Lame joke corner

[craig1985]

Ok:

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob

You know, forum rules etc.

 

[rickshaw]

LOng time ago there was a fashion for "sick jokes". I remember even having a book full of them. Example.

"Hey Bob, how did you get that flat tire?"

"I ran over a milk bottle in the road."

"Didn't you see it?"

"Naw, the kid had it under his coat."

 

[Michielveedeebee]

A typical Flemish jok:

Why do the dutchies go shopping on their knees?

To find the lowest prices ^^

 

[Michielveedeebee]

Let's not begin with Asian jokes please, they're Wong and Sikh

 

[Hugh Januss]

OK. Jesus is on the cross, a crowd gathered in front of him. Suddenly he raises his head and calls out to the deciple John who is in the crowd.
John tries to go to him but is grabbed and thrown back into the crowd by the Roman soldiers on guard.
A time passes and again Jesus raises his head and calls out to John. Again John is thrown back this time with a warning not to try it again. But a third time Jesus calls out. John is afraid, but what can he do? It's Jesus calling. So again he tries to get to him. THis time the Romans grab him and nail him to his own cross and raise it next to Jesus, saying. "You want to talk to him, here you go."
Up on the cross next to Jesus, John turns too him and says. "Yes my Lord what is it you want of me?"
Jesus replies. "Look John, you can see your house from here."

 

[Anonymous]

I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, The Bus That couldn't Slow Down.

 

[krebs303]

On a mountain top were a magical group of gnome like people call trids, in all the world there are only three of them. They lived their with their Rabbi.

One day a ogre climbed the mountain and kicked a trid off the mountain.

"haha, what fun!" he said, as he kicked the second trid to a quick though grisly death.

Finally, the Rabbi decided it was time to take action, "Stop that, if you kick that trid of the mountain, the world would never see another trid again! Kick me off the mountain instead!".

"Hahaha, Silly Rabbi, kicks are for trids!"

 

[usedtobefast]

Ok:

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob

You know, forum rules etc.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs on a wall???


Art

 

[krebs303]

What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
Stu.

 

[usedtobefast]

what do call a man with no arms or legs in the bushes?


Russell

 

[Hugh Januss]

They had to cancel the Leper Hockey Championship game........there was a faceoff in the corner.

 

[krebs303]

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

 

[Alpe d'Huez]

Boy, these really are lame.

 

[krebs303]

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.

 

[gregod]

Q: what happens when you step on a grape?
A: it let's out a little whine.

 

[Hugh Januss]

Q: How many Los Angelinos does it take to screw in a light bulb.













A: None, they don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

 

[krebs303]

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

 

[JA.Tri]

I am definitely in on this!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get their old age pension....get it? (No) Neither did they.

 

[JA.Tri]

Why is good bread like the sun?

It's light when it rises.

 

[JA.Tri]

What similarity do fleas and trains share?

They both run on sleepers (so do my cats for that matter!).


I have some "shaggy dog jokes" but they would get me kicked off the forum.

 

[Hugh Januss]

What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?









They are both fun to ride until your friends see you on them.

 

[Michielveedeebee]

What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?
They are both fun to ride until your friends see you on them.

We actually held a moped competition last year

 

[Fourier]

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?



A: two, but don't you wonder how they got in there...

 

[Havetts]

Q: Its white and if it falls out of a tree your refrigerator is broken, what is it?


















A: Your refrigerator.

 

[Nielsa]

Lame pickup line: "Your p**sy is a grave and I'm dying to get in."