2019 Alien Awards

[18-Valve. (pithy)]

Sagan in general gets far less attention from the Clinic than you would expect given his performance levels and some of the ridiculous stuff he's pulled over the years. The guy clearly has underlying incredible talent, but he's pulled some performances over the years that, if they'd been done by somebody who people weren't willing to turn a blind eye to because he pulls the occasional wheelie or dyes his goatee green, would have been absolutely pilloried, if not in the same way as Cancellara or Valverde then at least in the same way as Gilbert or van Avermaet.

GVA mostly gets a pass around here, even though he was involved in a doping investigation. He was acquitted, though ....by his national federation.

Sagan had one of his worst seasons since he turned pro, but it seems to be mostly a motivational issue, as he was still among the very best in the WC road race, for example. Valverde, GVA, Gilbert and Cancellara have more questionable results / performed at other levels than before, whereas Sagan has mostly been consistent, but added muscle/weight and lost explosiveness and climbing ability along the way.

He's most likely been on an elite doping program for all his career, OR is incredibly talented and is only on a run-of-the-mill program. It just isn't as in your face as with Cancellara and them.

 

[Tricycle Rider]

GVA mostly gets a pass around here, even though he was involved in a doping investigation. He was acquitted, though ....by his national federation.

Sagan had one of his worst seasons since he turned pro, but it seems to be mostly a motivational issue, as he was still among the very best in the WC road race, for example. Valverde, GVA, Gilbert and Cancellara have more questionable results / performed at other levels than before, whereas Sagan has mostly been consistent, but added muscle/weight and lost explosiveness and climbing ability along the way.

He's most likely been on an elite doping program for all his career, OR is incredibly talented and is only on a run-of-the-mill program. It just isn't as in your face as with Cancellara and them.

Can't speak for anyone else, but at this point I'm so jaded by professional sports in general that I just assume Sagan is on the program as well.

I enjoy watching him nonetheless because he's clearly very talented and is a bit of a character, and at least he doesn't proclaim he's squeaky clean. That's when the pros piss me off, it's when they swear up and down that they are clean, and when they act all shocked when one of their teammates is caught doping.

 

[Simurgh]

On top of my head there were quite a few. Gilbert, Cancellara and other classics or stage race exploits in the first years of the decade not mentioned, since I didn't follow the sport then.

"Turned off tv/intelligence insulted" alien:

Froome Jafferau 2018

Jaw-dropping alien (random order):

Froome Ventoux 2013
Froome Ax-3 2013
Froome Pierre-Saint Martin 2015
Froome/Contador Col du Béal 2014
Foliforov MTT 2016
Van der Poel Amstel 2019
Alaphilippe Tourmalet/Pau ITT 2019

Shaking my head "this is crazy/ridiculous" alien (random order)

Simon Yates Giro 2018
Valverde spring 2017
Voeckler Galibier 2011
Gilbert Ronde 2017
Purito Vuelta 2012
Contador Cuitu Negru 2012
Landa Giro 2015
Contador Lanciano/guardiagrele raid 2014 (that one I enjoyed tho)
Dumoulin Giro 2017
Dumoulin Tour 2018
Thomas Tour 2018
Alaphilippe spring 2019
Fuglsang spring 2019 (especially Fleche Wallone)
Froome Zoncolan 2018 (first time I felt sympathy for him, but then Jafferau happened and back to square one)

Quick step and SKY the most ridiculous teams of the decade. SKY/INEOS win though, because Quick step only turned crazy some years ago, whereas SKY/INEOS have been crazy since 2011 Vuelta. I really wonder what happened in the weeks between the Tour and the Vuelta that year...

 

[laarsland]

Given the content on that list, your omission of Roglic in 2019 is....interesting.