.

[gregrowlerson]

I think you misremember that one. She totally loved it and wanted me to use her in a shot put duel against you.

All women dream of a man who can pick them up.

As for the throwing part, that would have to be some weird fetish, but I've heard of weirder.

 

[Publiuszam]

Swimming in ill-gotten money like Scrooge McDuck.

With a Ferrari car, I think.

 

[Sciatic]

This thread is in its early stages, but I see huge potential

You were right!!

 

[RedheadDane]

Cant wait for someone to stumble onto this thread and wonder what the h@ll is going on! Not to suggest, of course, that we really know ourselves what we’re doing

They'll probably think we've lost our minds. Which isn't that far from the truth.

 

[BlueRoads]

All women dream of a man who can pick them up.

As for the throwing part, that would have to be some weird fetish, but I've heard of weirder.

I don't have such a fetish, or any at all.

 

[gregrowlerson]

I don't have such a fetish, or any at all.

That might be so, but it's probably never considered a fetish, to the person who has the fetish.

P.S. I don't have a fetish for exploring other peoples fetishes, obviously.

 

[Publiuszam]

They'll probably think we've lost our minds. Which isn't that far from the truth.

Hey RhD you should do one of your race commentary again. This was the last one you did back in 2011

1 minute after Angliru made it down to the flat Alpe and Zoncolan also makes it. Perhaps they will have a small advantage from being two.

True enough; Angliru’s lead is slowly dwindling.

In the meantime Angliru has begun the next climb of the day. This is the without doubt easiest climb of the day; a cat. 2 climb of just 7 k and an average of 5 percent.

46 seconds after Angliru Alpe and Zoncolan begins the climb.

We’ve just heard words that no less than 10 riders decided to quit going up the HC climb!

And the “main group” (we need a better definition of that group) has just reached the flat. 5:30 after Angliru crossed.

Alpe and Zoncolan has just caught Angliru. So now we have a trio in the front again.

They’ve reached the top and begun the very short, 5 k decent down to the base of the first cat. 1 climb of today.

This climb is 17 k long with an average gradient of 12 percent.

Mind you there are STILL riders who haven’t reached the top of the HC climb!

THERE’S BEEN ANOTHER CRASH ON THE DECENT FROM THE HC CLIMB! This time it’s RedheadDane who goes directly into a solid rock-face. This doesn’t look good and she’s clearly unconscious!

In case you were wondering the front trio HAS indeed begun the cat. 1 climb.

They seem to be working rather well together, for now...

We’re back at RedheadDane. She’s regained consciousness and is now sitting on the ground with a loopy grin on her face, not noticing the blood dripping down her eyes.

A doctor is helping her to the ambulance. Not an easy task as the Ginger Viking is giggling uncontrollable and constantly mumbles something that sounds like “shiny”!

Okay. Enough of that. Our front trio has just crossed the top of the cat. 1 climb and is going down towards the next cat. 1 climb!

This decent is 10 k long!

The climb is only 8 k long. However, it is 20 percent from the bottom to the top!

The group I guess we should refer to as the ‘chase group’ as just begun the first cat. 1 climb, 7:34 after the front.

The front trio has begun the second cat. 2 climb and instantly Zoncolan creates a small gap to his two companions.

He only gets a few seconds though.

Current situation:
In the front Zoncolan. About 4 seconds after him Alpe and Angliru. And about 4 minutes after Zoncolan the remains of the main group, which now counts only about 25 riders. After that group we have riders spread all over the route!

Zoncolan has just reached the top of the climb. Now he gets 2 k of “flat” before starting the second HC climb of the day.

THERE’S AN ATTACK IN THE MAIN GROUP! It’s Zam_Olyas who effortlessly breaks free.

Zoncolan has just begun the HC climb. It’s 17 k with an average of 8 and sections of 12 percent.

3 seconds after Zoncolan Alpe and Angliru begins the climb.

Zam_Olyas has reached the top of the first cat. 1 climb, 7:30 after what was then the front trio crossed.

Zoncolan has just begun the third HC climb of the day. This climb is 25 K, it’s average gradient is 15, but in sections it reaches a whopping 30 percent!

A large group has just reached the bottom of the 20-percent-climb. They look at each other and collectively abandon.

Zoncolan is now on one of the steep sections, he is basically grinding to a halt.

This is allowing Angliru and Alpe to catch up with him.

From now on I’ll concentrate on the front trio. With the nearest chaser (Zam_Olyas) being close to 8 minutes behind it looks more and more clear that the race with be decided between our mountainous trio.

The trio which has just reached the top of the climb. Now it’s a 32 K decent, this is an easy one, not worth describing.

However, there are some difficulties when they reach the bottom. Then they’ll make a 180 degree turn and start the third and last cat. 1 climb of the day. This climb is just 5 K long but it’s 17 percent and it’s on gravel!

The trio is almost at the button of the descent.

ALPE CRASHED WHEN MAKING THE TURN!

Without looking back Angliru quickly attacks and creates a gap to Zoncolan.

He’s already got 10 seconds while Zoncolan is basically standing still.

Alpe is getting back on his bike.

Angliru has crossed the top. Now he begins a short 4 K descent down towards the second-to-last climb of the day.

12 seconds after Angliru it’s Zoncolan who crosses the top.

This climb is 10 K, and it’s never under 15 percent!

Alpe has just crossed the top of the cat. 1 climb. 57 seconds behind Angliru.

Angliru just begun the HC climb.

ZONCOLAN CRASHED ON THE DECENT!

This is allowing Alpe to catch up with up him.

In the front Angliru is just continuing. It LOOKS like he’ll take this.

He has just reached the top.

And as if the Col de la Décès wasn’t bad enough the decent just before is only 3 K long and with such a low gradient (2 percent) that it’s necessary to pedal all the way. Then to make things even more wicked the riders will start the Décès with a 500 metres section of 25 percent.

1:04 after Angliru crossed the top of the second-to-last HC climb Zoncolan and Alpe makes it over the top.

ANGLIRU HAS BEGUN THE DÉCÈS!

Behind him Alpe and Zoncolan seems to have some advantage of being two and have brought the gap down to just 50 seconds. Everything could still happen!

Angliru is almost grinding to a standstill.

HE’S CAUGHT! Now we have a trio in front once more!

They have just passed the 40 K to go banner.

ALPE HAS JUST ATTACKED ON ONE OF THE “FLAT” SECTIONS!

Without much effort Zoncolan counters and brings him back.

There is no cooperation in this group whatsoever!

As soon as he was caught Alpe went to the back, refusing to pull.

This is clearly ****ing off Angliru who is gesturing wildly.

NOT a smart thing to do on a 22 percent section. He just fell over.

Nothing major, he’s already back on the bike. However, he can hardly start and in the meantime Zoncolan and Alpe are disappearing around a corner.

30 to go for the two in front.

Angliru has had to eat his pride and walk to a section where he’ll be able to get on his bike again.

ZONCOLAN JUST ATTACKED ALPE!

A full MINUTE after Alpe and Zoncolan Angliru goes under the 30-to-go banner.

 

[gregrowlerson]

Hey RhD you should do one of your race commentary again. This was the last one you did back in 2011

The previous posts in this thread now appear perfectly normal

P.S. Maybe the only way that CRAZY story could be improved, is if the climbs are named after riders.

"And Angliru has attacked on the Contador!"

 

[RedheadDane]

The previous posts in this thread now appear perfectly normal

P.S. Maybe the only way that CRAZY story could be improved, is if the climbs are named after riders.

"And Angliru has attacked on the Contador!"

Not my fault we has/had several users on this forum whose usernames are/were famous climbs!

 

[gregrowlerson]

News just in: It seems the first two "flat, but potential crosswinds" stages were fake news, as it is stages 3 and 4 which have seen politically correct thread distancing politically incorrect thread greatly. But with Primoz Roglic comfortable, I see Tony Martin moving to the front. Is he about to move into pelican mode?

 

[Samu Cuenca]

The previous posts in this thread now appear perfectly normal

P.S. Maybe the only way that CRAZY story could be improved, is if the climbs are named after riders.

"And Angliru has attacked on the Contador!"

"Zoncolan putting the hammer down on Ullrich"
"Alpe nearly losing his chain on the very easy descent from Les-Deux-Schlecks"

 

[gregrowlerson]

Not my fault we has/had several users on this forum whose usernames are/were famous climbs!

Another thing I didn't get!

So their racing style was like their posting style?

 

[gregrowlerson]

"Zoncolan putting the hammer down on Ullrich"
"Alpe nearly losing his chain on the very easy descent from Les-Deux-Schlecks"

Ullrich sounds like a harder climb than Zoncolan.

 

[RedheadDane]

Another thing I didn't get!

So their racing style was like their posting style?

I was just... a bit weird back then... I have since gotten much saner.

 

[Samu Cuenca]

Ullrich sounds like a harder climb than Zoncolan.

Mostly during July. It tends to be false steep for long periods and a bit snowy at times.

I was just... a bit weird back then... I have since gotten much saner.

Clearly...

 

[Volderke]

I'm happy to hear that Paris-Nice will end on the Promenade d'Anglais in Nice, as usual. This has just been confirmed in the media.

 

[Libertine Seguros]

The previous posts in this thread now appear perfectly normal

P.S. Maybe the only way that CRAZY story could be improved, is if the climbs are named after riders.

"And Angliru has attacked on the Contador!"

You don't remember that ceremony where Old Willunga Hill was officially renamed Mount Richieporte?

 

[Volderke]

Back to the race: there was a breakaway with a lot of nationalities. Maybe even some Belgians but I don't think so.

 

[Bonimenier]

Bit of a snoozefest in TA. Luckily PN is exciting.

 

[Samu Cuenca]

There's a headwind in T-A, so I think Ewan will take it at the line.

 

[Keram]

Great to see Sagan bounced back. Great finish ahead of Alaphillipe and two cyclocrossers. Poor Almeida though.

 

[johnymax]

This just in.... The last stage of P-N will be replaced with this:

 

[Ricco']

Sean Bennett is really strong in Paris-Nice. Who would have thought that Qhubeka would have a top class sprinter in their ranks.

 

[rghysens]

This just in.... The last stage of P-N will be replaced with this:

Last 5 km on skis, though....

 

[ice&fire]

Last 5 km on skis, though....

Roglic will ski jump upwards