A press release from his Excellency Pat McQuaid, President of the UCI (when Heins away):
Achtung Achtung .......... ** CEASE AND DESIST **
The UCI wish to clarify that the $500,000 donation made by Mr Lance Armstrong was in fact only $100,000.
The UCI wish to clarify the above paragraph and now say it was $25,000.
The UCI wish to clarify that we have no idea how much was given or when and will exercises its right to suspend those who do not suspend judgment - cease and desist.
Furthermore the UCI have checked the Biological Passport of Fabian Cancellara and we can confirm he has never been to Kuala Lumpar and no-one has heard of him - however we gratefully accept his donation and have used this to buy a shredder and a can of petrol for our accountancy department in the fight against transparency.