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Lance Armstrong will win Stage......

Jul 11, 2010
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....................... 21

'Lance's lawyer Tim Henman has just confirmed that he will be racing in the newly scheduled Stage 21. Also taking part will be the whole of Euskaltel Euskadi, Levi Leipheimer, Franck Schleck, Bradley Wiggins and Jan Ullrich.

Predictions are as follows -

Armstrong and Ullrich will recreate "the look" before Ullrich retires when they pass the first cake shop. All of the Euskaltel riders cause a pile up leaving them bleeding on the road, Armstrong crashes too of course which ruins his chances of breaking the sound barrier which Sherwen and Liggett think "he probably would have done". Schleck falls and breaks his other shoulder but carries on only to stop when he sees his crying brother at the roadside. They then make a vow only to return to the Tour if they can do it on a tandem.
Despite all the pre stage self hype Bradley Wigans literally disappears rumoured to have gone to a Paul Weller lookalike competition as he was sure he could "at least get a podium there".
In a tense finish Armstrong battles up to the line, Leipheimer is clearly the stronger rider but looks bewildered at the prospect of having to actually lead a race. Levi continues to follow even when Armstrong's wheel comes off and he gets off and walks the last 400m with the rest of his bike.

Lance then claims victory and says he has "morally earned the yellow jersey". With that he goes into retirement which includes a morning routine of editing Wikipedia so it states that he was the winner of the 2010 TDF in the hope that eventually everyone will just forget and think he really did win.'