you're halfway up an Alpine giant, and you only have 8 teammates leading you in the race.
2- the UCI President calls you on his speeddial, and his first words are "Sir, would it be terribly inconvenient for you to have a quick telcon later this week?"
3- you only have one ball to bounce around, yet all the ladies are going for it.

Take it home, bro's.

You may jest but the more and more I learn the more I think Armstrong was a hack athlete. He had the entire team on the Ferrari program, had the UCI paid off for testing tip offs and to remove positives and would also ensure no one else got on the same gear as him. With all that assistance he should have been winning by 40 minutes! What a sad loser.
 
A

Anonymous

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Cloxxki said:
1- you're halfway up an Alpine giant, and you only have 8 teammates leading you in the race.
2- the UCI President calls you on his speeddial, and his first words are "Sir, would it be terribly inconvenient for you to have a quick telcon later this week?"
3- you only have one ball to bounce around, yet all the ladies are going for it.

Take it home, bro's.

When you chase down some journeyman pro cyclist trying to get in a move. Then have your doper friends spit on hime when he returns to the peloton... all on live TV.

Or harrass your personal assistant to the point where he has to move out of the country.

Or sleep with your friends wife.

Or lie to the world for a generation becoming the biggest sporting fraud of all time.

I could go on....
 
thehog said:
You may jest but the more and more I learn the more I think Armstrong was a hack athlete. He had the entire team on the Ferrari program, had the UCI paid off for testing tip offs and to remove positives and would also ensure no one else got on the same gear as him. With all that assistance he should have been winning by 40 minutes! What a sad loser.
I'll rephrase for you, spoil sport.
4- you manage to go faster with Ferrari BEHIND you.
5- the rulers of your sport tell only you their actual price, and bank account number
6- you need to think of ways to let Jan Ullrich alomost beat you to Paris
7- after winning a TdF, you skip the criteriums because
a- those are too cheap to even try and buy the win
b- really, being you makes you more money than any promoter could ever offer you to start there

Anyone else feel original? Please join.
 
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Mambo95 said:
If you dope as a cyclist, then sell dope to cyclists, then post on Cycling News forum about how bad doping is.

OrangUtan+picture_metro-co-uk.jpg
 
Jul 23, 2009
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- You sign the form acknowledging that you don't have any TUE's, then produce a TUE after testing positive for corticosteroids... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

- You keep the testers waiting outside your house for 20 minutes while you take a shower.... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

- You send the last team cars to the airport to collect your family and leave the maillot jaune without a ride to the start gate... AND YOUR TEAM LETS YOU GET AWAY WITH IT!

- You promise an open, transparent comeback with blood values assessed by an independent expert. You break that promise, AND THE MEDIA DOESN'T CALL YOU ON IT!
 
pedaling squares said:
- You sign the form acknowledging that you don't have any TUE's, then produce a TUE after testing positive for corticosteroids... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

- You keep the testers waiting outside your house for 20 minutes while you take a shower.... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

- You send the last team cars to the airport to collect your family and leave the maillot jaune without a ride to the start gate... AND YOUR TEAM LETS YOU GET AWAY WITH IT!

- You promise an open, transparent comeback with blood values assessed by an independent expert. You break that promise, AND THE MEDIA DOESN'T CALL YOU ON IT!

Listening to yah'all holler is giving me a headache. :)

The evidence is overwhelming.

We're just insecure because we're in the dark.

Unless he has a Paris Hilton defence? ...

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lan...jail-time-in-felony-drug-possession-case.html

The B***H is going down... but, don't count on it?

He may just have a high school education... but now he has an "entourage" which is a fancy French word for... I talk pretty, cus' I had a PR Coach.
 
May 6, 2009
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thehog said:
You may jest but the more and more I learn the more I think Armstrong was a hack athlete. He had the entire team on the Ferrari program, had the UCI paid off for testing tip offs and to remove positives and would also ensure no one else got on the same gear as him. With all that assistance he should have been winning by 40 minutes! What a sad loser.

The more you post, the more I start to believe you have a fair bit to do with Armstrong on a personal basis.
 
May 6, 2009
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TubularBills said:
and your contention is exactly? Seems like a personal attack without support or evidence? Free Speech.

WTF :confused:

You've been here five minutes, and just how exactly is that a personal attack? Actually 'thehog' is very active on the subject of Armstrong, and if his posts are to believed, has had a lot to do with professional cyclists, so it lead me to have a gut feeling that he's has had some sort of dealing with Armstrong.

Nothing personal there.
 
Jun 13, 2010
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Cloxxki said:
1- you're halfway up an Alpine giant, and you only have 8 teammates leading you in the race.
2- the UCI President calls you on his speeddial, and his first words are "Sir, would it be terribly inconvenient for you to have a quick telcon later this week?"
3- you only have one ball to bounce around, yet all the ladies are going for it.

Take it home, bro's.

When one of your long time, and very wealthy friends from Austin, who sits on the BOD of LAF.org ALSO sits on the BOD of Cycling USA, looking after your "special" interests there as well.
 
After winning your 7th consecutive Tour de France title the organisers break from tradition and hand you a microphone while you're on the winners podium. Instead of giving a humbling and appreciative speech you get stuck into the those who said you were a doper and the state there are "no secrets" and "hard work wins the Tour".

You don't mention the bribes, the pay-offs, the intimidation tactics and the blatant outright cheating you did to win seven said titles.
 
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thehog said:
After winning your 7th consecutive Tour de France title the organisers break from tradition and hand you a microphone while you're on the winners podium. Instead of giving a humbling and appreciative speech you get stuck into the those who said you were a doper and the state there are "no secrets" and "hard work wins the Tour".

You don't mention the bribes, the pay-offs, the intimidation tactics and the blatant outright cheating you did to win seven said titles.

now someone just has to do a youtube dub over that footage telling the truth:D

"to win the tour 7 times, you gotta get Ferrari and his program, pay off the UCI, intimidate anyone and everyone who raises an eyebrow in your direction, cheat, cheat and oh yeah did i mention cheat, i thank you!"
 
Benotti69 said:
now someone just has to do a youtube dub over that footage telling the truth:D

"to win the tour 7 times, you gotta get Ferrari and his program, pay off the UCI, intimidate anyone and everyone who raises an eyebrow in your direction, cheat, cheat and oh yeah did i mention cheat, i thank you!"

Daily Show said it best at the time...bashing Armstrong after his insulting victory speech: Lance Armstrong released his autobiography called "It's not about the bike." At the same time, his bike came out with its own autobiography, appropriately titled, "F*** You Lance!"
 

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