Ya know what, I'd prefer no commentators at all!
I remember a few years ago, for a good 20 or so mins, there was no commentary feed and all we had was the camera mics picking up the sounds on the road - it gave a beautiful ambiance of the real action and no blow-hard crap about so-and-so winning the Tour of Mallorca in 2001 a few months before taking the silver medal in the national TT championships as a teammate of Thor Hushovd who, by the way, wears the national champions colours on his sleeves to denote his victory in that country's national championships, the same championships, by the way, in which the king of Norway took a massive dump in the cycling cap of Dag Otto Lauritzen and, oh look at those giants on the side of the road, they resemble the zombies that were native to these parts in the 17th Century, the same zombies, incidentally, that taught Louis XIV to ride a horse backwards just before they ate his half-witted brother who they used to hide in the cellar. And George Hincapie has pulled to the back of the field with his hand up wanting some technical assistance from his team due to a 'crevaisson', the French word for puncture, oh no, Big George just wants a drink and a smoke. You may notice George's jersey there...
All the English-speaking cycling commentators don't know when to keep it shut. They give me the runny browns.