Carlton Kirby 'flamme rouge' doping speculation poll

[ClassicomanoLuigi]

Clinic Poll: Kirby Becomes Unnaturally Excited ?

 

[spalco]

I imagine the Eurosport booth is similar to the Mitchell&Webb skits about snooker.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvL-4Pm3Zmw

 

[Jacques (7 ch)]

All of the above?

 

[proffate]

cocaine (powder) and amphetamines (not meth). Also microdoses of LSD

 

[JosephK]

I voted Flakka, but I'm pretty sure Carlton uses a cocktail of Flakka, PCP, Meth, and Jimsonweed tea for his prep, capped off by a good snort of poppers right as the riders reach the final kilometer.

 

[oldcrank]

It is common knowledge that Mr. Kirby uses Lucozade.
Apparently "Blackcurrant Bliss" is his favourite flavour.

 

[Robert5091]

Maybe Landis could send some samples to Kirby ...

 

[the delgados]

Hey, hey!
My man Carlton Kirby does not dabble in any drug other than the natural endorphins excreted when calling the end of a bike race.
Do not think otherwise.
He may have a few glasses of vino while filling dead air 100 km's from the finish, but his finishing call is the best.

 

[GraftPunk]

I went good old fashioned pot belge, why pick just one?

 

[TubularBills]

la crème de la crème in pure cycling passion

& wired for sound.

Soon... everyone will be trying it... pure juice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5Fyanh8LVo

My best guess is blood boosting brain driven adrenaline and endorphins in microsecond increments.

It's definitely an orgasm.

 

[scribers]

I’m going with auto erotic asphyxiation

 

[Armchair Cyclist]

I’m going with auto erotic asphyxiation

As you wish, but what do you think Kirby does?

 

[pastronef]

Kirby is fine. it's Millar/York that would need some amphetamines. low voice, slow, it's very meh. wake up Pippa!

 

[the delgados]

Hey, hey! What the hell is going on here?
I can't go away for more than a month before someone starts dumping on my man, Carlton Kirby.
Aside from imbibing from time to time, I submit that my man is on a steady diet of Allan Lim rice cakes that inspire witty drollery and a penchant to ramp things up at the appropriate time.
He has never tested positive, so he's cleans in my eyes. He's pure as the driven snow.
Enough of this.

 

[Rob5091]

Lugworms?

 

[scribers]

As you wish, but what do you think Kirby does?

Damn. I’ve been slam dunked on!

 

[MartinGT]

Sniffs his own backside

 

[Potomac]

This poll is an outrage.

The Kirbster is high on life!

 

[the delgados]

This poll is an outrage.

The Kirbster is high on life!

Just like some people pretend that riders are on the up and up and are clean as the driven snow, I want to reiterate the fact my man Carlton Kirby has never tested positive and enjoy his masterful play on words. Who cares if he drinks wine at the end of the day?
The man is a wordsmith and a treat to listen to. I'm glad his bosses recognize this and refuse to bow to the braying hounds who want to put him to pasture. He can keep a metaphor going for as long as a Tadej breakaway.

 

[pelotonIQ]

Viagra

 

[the delgados]

pelotonIQ: I hope you're right.
Did you hear my man Carlton Kirby's call during the crescendo of today's stage 1 Catalunya? It was marvelous. The guy is a master wordsmith who can mix metaphors with thrilling commentary at the same time.
My point being here is if your theory is correct, CK will have time between calling thrilling finishes to bike races with getting a leg over with a lover who churns out future CK's for future generations to enjoy.
It's a win-win!

 

[Nick2413]

I can’t get my wife to follow cycling but she loves Carlton Kirby highlight videos. I dreamed of being a professional announcer as a child. Kirby fulfills every aspiration I could have ever imagined.

 

[the delgados]

I can’t get my wife to follow cycling but she loves Carlton Kirby highlight videos. I dreamed of being a professional announcer as a child. Kirby fulfills every aspiration I could have ever imagined.

At risk of going too far off topic, have you or anyone else seen the Pro Cycling Races on Youtube?
They provide a live feed without commentary and I'm falling in love with it. All you hear are ambient noises from whichever camera is being broadcast at the moment. For instance, when the moto-cam is right next to a crash you can hear riders swearing at one another; and when approaching a corner at high speed, you can hear the squeal of brakes followed by gear changes as they accelerate out of a corner.
I find myself looking at a bike race in an entirely different way, and it's pretty cool.
But not as cool as listening to CK whispering in my ear.

 

[Nick2413]

At risk of going too far off topic, have you or anyone else seen the Pro Cycling Races on Youtube?
They provide a live feed without commentary and I'm falling in love with it. All you hear are ambient noises from whichever camera is being broadcast at the moment. For instance, when the moto-cam is right next to a crash you can hear riders swearing at one another; and when approaching a corner at high speed, you can hear the squeal of brakes followed by gear changes as they accelerate out of a corner.
I find myself looking at a bike race in an entirely different way, and it's pretty cool.
But not as cool as listening to CK whispering in my ear.

Interesting. Isn’t that what GCN had where you can mute the commentary and only hear ambient noise? Not sure if what I use now has that option. Bust still would prefer to be able to mute anything that isn’t Carlton Kirby.

 

[Rob5091]

Sorry, but ambient beats Kirby everyday of the week in my book.