If you were doping how do you handle the media?

Page 2 - Get up to date with the latest news, scores & standings from the Cycling News Community.
May 3, 2010
2,662
0
0
I'd pander to nationalism and wrap myself in the flag.

I'd also buy off the specialist media. Invite them down to see me 'train' in somewhere warm. Obviously, make it clear that if they start digging on me then it'll be no more exclusive interviews with me.

Most journalists are vain and moronic, so I'd butter them up that way as well. Fans pretending to be journalists - you'll never get busted that way.

I'd also cultivate a cult of personality as well. Maybe start dressing like a **** and pretending I am working class, or perhaps become a 'rent-a-quote' cyclist then any bouts of roid rage I suffer from can be explained as being my 'passion' for winning.

I'd also hire some trolls to monitor forums like this for me as well.
 
Mar 10, 2009
6,158
1
0
Bring a bag of mixed candies that look like pills (sweet tarts, red hots, M&M's, etc.) and grab a handful and eat them always spilling some every time they asked a doping question, stating "What are you talking about? As you turn slightly and expose the excess shammy cream on your underside.". Then own random pets that are known to bite and scratch and always show off the latest pet injury during press conferences and take one to the press conference for added value. Have an unlit cigarette always in my mouth when not ridding. In the event of sighting a reporter doing actual investigative reporting (snooping around, yea never going to happen) do a role reversal and start following them around.
 
Sep 29, 2012
12,197
0
0
ElChingon said:
Bring a bag of mixed candies that look like pills (sweet tarts, red hots, M&M's, etc.) and grab a handful and eat them always spilling some every time they asked a doping question, stating "What are you talking about? As you turn slightly and expose the excess shammy cream on your underside.". Then own random pets that are known to bite and scratch and always show off the latest pet injury during press conferences and take one to the press conference for added value. Have an unlit cigarette always in my mouth when not ridding. In the event of sighting a reporter doing actual investigative reporting (snooping around, yea never going to happen) do a role reversal and start following them around.
+ wear bandaids in the crook of your elbow.
 
Jun 13, 2009
180
0
0
alitogata said:
[off topic]Without kidding now and without want to be mean, I don't believe that LA had brain cancer at all, and I say that because I know people that had this disease and believe me non of them got out from a brain surgery unharmed. [/off topic- I apologize for any inconvenience]
I had tumor the size of a small chickens egg removed. Other than losing my hearing in one ear (nerve from ear to brain was severed during surgery) and some weakness in one side of my face (trigeminal [sp?] nerve damage), I have suffered no ongoing related health issues.

A friend recently had a tumor removed via keyhole surgery and you'd never know he'd ever had anything wrong. Of course, this procedure was not available when LA (or I) went under the knife. It really depends on where the tumor is as to what side effects are likely.

Really, I was just one massive fraud away from being a GT contender!:D
 
Jun 13, 2009
180
0
0
The first thing I would do is unlearn English, then only conduct interviews Spanish.

Failing that, a few trips on my private jet for the media and $$$ for the UCI and all should be sweet. ..................... for a while:rolleyes:
 
Aug 12, 2009
3,639
0
0
alitogata said:
[off topic]Without kidding now and without want to be mean, I don't believe that LA had brain cancer at all, and I say that because I know people that had this disease and believe me non of them got out from a brain surgery unharmed. [/off topic- I apologize for any inconvenience]
It occurred to me years ago that Armstrong's camp may have exaggerated the claims of how progressive his cancer bout was. I do find it odd that he had no cranial surgery. No scars. All chemo. Fully effective. But that's been touched on here before.

The LA patented rule book works. But it is conditional. You need to have really been sick. Sick enough that any exaggeration gets overlooked. Cancer is cancer. It brings with it sympathy and empathy. Step two, create charity to help your image. Then use charity selfishly to spruik personal image and for personal profit.

The Armstrong method works, but it is reliant upon the psyche and conniving and lying traits of the perpetrator. Armstrong is a brilliant liar. The recent attempts from Wiggins to mirror Armstrong have worked, but only to a degree and mostly with the British exclusively. The convenient timing of the Queens jubilee and the Olympics helped hog the headlines and Wiggins love in for LA these past few years. It also covered a lot of the idiotic and hypocritical stances that revealed damning and poor character traits possessed by Wiggins whilst the USADA business unfolded.

So there are exclusion to the effectiveness of the LA method copied by Sky. It does not last and is not as effective the second time.

Personally, I'd say you are better off copying someone like Evans. Keep your damn trap shut. Say nothing, invest in some PR training so you can meander your way through the hard questions that do arise and again, just say generic stuff. Look at Contador as another good example. Says almost nothing that isn't just generic answers. Doesn't sway one way or another, and focuses on straight answers. They avoid the 'emotionally invested' replies or the 'full blow genius' lies that scream you are a doper or scared out of your wits. Keep it calm, cool and collected and say nothing. That way you're not a hypocrite and you don't draw the suspicions of the Clinic. Getting into a public biff on the road with a blatantly obvious doper doesn't hurt either. You get sympathy from the anti-doping brigade in the form of them looking to the side at your doping over the blatant doper.

Contrast Contador to other Spanish riders at the end of last year, like LuLu, Valverde and Rodriguez. They went full genius. But there in lies the real determining factor on how to conduct yourself as a doper. Have a brain. Most pro's aren't very smart. Below average for most. Smart cyclists are few and far between. Evans and Contador happen to be two. Same with Basso. They say very little and give very little, even when the spotlight is on them. IMO their play books have been the best. If you're not a big winner, but still classy rider, I say mimic Oscar Freire. His image went up a lot of points when he blamed Valverde at the Worlds. Imply that you would have won if the obvious doper hadn't been greedy and out performed by a better doper on the day. That's Golden PR profiting. Makes you look clean by comparison.

The most amusing? Hahaha, not by a long shot. I like the full blown genius methodology and the LA play book keeps the Clinic spinning each year. Never underestimate human stupidity on both sides of the ball park. The PR BS speakers and their audience.
 
Oct 21, 2012
1,106
0
0
I'd keep quiet, personally. I'd answer doping questions with 'no comment', or 'I'm not in a position to know anything about how widespread doping is in the sport outside of myself and my team mates'.

Much better than all these Omerta types 'The peloton has cleaned up! Nobody has touched a syringe since 2006!'
 
Mar 10, 2009
6,158
1
0
Alphabet said:
I'd keep quiet, personally. I'd answer doping questions with 'no comment', or 'I'm not in a position to know anything about how widespread doping is in the sport outside of myself and my team mates'.

Much better than all these Omerta types 'The peloton has cleaned up! Nobody has touched a syringe since 2006!'
Your first paragraph describes the Omerta Type :confused:
 
Sep 22, 2012
542
0
0
ljpoyz said:
I'd probably go completely opposite to this "Guys like Lance Armstrong and Laurent Jalabert came back as better riders after they took a break. I hope the same happens to me." - Cadel Evans :confused:
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/evans-confident-for-new-season-after-good-start-in-oman
Why?
That is a stupid thing to say. For a cyclist to in any way liken themselves to Lance Armstrong is staggering. Unless he was trying to say he is going to dope like mad this year I cannot see much similarities in the breaks either.
 
Jul 9, 2010
127
0
0
ljpoyz said:
I'd probably go completely opposite to this "Guys like Lance Armstrong and Laurent Jalabert came back as better riders after they took a break. I hope the same happens to me." - Cadel Evans :confused:
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/evans-confident-for-new-season-after-good-start-in-oman
Speaking of Jaja, how come he never did well in the TdF?

And concerning this thread - I'd say nothing at all, and if the press kept on pressing (hey!), I'd say something like "If I'd say I don't dope, you won't believe me, and keep on pestering me. If I'd say I do, you'll tear me to shreds. Tell me, why should I even consider answering?"
 
Sep 29, 2012
12,197
0
0
When asked if he had ever doped, the Australian, Dear Wiggo replied, "Fck no".

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/hushovd-angry-at-armstrong-for-doping
When asked if he had ever doped, the Norwegian replied, “The only thing I can say is that I know that I'm sitting here with a clear conscience. Meanwhile, people who have doped said the same thing before, but in my head, and here I have it safe and fine,” pointing to his heart.
:confused:

That sounds like a, "It's only doping if you get caught" admission to me.
 
Sep 29, 2012
12,197
0
0
Ferminal said:
Natural for someone who is more worried about the damage to cycling's image caused by Armstrong than the actual doping.
Yeah I see what you mean. There was a bit more "took us to the lofty heights then dragged all back down again" vs cheat other riders, wasn't there?
 
Feb 8, 2013
58
0
8,680
That is why I said I would go the opposite of his comment! :)
An incredibly stupid to the point of being bordeline unbelievable.

Mad Elephant Man said:
Why?
That is a stupid thing to say. For a cyclist to in any way liken themselves to Lance Armstrong is staggering. Unless he was trying to say he is going to dope like mad this year I cannot see much similarities in the breaks either.
 
You guys missed the "I am clean, but am close friends with WADA-banned guy who distributes dope and there's nothing wrong with that." line dropped by a Track and Field medal winner during her medal interview.

The cycling version would be, "I am close family friends with Luis Garcia Del Moral plus the coach Pepe Marti, and the guy that owns my team also does doping enforcement. I'm clean though. Never tested positive."
 

ASK THE COMMUNITY