Dutch TV's "Fat idiot" Mart Smeets and the Ultimate Lance fairy tale

[Mongol_Waaijer]

Here in Holland we are forced to endure the self fellating and nauseating "journalism" of Mart Smeets, a self confessed Lance worshipper.

Mr Smeets proudly wears his bracelet at all times, and ont he very day that the Novitsky investigation was reported in the media, he managed to get the national broadcaster to show his "interview" with The Sociopath, in which he called Lance (to his face) a "tough guy" a "hero", and asked (almost tearfully) "why do all these people want to hurt you by making things up....after all the good you do?"

Mart looked like he was aroused through the entire charade.

I apologise if this has been reported before, but recently Fat Mart came up with the all time classic Lance fantasy explanation.

This is that he rode faster up a particular climb because his reconnaisance had taught him that this climb had vurtually all left hand bends - so he rode a bike with a shorter left crank to enable him to pedal through the corners without "scraping" - and not one of the other guys had thought of this etc etc

This is priceless - really my all time favourite fanboy foolishness. I mean:

1) Noone should possibly be riding fast enough up mountains where the inside pedal scraping the ground should be an issue

2) Having one crank shorter than the other would probably result in serious injury - on many criteriums all the corners go the same way, but I have never heard of anyone trying one crank shorter than the other

3) How exactly would this explain him finishing several minutes ahead of his rivals? I mean, for a start it isn't true, and even if it was we're talking about a theoretical fraction of a second difference on each corner. Most mountain ascents have +/- 20 bends....do the maths, Mart....

 

[Roland Rat]

Maybe the ball was swollen (Haven couldn't make it over?) requiring him to shorten the crank on that side a little.

 

[R.0.t.O]

This is that he rode faster up a particular climb because his reconnaisance had taught him that this climb had vurtually all left hand bends - so he rode a bike with a shorter left crank to enable him to pedal through the corners without "scraping" - and not one of the other guys had thought of this etc etc

That's hilarious. Was it that famous Tour stage with a mtf up a spiral staircase?

 

[hrotha]

Maybe that explains his crash this year. He was back to using a normal crankset.

 

[sniper]

Here in Holland we are forced to endure the self fellating and nauseating "journalism" of Mart Smeets, a self confessed Lance worshipper.

Mr Smeets proudly wears his bracelet at all times, and ont he very day that the Novitsky investigation was reported in the media, he managed to get the national broadcaster to show his "interview" with The Sociopath, in which he called Lance (to his face) a "tough guy" a "hero", and asked (almost tearfully) "why do all these people want to hurt you by making things up....after all the good you do?"

Mart looked like he was aroused through the entire charade.

Thanks for finally bringing up Fat Mart's ignorance in doping matters. For me, it's been a while since I last saw him (I moved out of Holland a few years back), but I grew up with the guy, and you'Re so completely hitting the nail on the head.
I remember him interviewing Riis (or sticking his head up Riis' ***, rather) asking him similar questions like: "why is everybody falsely accusing you of doping? Are they all jealous?"
A couple of days later, Riis confessed to everything.

Mart's LA fanboyship is indeed disgusting. As far as I remember, regarding doping, Mart and his clan of slap-assed reporters, (e.g. Herbert Dijkstra and former "clean" riders Maarten Ducrot and Michael Boogerd) are as naive as it can possibly get, and in constant denial.

 

[python]

the sh*t that... does not work

i can't resist recalling dan coyle's book where he often quoted the uber-fraudster's obsession with searching an edge or 'the sh*t that works'.

smeets is an ultimate tool if he believes and spreads this kind of tales.

 

[Darryl Webster]

This is that he rode faster up a particular climb because his reconnaisance had taught him that this climb had vurtually all left hand bends - so he rode a bike with a shorter left crank to enable him to pedal through the corners without "scraping" - and not one of the other guys had thought of this etc etc

.

thankfully I didn`t have a mouthful of coffee when I read this!

Have these people had labotomies?

 

[rhubroma]

Thanks for reminding us that the most gullible or cynical folks don't merely exist in America.

With the Lance fanboys, sometimes that's hard to forget.

 

[bobbins]

Is it also true that he only had tread on half of his tyres too?

 

[Mongol_Waaijer]

Is it also true that he only had tread on half of his tyres too?

I heard the tyres were "aged" in Julien de vries's wine cellar to make them faster too.

 

[Digger]

Amazing stuff. So in that guy's eyes no other cyclist had any idea whatsoever what each mountain lookd liked or felt like. They'd never cycled them before, eventhough most are recycled. It's up there with Coyle's assertion that Lance 'literally went hungrier than his rivals'.

 

[simo1733]

I heard the tyres were "aged" in Julien de vries's wine cellar to make them faster too.

Now that is actually true.

 

[JMBeaushrimp]

That's it! Finally some useful info from the Clinic!

I'm racing a six-day and a couple of crits coming up. Forget these half-*ssed measures, I'm pulling my left crank completely off. Watch how fast I'll go...

 

[Hawkwood]

That's it! Finally some useful info from the Clinic!

I'm racing a six-day and a couple of crits coming up. Forget these half-*ssed measures, I'm pulling my left crank completely off. Watch how fast I'll go...

Go the whole hog and lose one of your legs as well, think of the weight savings!

 

[scribe]

Smart Meats

 

[Ferminal]

Smart Meats

Why drag Bertie into it?

 

[Race Radio]

Mart Smeets = BPC

 

[flicker]

I do not know Marts' credentials. I do not think having a shorter crank would help you go faster. I do not think having a shorter crank would hurt anyone.I do think the shorter crank gave my Lance a psycological advantage, which was wonderful.
If one has the psycolgical advantage, and can cut the apex of the switchback,(part of my Lances' magnifceint and wonderful powers) along with windmill like pedalling cadence along with the psycolgical edge given by the shorter crank+ the decreased drag from scraping the dura-ace pedals on the asphalt, there is no doubt an extreme edge given to Lance on the climbing stages. Many great riders train specifically to put time into there rivals on selected stages. Lance wanted the wins much more than anyone else also.

PS Micheal Boogard rules also!

 

[Darryl Webster]

Amazing stuff. So in that guy's eyes no other cyclist had any idea whatsoever what each mountain lookd liked or felt like. They'd never cycled them before, eventhough most are recycled. It's up there with Coyle's assertion that Lance 'literally went hungrier than his rivals'.

Did Coyle realy say that! .. strange comment from a number crunching " scientist" who claimes nutrality and objectivity

 

[BotanyBay]

This is priceless - really my all time favourite fanboy foolishness. I mean:

1) Noone should possibly be riding fast enough up mountains where the inside pedal scraping the ground should be an issue
.

You've gotta give him credit. Not only does he have a good story going at all times, but he does a masterful job at getting people to believe that story. He's been laying down pre-prepared lies for more than a decade to provide an explanation for most everything.

THAT'S reconnaissance.

 

[BotanyBay]

Mart Smeets = BPC

Think so? Probably true.

 

[AngusW]

i can't resist recalling dan coyle's book where he often quoted the uber-fraudster's obsession with searching an edge or 'the sh*t that works'.

smeets is an ultimate tool if he believes and spreads this kind of tales.

Yeah, and the really good stuff was known as "the sh!t that will kill them!"

 

[Digger]

Did Coyle realy say that! .. strange comment from a number crunching " scientist" who claimes nutrality and objectivity

Yes he did at the SCA trial. Unbelievable stuff from a someone holding the position he does. But that's another issue. I lost about three days of my life a year ago debating Coyle with our good friend A Coggan.

 

[BotanyBay]

Yes he did at the SCA trial. Unbelievable stuff from a someone holding the position he does. But that's another issue. I lost about three days of my life a year ago debating Coyle with our good friend A Coggan.

Christ, not rec.bicycles.racing. PLEASE.

 

[Granville57]

I heard the tyres were "aged" in Julien de vries's wine cellar to make them faster too.

Now that is actually true.

I remember seeing that too. I especially like how when they are comparing legendary riders, and Julien says, "I worked for Merckx, I worked for... another rider, I worked for Armstrong..."

He won't speak Lemond's name in the context of that Lance-umentary.