Limericks, Poems, and Haiku

[Jacques de Molay]

Re: Froome Talk Only

And speaking of Twitter...

There's been limericks going 'round.

This appears to be one of the better offerings.

Louise ‏@Swift__Girl Dec 4

There once was a biker called Chris,
Who claimed to have squeaky clean piss,
What's up with his plasma,
Bilharzia and asthma?
The "pseudoscientists" think something's amiss!

And my own...

From Kenya emerged a great winner
His critics declared him a sinner
He lost all his fat
Some asked, How is that?
It was Cound, she stopped serving dinner

 

[Merckx index]

Re: Froome Talk Only

And speaking of Twitter...

There's been limericks going 'round.

This appears to be one of the better offerings.

Louise ‏@Swift__Girl Dec 4

There once was a biker called Chris,
Who claimed to have squeaky clean piss,
What's up with his plasma,
Bilharzia and asthma?
The "pseudoscientists" think something's amiss!

And my own...

From Kenya emerged a great winner
His critics declared him a sinner
He lost all his fat
Some asked, How is that?
It was Cound, she stopped serving dinner

An ordinary rider named Froome
In three weeks in August went zoom
When asked how he did it
His data he done hid it
And said just weight loss I presume

A TDF winner named Dawg
His old power attempted to log
But holes in the FAX
Were like a road race with tacks
So said a poster named hog

A young lady named Cound
Told her hubby to gain some quick pounds
Not today or tomorrow
But on this FAX that I will borrow
And then will claim it as found

 

[thehog]

Re: Froome Talk Only

And speaking of Twitter...

There's been limericks going 'round.

This appears to be one of the better offerings.

Louise ‏@Swift__Girl Dec 4

There once was a biker called Chris,
Who claimed to have squeaky clean piss,
What's up with his plasma,
Bilharzia and asthma?
The "pseudoscientists" think something's amiss!

And my own...

From Kenya emerged a great winner
His critics declared him a sinner
He lost all his fat
Some asked, How is that?
It was Cound, she stopped serving dinner

An ordinary rider named Froome
In three weeks in August went zoom
When asked how he did it
His data he done hid it
And said just weight loss I presume

A TDF winner named Dawg
His old power attempted to log
But holes in the FAX
Were like a road race with tacks
So said a poster named hog

A young lady named Cound
Told her hubby to gain some quick pounds
Not today or tomorrow
But on this FAX that I will borrow
And then will claim it as found

That Sir, is brilliant!

 

[JackRabbitSlims]

Re: Froome Talk Only

And speaking of Twitter...

There's been limericks going 'round.

This appears to be one of the better offerings.

Louise ‏@Swift__Girl Dec 4

There once was a biker called Chris,
Who claimed to have squeaky clean piss,
What's up with his plasma,
Bilharzia and asthma?
The "pseudoscientists" think something's amiss!

And my own...

From Kenya emerged a great winner
His critics declared him a sinner
He lost all his fat
Some asked, How is that?
It was Cound, she stopped serving dinner

An ordinary rider named Froome
In three weeks in August went zoom
When asked how he did it
His data he done hid it
And said just weight loss I presume

A TDF winner named Dawg
His old power attempted to log
But holes in the FAX
Were like a road race with tacks
So said a poster named hog

A young lady named Cound
Told her hubby to gain some quick pounds
Not today or tomorrow
But on this FAX that I will borrow
And then will claim it as found

Very clever - well done!

Chapeau

 

[Jacques de Molay]

Re: Froome Talk Only

They call him The Dawg, and he’s fast
‘twas not quite the case in his past
But up against Cobo
He turned into Robo
Which left longtime bike fans aghast!


The Marginal Gains of Team Sky
In this case don’t really apply
The engine was there
His talent quite rare
So why pay that Kerrison guy?


He did not grow up near the Thames
His childhood stories though, gems
He once faced a rhino
In fact, an albino!
But now he just stares at his stems

 

[observer]

These limericks are fantastic

Now that's talent

 

[Savant12]

Re: Froome Talk Only

Out of the continent of Africa
His engine was talent or magica
In the past he was stifled
One too many he trifled
Oh that fax found in the attica

 

[danielovichdk2]

Re: Froome Talk Only

They call him The Dawg, and he’s fast
‘twas not quite the case in his past
But up against Cobo
He turned into Robo
Which left longtime bike fans aghast!


The Marginal Gains of Team Sky
In this case don’t really apply
The engine was there
His talent quite rare
So why pay that Kerrison guy?


He did not grow up near the Thames
His childhood stories though, gems
He once faced a rhino
In fact, an albino!
But now he just stares at his stems

Absolutely brilliant!

 

[Saint Unix]

There once was a rider named Chris
When he rode people asked "What is this?
Something weird is behind it
And by gosh we will find it!"
But Chris gave them another bloke's piss

There was a white guy from Nairobi
Who soon moved down south of the Gobi
His riding stayed awful
So he did things unlawful
And hid them with the help of Adobe

He grew up where it often is sunny
And proved quite a menace to bunnies
His contract running out
He took the easy route
And now he spends his days rolling in money

He would ride 'till his legs felt real sour
Then turn off that which measured the power
He'd say to Lil' Richie
"My girlfriend's too bitchy
Let's just ride for another four hours!"

 

[danielovichdk2]

Re:

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

There once was a rider named Chris
When he rode people asked "What is this?
Something weird is behind it
And by gosh we will find it!"
But Chris gave them another bloke's piss

There was a white guy from Nairobi
Who soon moved down south of the Gobi
His riding stayed awful
So he did things unlawful
And hid them with the help of Adobe

He grew up where it often is sunny
And proved quite a menace to bunnies
His contract running out
He took the easy route
And now he spends his days rolling in money

He would ride 'till his legs felt real sour
Then turn off that which measured the power
He'd say to Lil' Richie
"My girlfriend's too bitchy
Let's just ride for another four hours!"

 

[Merckx index]

An ambitious researcher named Swart
Measured Froomey’s lungs and his heart
But much of the Clinic
Turned into cynics
And tore his twitter apart

A noted physiologist Coggan
No doubt regretted his login
Cause a poster used Coyle
To his day try to spoil
And give him an ache in his noggin

 

[Jacques de Molay]

Re:

But much of the Clinic
Turned into cynics

"Turned into" cynics, did they?


The Clinic? They’re crazy, they’re sick
Apart every word they will pick
But when stories break
And much is at stake
They really provide quite a kick


The goal was a Brit win in France
But doing it clean, not like Lance
They started with Wiggo
His ego quite biggo
Then Froome took control of the dance

 

[Jspear]

Guys all your poetry is just lovely.

 

[Ironhead Slim]

Re: Froome Talk Only

I am spitting coffee on my screen with these limericks. Thank you!!

 

[TourOfSardinia]

To go uphill faster just means
no pasta, more Aicar, less proteins.
They may piss in your face
but still try to race
as if you were totally cleans.

 

[thehog]

Re: Froome Talk Only

There was a rider called Dawg,
Who used to ride like he was in a fog,
They questioned his form,
So he decided to transform,
to point of 'oh not norm'.

The Bots said he was clean,
so don't post things mean,
they said 'he just broke the chain, of his parasitical pain,'
'Yes you see, using those marginal gains'.

Now he has data,
with a engine that's faster,
it wasn't that he rode like butter,
it was he just he was fatter.

So no more pushing Hendo
The Dawg is stupendo,
No longer round,
since he married a Cound.
No longer slow, he just goes just like flo jo.

 

[Carols]

I don't usually visit the clinic but someone told me I should go read the poems here. Guys you have tears running down my face I'm laughing so hard!

 

[Saint Unix]

There was once a white Kenyan weakling
Who was mediocre, honestly speaking
When he took all the dope
He said, "God, I hope
that's the end of that damn domestiquing."

 

[Irondan]

Re:

There was once a white Kenyan weakling
Who was mediocre, honestly speaking
When he took all the dope
He said, "God, I hope
that's the end of that damn domestiquing."

Okay, this one was good. Really good.

 

[Jacques de Molay]

Re:

A boy who steals bunnies from school
To feed to his python? Not cool!
Now stealing the races
From fans with long faces
The Frenchman feels played for a fool


This Kenyan’s a fraud and a jerk!
Cried warriors typing from work
I’m done with this sport!
‘Tis my last retort!
In truth, they continue to lurk


His path did not follow LeMond’s
No, some feel he’s fueled more like Bonds
Sir David explains
The marginal gains
While waving his magical wands

 

[gillan1969]

Re: Froome Talk Only

may as well


After crashing his way off the ramp
to Europe he did decamp
with sandshoes and steel, he kept it real
but his career was like a squib who was damp


now the DSs all thought he was crap
but sir dave, he never saw that
even after banning Nutella, pictures of Alberto and stella
his career was nearly a wrap

enter stage left Ms Cound
and off came pound after pound
after Poland to Spain, attacking again and again
until Wiggo they did astound

How did he do it they asked
and so Moore and Swart were tasked
with concocting a story that wasn’t jackanory
and wouldn’t leave the clinic aghast

However Froome he’s not very clever
and the Hog could burrow forever
Swart was on the defensive for not being so pensive
and with Moore was perchance a conniver

 

[Saint Unix]

He wrote to Sir Dave in a letter
"Give me a chance, I'll be better!
It won't be in vain
just take me to Spain
I'm surely no worse than Lars Petter!"

 

[Poursuivant]

Re: Froome Talk Only

And speaking of Twitter...

There's been limericks going 'round.

This appears to be one of the better offerings.

Louise ‏@Swift__Girl Dec 4

There once was a biker called Chris,
Who claimed to have squeaky clean piss,
What's up with his plasma,
Bilharzia and asthma?
The "pseudoscientists" think something's amiss!

And my own...

From Kenya emerged a great winner
His critics declared him a sinner
He lost all his fat
Some asked, How is that?
It was Cound, she stopped serving dinner

An ordinary rider named Froome
In three weeks in August went zoom
When asked how he did it
His data he done hid it
And said just weight loss I presume

A TDF winner named Dawg
His old power attempted to log
But holes in the FAX
Were like a road race with tacks
So said a poster named hog

A young lady named Cound
Told her hubby to gain some quick pounds
Not today or tomorrow
But on this FAX that I will borrow
And then will claim it as found

My, how the mighty have fallen:|

 

[Merckx index]

A thread started by Jacques
Posted limericks with serious sock
The stanzas were timed
And everything rhymed
And all players equally mocked

Whether fans like it or not
The story is just about watts
If you really have max
As claimed on the FAX
Cause if you don’t a theory is shot

A key is power at exhaust
There the race is won or lost
If Froome’s level of lactic
Makes his power galactic
Then he rides with much lower cost

Some say he could be efficient
And sound like they’re almost wishin’
Doing more with less
But it’s all just a guess
Cause transparency's not part of the mission

 

[Jacques de Molay]

Mods, it may well be time to shuffle all the limericks off into their own thread, no?


These limericks have got out of hand
Most certainly not what I planned
The fun of Froome bashing
Is not worth threads crashing
Please move them before I get banned