I swiped this from Velonews comments and it is appropriately epic-
All credit to SD for this one:
Webster, man of godly power,
Tempted by fell pharma's tower,
Though made of stern and sterner stuff
Foundered hard at Tulsa Tough.
Sinews hard and muscles taut
His speed enhanced by things he bought,
And used, 'midst Okies' toughest race
To eke the ninety-first-est place.
His tawny skin awash in sweat
Great Josh peeled back the lycra net
And gripping tight 'twixt nail and thumb
The stream from shrunken nub he wrung.
In jackets white, like dogs gone feral
USADA testers kept all sterile,
Every drip and drab and drop
They curried back to their lab shop.
Where tests they ran upon his pee
Revealed inconsistency
That shew'd without a shred of doubt
That what went in was what came out.
Indeed, in races he'd contested
Varied drugs that he'd ingested,
Proved the source of godlike speed
In the metabolites he peed.
Oh boldione! Oh danazol!
Oh EPO! Clenbuterol!
Tho' you sped up his muscles' twitch
He's now head-first thrown in the ditch.
The sport at which he loved to play
Now asterisked, his resume
Forever marked, and fallen low
For as ye reap, so shall ye sow.