I think it was a very bold decision by ASO to extend the Tour de l’Avenir to three weeks. I mean, sure, they’ve been tending towards these overly short mountain stages for a few years now, but when you consider that we’re talking two and a half weeks into a race, the cumulative fatigue effect will mean that the espoirs will surely create acti…well, the 2019 Tour de France. As noted by guncha we can’t give a concrete evaluation because a few details are missing; after all, ASO could of course surprise us with some really interesting curveballs in some of the flat stages, that could keep us on the edge of…
…speed seemed strange to me. We drove so quickly that in half an hour we reached the Spanish border. However, there are railroads everywhere in Europe now, and steamships drive very fast. Spain is a strange land: when we entered the first room I saw a lot of people with shaved heads. I guessed, however, that they must be either grandees or soldiers, since they shave their heads. The behaviour of the lord chancellor, who led me by the arm, seemed extremely strange to…
*blink* *blink*
Ah, that’s shaken it off. Where was I? Oh yes, the 2019 Tour de France route. It’s… well, I’m struggling to come up with reasons that I shouldn’t give this the full hepatitis / 10. This is almost upsetting from the details we’ve been given and I’m really hoping that ASO have some interesting surprises in store for us when the full details of the stages we’ve yet to see come out.
Does your boss know you’ve come to see me? Did you leave the van parked outside? Yes, did you know they used to have this race that went all the way from Milan to San Remo in a single day?
Firstly, we already knew about the Brussels beginning, and that is a pretty godawful way to get going. What we’ve been presented is, if Grand Départ maps were full Grand Tours, the full 2009 Tour level of awful. Way to take away literally any possible meaning to the first stage, wilfully avoiding every potential obstacle that could give us anything other than a snooze fest, and then that classic fetish of recent Grand Tours, the TTT. I know we’ve been over it a dozen times already, but the TTT does not achieve anything that an ITT can achieve without imbalancing the parcours further in favour of those who are already advantaged by the strength of their respective teams. And if the biggest problem for the spectacle in recent years has been that the strength of one team has led to them exerting an excessive amount of control, then the absolute first thing that needs to be taken out of the route is a TTT, because this will generally put the teams best suited to controlling the race at the head of the field.
Stage 3 is the first time we see something that could potentially be of interest, although looking at that finishing map, that final rise before the uphill finish - which looks to be as steep or steeper than the final ramp - climbs 105m in a little over 2km so the average is at most 5,1%; without knowing the roads they’re on it’s hard to tell if that stands the chance of being decisive as we’ve had that little Croix-Rousses climb in Lyon be on wide roads and won by sprinters, but not have too dissimilar stats from the Côte de Cadoudal which was very selective in 2008. They might have dug out some narrow or tricky roads that would help to produce some early time gaps.
No, no, I swear, Claudio Chiapucci was a real person. I didn’t make it up. I promise! That happened!
The Vosges are actually pretty decent; I worry that stage 6 will neutralise stage 5, but still. The problem that I have, however, is simply an issue of complete saturation with regards to Planche des Belles Filles. This will be its fourth time in Le Tour in seven editions; in the time since its introduction it has also appeared twice in the Tour Alsace and twice in La Route de France. In seven years we’ll have seen it eight times. And it’s not like it’s even that good a climb - it’s that kind of mid-length but steep climb that the Vuelta has by the bucketload; it’s not as good or as interesting a climb as Peña Cabarga, Urkiola, Cordal, Más de la Costa or Xorret del Catí. And adding that extra 800m sterrato at the end may build up a lot of hype, but it just increases the likelihood that everything gets left until then. Not to mention that ASO will probably give Côte des Chevrères cat.1 again to artificially inflate the on-paper difficulty of the race even though it’s significantly shorter than Planche des Belles Filles and even that should probably be cat.2. Even Unipublic probably wouldn’t give Chevrères cat.1!
The Saint-Etienne stage is our first glimpse of what seems to be a new ASO tactic, to continue to legitimise their tendency towards short stages by ensuring that all of the longer stages are boring. This can also be seen elsewhere in the mountain blocks, where they have specifically gone out of their way to make sure that the longer mountain stages will not incentivise action, because then they can point out that the short stages begat action and therefore they are the wave of the future. Although to be honest, at this stage, it’s become a self-fulfilling prophecy; the short mountain stages do indeed produce action, but that’s because they’re the only game in town when it comes to mountain stages as it appears we’re on our way to seeing queen stages become a thing of the past. See, a well-designed long mountain stage can incentivise action just as much as a well-designed short mountain stage. The Schleck stage in 2011 was 200km. Sestriere 1995 was 190. Monte Petrano 2009 was 240. Aprica 2010 was 195, Sestriere 2015 was 195. Rifugio Gardeccia 2011 was 230. What do they all have in common? They didn’t suck. But we don’t look at them and go “those races were great! We need more long mountain stages!” - so why do we look at, say, Le Semnoz 2013, Alpe d’huez 2011 and Andalo 2016 and say “we need more short mountain stages!”?
In fact, before Contador launched his move on the way up the Télégraphe seven years ago, short mountain stages weren’t a byword for excitement at all. They were experimented with in the early 2000s in the Vuelta, without any particular success (the 136km stage to Arcalis, 130km to Ávila and 128km to Abantos in the 2000 edition being particularly notable), and of course the 2004 Giro tried to go for a ‘more humane’ route to keep focus on Italy’s sprint superstars, with the last three mountain stages being 153, 118 and 122km between them. And ironically, the only stage from that awful edition that anybody remembers fondly is the admittedly excellent stage to Pfalzen, which was… 217km long.
A short mountain stage does serve a purpose, and, when used correctly, it can be a real addition to a race, because it doesn’t discourage attacking on a hard multi-col stage before it, but cumulative fatigue can mean that it is more effective than its meagre profile would suggest sometimes - like in the 2016 Vuelta where the easy Formigal stage was turned into a massacre because nobody was afraid of it compared to the 200km Aubisque stage, but that meant people had raced too hard in the Aubisque stage to fully recover, or indeed the 2011 Tour which was the genesis of this fad - notwithstanding that had the Schlecks not raced in a manner so tame that it made Andy and Contador holding hands like a pair of giggling schoolchildren on Tourmalet the year before look like Contador and Rasmussen on the Aubisque, then Andy would never have taken that risk on the Agnello and the short mountain stage the next day may never have been as good causing Prudhomme to mistakenly believe that backloading everything and short mountain stages is all you need for a critically acclaimed race (thanks for nothing, Andy). Next year’s Giro putting the short stage in the Valle d’Aosta after a hard MTF is likewise a positive use of the trope.
…to be a general simply to see how they’ll fawn and perform all those various courtly tricks and equivocations, and then to tell them I spit on them both. Devil take it. How annoying! I’ve torn the stupid dog’s letter to shreds.
December 3
It can’t be! Lies! The wedding won’t take place! So what if he’s a kammerjunker. It’s nothing more than a dignity; it’s not anything visible that you can take in your hands. He’s not going to have a third eye on his forehead because he’s a kammerjunker…
Here though, it’s just… eugh. In the Pyrenees the short stage doesn’t serve any purpose because you can’t be scared into preserving your energy in the only ITT of the race the day before, and it's to my absolute least favourite HC mountain in the world (well, debatable. Arcalis is not as overused and probably doesn't deserve the HC categorization it is given, but it is awful. Tourmalet is not as bad a climb, but is so ridiculously leant on that every rider knows every inch of it by now and ASO just chuck it out there every year knowing that simpletons whose only knowledge of bike racing is the Kraftwerk song will know the name and think this somehow makes the route good), and then in the Alps we have two back to back like it’s the 2004 Giro or something. And the harder one is the second one, neutering the first one further. Awesome show, guys, great job. Altitude is the only saving grace. The mountaintop finishes are at the most hateful of locations, save for Val Thorens, and that stage could be so many hundreds of times better. Devil take it. And not Didi either. The only long mountain stage of the Alps features climbing up the easier side of the Galibier - and not after the Agnel this time - and is still probably the nearest thing the route has to a decent mountain stage. Then we have the short stage fetishizing stage that completely wastes Izoard (Mont-Cenis…) and considering it’s over a decade since we saw the highest pass in France (the actual Col at Bonette is lower, but the loop road over to the Cime de la Bonette is the one that goes up to 2800m) and Tignes last time gave us a classic breakaway ride (of the kind rendered obsolete by the progressive anæmia blighting mountain stages in recent years), it’s a telling indictment that the only thing I’m actually looking forward to about this stage is seeing the Bessans biathlon facilities as we might see the Fourcades and Justine Braisaz and co cheering on Romain Bardet by the roadside. With the much harder MTF the following day and without sufficient difficulties in the stage itself, I just hope I’m wrong about this one.
And I haven’t even mentioned the ITT yet. 27km? 27km. TWENTY SEVEN. I mean, for Christ’s sake. For Allah’s sake. For Buddha’s sake. For the sake of all nine million deities of Shinto. Back in the 1970s José Manuel Fuente, a rider whose time trial would have been brought in for questioning on suspicion of terrorist offences had he been Basque, won a Vuelta despite the only mountaintop finishes being Formigal and Arrate. Even then there was 36km of ITT. The short “set the scene” ITT in the 2008 Tour - which was won by vaunted Cancellara-clone Carlos Sastre of course - was longer than this. There are Grand Tours in recent memory - that were actually quite well received by fans in fact - that had more than double this distance in ONE ITT (the 2015 Giro, for the record). And to balance out those mountains in this monolithic, epic 27km time trial... they've put a couple of hills in it.
Now, the Vuelta reacted to seeing small time gaps in anaemic mountain stages by going one way, deciding to spam that style of stage because “small gaps x lots of times = bigger gaps!” But the Tour appears to be going in a different, and equally fruitless, direction. It’s almost like the response to small time gaps in the anaemic mountain stages is just to make everything else anaemic too.
We’ll thee if your blood ith ath red ath mine, Mithter Flair…
On the plus side, the Prat d'Albis stage is not that bad and they at least deigned to put a decent stage on the penultimate weekend for the first time in forever. That's been a real bugbear of mine in recent years.