Signs that your new cycling partner is going to be a problem

[Michielveedeebee]

he smells like cologne

 

[oldborn]

He forgot to unclip from pedals while stoping at you

We all know how it looks

 

[ElChingon]

* Every time you stand on the bike he compliments how hot your rear end looks

 

[mewmewmew13]

* Every time you stand on the bike he compliments how hot your rear end looks

Reminds me of a sight I saw a couple of weeks ago...
was riding with my friends and a guy rode by...his black shorts were worn so thin in the back that you could graphically see his buns....ugh. too much for me---I quickly turned my head. Not something on someone I wanted to see..

 

[RedheadDane]

likes to wear a helmet with mouse ears attached

That would be awesome!

If you were crazy that is...

 

[on3m@n@rmy]

hes a wheel rubber... erratic and can't keep a straight line. you have to be on the defensive when following. This is confirmed later when you hear hes crashed out for touching wheels.

 

[Teafan]

Ok, I'll play.

When he turns up with tyres that are worn through to the threads, proceeds to puncture within the first ten miles and doesn't know how to change an inner tube. And then punctures a further five times more in the same ride. And in the following week he turns up with the same set of tyres.

 

[Quixote]

Won't stop talking about his pre-ride high colonic ritual.

 

[Dr. Maserati]

Can't believe we are 4 pages in and no-one has mentioned my pet peeve....

Getting half wheeled by them.

 

[mewmewmew13]

That would be awesome!

If you were crazy that is...

I'm a bit crazy.
I guess there's a new business for me to start...helmets with attachments? erm..

 

[Maxiton]

36. starts to chat to you about cycling sites and mentions that he hates the moderation on the CyclingNews forum

(hello all, it's been a while...)

Welcome back, Francois.

40) He assumes you'll be riding on the sidewalk.

You gotta admit, that's just sad. But that's actually happened to me. And he wasn't even from the US. He was from Italy.

 

[ElChingon]

Shows up in low rise jeans and a wife beater as a jersey, a cigarette in his mouth and PBR's in his water bottle cages on a fixie with bars just wide enough for his two hands and dress shoes (yes we've all seen the video).

 

[maltiv]

Welcome back, Francois.

40) He assumes you'll be riding on the sidewalk.

You gotta admit, that's just sad. But that's actually happened to me. And he wasn't even from the US. He was from Italy.

In Norway you have to do that way too much in order to not get murdered by crazy car drivers

I prefer crashing into pedestrians!

I'll add another one which happened to me: Your cycling partner tries to outsprint you for imaginative mountain points (I wasn't actually sprinting though) and ends up puking due to exhaustion...on the first hill.

 

[usedtobefast]

Shows up in low rise jeans and a wife beater as a jersey, a cigarette in his mouth and PBR's in his water bottle cages on a fixie with bars just wide enough for his two hands and dress shoes (yes we've all seen the video).

oh, i thought you lived in Long Beach...

 

[Boeing]

you discover he or she has over 1,000 posts on this forum

 

[RedheadDane]

you discover he or she has over 1,000 posts on this forum

So... you're saying that you would be a problem?

I'd be a problem too. Of course I would. I wouldn't be able to keep up with anyone.

 

[Angliru]

n+1) Shows up wearing a sleeveless jersey and arm warmers
n+2) Shows up wearing a sleeveless jersey without shaving his shoulders
n+3) Tucks his jersey into his bibs
n+4) Has a Back-up Bar on his bike
n+5) Doesn't carry a spare and a pump

What is a "Back-up Bar"?

 

[Angliru]

N+6) shorts worn so thin u can see his junk

n+7) I'm sure everyone has unfortunately been witness to the following:
Shorts worn so thin that they're shear like a cheap neglige' from Frederick's of Hollywood, exposing **** crack to all that really don't want to see it.

mewmewmew beat me to it!

 

[Boeing]

So... you're saying that you would be a problem?

I'd be a problem too. Of course I would. I wouldn't be able to keep up with anyone.

in some respects I might be a problem

 

[mewmewmew13]

n+7) I'm sure everyone has unfortunately been witness to the following:
Shorts worn so thin that they're shear like a cheap neglige' from Frederick's of Hollywood, exposing **** crack to all that really don't want to see it.

mewmewmew beat me to it!

LOL!
that just came up on our ride today and we laughed ...it was gross and NOT something I cared to see.

 

[rides like a girl]

Happened today, tries to steal your bottle out of the holder because they forgot theirs. Made me wonder, what else did they forget, tube, pump, money for coffee, car key?

 

[Quixote]

Happened today, tries to steal your bottle out of the holder because they forgot theirs.

I hope that you caught this before the mouth came into contact with the water bottle tip...otherwise, you may have a situation! You can't simply wash that bottle and reuse it! Oh no, it needs to be destroyed...at your county hazardous waste facility. Take it from me, RLG, any riding partner who plans on sharing water bottles is nothing but trouble. Drop him/her.

 

[42x16ss]

Happened today, tries to steal your bottle out of the holder because they forgot theirs. Made me wonder, what else did they forget, tube, pump, money for coffee, car key?

Had that happen on a long training ride once. A newbie to the bunch only had a water bottle and a muesli bar for a hilly 100km ride. No pump/canisters, tube, patches, money, phone nothing. He punctured about 40km in and had to borrow a phone so his GF could pick him up

 

[rides like a girl]

I hope that you caught this before the mouth came into contact with the water bottle tip...otherwise, you may have a situation! You can't simply wash that bottle and reuse it! Oh no, it needs to be destroyed...at your county hazardous waste facility. Take it from me, RLG, any riding partner who plans on sharing water bottles is nothing but trouble. Drop him/her.

Caught it as soon as he did it before he could drink from it...can't miss my pink bottles on a man's bike. I guess my fashion sense comes in handy sometimes. I already dropped him in one way, not over the bottle issue, he is my ex-boyfriend. I agree, had he drank from it, he would have to carry the pink bottle himself, I wouldn't want it back...

 

[ustabe]

What is a "Back-up Bar"?

Don't look now, I think he's going to show us. http://www.backupbarz.com/

Guess I misspelled the name.