Scott SoCal said:
theres a difference between being bullied and being challenged.
Yes, but what you should add is that the line between the two is not the same for everyone. What one person accepts as a challenge another may feel is bullying. You provide an obvious example later in your post when you say you’ve been subject to death threats (if you’re referring to what I think you’re referring to, technically that wasn’t a death threat, but the distinction isn’t important), but felt it was worth it from gaining more understanding of someone else’s perspective. If you can look at it in that way, that’s admirable, but I think it’s unreasonable to expect everyone else to conform to that standard. IMO, you have either a very thick skin or a very high pain threshold, but not everyone else does, nor should anyone be criticized or belittled for not being like this.
In fact, I think there's a strong correlation here: people who are the least sensitive to/affected by personal attacks on themselves tend also to be those who are least sensitive to/appreciative of the effect of such attacks on others. It’s actually not that uncommon to be able to tolerate attacks on oneself, and it’s also not that uncommon to feel great empathy for attacks on others. What in my experience is quite rare is to be capable of both at the same time. Thus not only Scott but others here who believe the mods are overreacting feel this way because they themselves don’t experience what they regard as abuse. They either always had or have developed a high tolerance for a certain level of discourse, which not only protects them from feeling hurt, but also makes it more difficult for them to understand the hurt others feel. More sensitive souls self-select out of the thread, so what’s left is a relatively small group of people who are comfortable with both attacking and being attacked.
Mutual abuse and bullying does happen but it's obvious and when those that do it cool off there's almost always some form of apology.
I can only speak from my own experience, but I’ve been subject to what I consider—let’s not say abuse, but definitely behavior that’s against the stated rules, and which led to a suspension (not just the most recent case, but others)—and I’ve never received an apology for any of it. I’m not complaining, I’ve never expected one, but the notion that when people cool off they apologize, the matter is over, and they develop more respect for each other is not one I’ve often seen play out. Not saying it never happens, but I’d say just the opposite is at least equally likely, the people involved become sensitized, so that when an offending issue arises again, the threshold is crossed even sooner.
firm discussion is not equal to abuse.
I think the standard used to distinguish the two is "play the ball, not the man". Attack someone's ideas, not the person. I've frankly never bought into the notion that there's a clear line between the two. We are in fact defined by what we think, and when our beliefs are challenged, we tend to take that as a challenge to our identity. Nowhere is this more obvious than in politics, where reams of studies have shown how our identity shapes our political beliefs.
According to this play the ball notion, calling someone a stupid idiot is not allowed, but calling his views stupid and idiotic is. What's the difference? If your views are stupid and idiotic, doesn't that make you a stupid idiot in that regard? Of course, your views on one particular issue aren't everything about who you are, but they are some of it. So are we saying it's all right to attack part of a person, but not all of him?
I don't have a solution to this problem. I've certainly called some ideas stupid, as a scientist I'd be a discredit to my profession if I didn't in some cases, but at the least I think one does have to be very aware of this problem.