First race for 2012!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.
Welcome to the latest one-day race from the CyclingNews Forum World Tour. Your commentator is bicing. Today’s parcours is a mostly flat stage with a 3rd category climb right at the end with an ever so slight uphill sprint. Nothing special but hopefully the riders can make it interesting. We’re just about to receive some visuals in a moment and until then we’ll recap some of the major events pre-race. There were some interesting events that went on simultaneous to the sign-off. Mercyx Index and Dr. Maserati were at a free clenbuterol and hematology health clinic, which many riders happily participated in. Jens_attacks was seen particularly happy with his values. Krebs303 brought his house from Mexico to the start, and was showing everyone. Notably, Jancouver, will10, just some guy and Hugo Koblet refused to sign in as they saw the names of various other riders and thought it would negatively affect their teams. In their opinion, team names had to be kept secret to maintain the integrity of the race.
Immediately before the race’s commencement, the peloton all took a moment to commemorate a historic moment which brought unity to the peloton: the banning of DAOTEC. Although years ago it was still a memorable occasion for the riders. Tears were shed by many riders – admittedly of different forms – DAOTEC had a habit of bringing people to tears, some joy, some laughter, some pain and suffering. The peloton rode together as they rode past a fan-made kilometre of dancing emoticons. As the race commissaire announced the commencement of the race, jens_attacks took off as he usually does. Moments later, Ryo Hazuki and El Pistolero joined him. The peloton has become used to their senseless attacks. The trio quickly built up a lead of 4 minutes, and were held at that rate by Libertine Serguros’ sprinting team. Bavarianrider also took off, confident that his solo effort would be enough to gain him a top ten in this most coveted race. Obviously we won’t hear about him for the remainder of the race.
With 105 kms to go, Libertine Serguros grew frustrated at the dull parcours, took out his GPS and mapped an alternative route, which would take him up a couple of 2nd cat climbs to make the race more selective. Karlboss, Craig1985 and Lupetto went with him. This caused some confusion, Martin318is said something about puppies, which Luke Schmid interpreted as a death threat, causing him to pull out of the race. Boomcie also heard this puppies comment, and via RaceRadio consulted sages and scholars who suggested Martin318is also pull out from the race, which he did. Moments later, Francois The Postman took to the front of the peloton and summarised the incident in great detail, which settled the peloton and everything returned to normal.
The peloton’s slower pace saw the breakaway’s lead pull out to 6 minutes 30 seconds, and one rider took this as an opportunity to attack. FrankDay took off! As the cameras showed his aggressive break out of the peloton he proceeded to show off his short “crank length”, making it clear that this provided him with superior speed. Joining him was CoachFergie, mountaindew, Boeing, Captain Serious and Oldman. The longest they could hold a lead for was 30 seconds, because the group refused to cooperate.
And we now pick up live action with 35 kms to go…
The breakaway’s lead has returned to 3 minutes thanks to the work of the various sprinters teams. The breakaway still contains jens_attacks, Ryo Hazuki and El Pistolero. Clearly they are being kept at bay until the final moments of the race. Intriguingly, Granville57 has escaped the peloton to join the breakaway riders. A bold move! Soon after the rider got away the peloton accelerated quickly, catching airstream and jobiwan off guard! The peloton is happy because no-one likes an Andy Schleck fan. Jordan5000 proceeds to ask various questions about it and everything else that has gone on in the day’s racing so far. A number of riders proceed to answer his questions – Angliru, Michielveedeebee, Benotti69, uphillstruggle, maltiv, Descender, hrotha, 18-Valve. (pithy) and Dancing on the Pedals.
At this point, crosswinds begin to create echelons! Joe_papp, Vino attacks everyone, Fetisoff, KazakhNeRider and rxgqgxnyfz, take to the front of the peloton and create some splits! Jordan5000’s group drops out of the peloton. Importantly, La Florecita and Publicus go out the back, one minute behind a group containing Cobblestoned, MarkvW, Glenn_Wilson and ChrisE. Also in the group, Polish makes a point that La Florecita/Publicus has a lot to learn. This group contains kvinto, ingsve, Ferminal, will10, Eric8-a and Taiwan. Unfortunately La Florecita/Publicus gets no support as the other riders deem her too much of a risk.
The breakaway has 15 km to go and their lead is falling thanks to the fantastic work of the high speed peloton. The crank group gets swallowed up by the peloton and fall off the back in spectacular fashion. At the back of the main group, RDV4ROUBAIX is clearly struggling to keep up with the peloton and almost falls back with them. RedheadDane drops back to show him a photo of a wheel, and he immediately regains his energy. Parrulo, who returns from a team car to take a Polaroid camera, photographs this moment and shows Nobilis, Zam_Olyas, Timmy-loves-Rabo and The Hitch. They take photos of themselves to show each other excitedly. The group are strengthened form each photo, and form a 3rd group ahead of the peloton.
The Polish group regain touch with another group that had fallen out of the peloton, this one containing thehog, Hugh Januss, ThoughtforFood, Berzin, RaceRadio, BroDeal and ScottSoCal. As they cross a major intersection on the road, the alternate parcours group led by Libertine Serguros comes from the other side of the road, almost causing a severe collision! With conviction and determination, each rider stays on their bikes, however the confusion causes the enlarged Polish group to follow Libertine Serguros’ alternate parcours, going nowhere.
Further behind, the La Florecita/Publicus group is joined by airstream and jobiwan, who upon sight of La Florecita/Publicus begin to attack one by one for 1 second each. La Florecita/Publicus’s group tolerates this for a few kilometres before casually riding past them.
The leading breakaway finally hit the 3rd category climb, which means there are 5 kilometres to go in the race. Jens_attacks takes off his helmet as he reaches the beginning of the climb, and is immediately disqualified, leaving Granville57, Ryo Hazuki and El Pistolero. 20 seconds behind and quickly catching up is the Redhead Dane group. Joining them is auscyclefan94 and Eshnar, who came out of nowhere! Another 40 seconds back is the peloton, which are still being led by Joe_papp, Vino attacks everyone, et al. A handful of other riders make up the rest of the group. It looks like the group will all join together.
4 km to go and the group is all together, and moments later Eshnar starts to ride everyone off his wheel. At a stupendous pace, he rides and quickly gains 15 seconds! The group behind is in disarray: El Pistolero and The Hitch were using this race as preparation for the next leg of Timmy’s CN Tour, so they drop back. auscyclefan94 has a mechanical and Parrulo points to laugh. Threatened by Fetisoff’s strong appearance, Vino attacks everyone has a brief discussion with him. Fetisoff immediately cracks and drops out of contention. The oldest in the peloton, ElChingon, administers the exchange and concludes everything is in order.
Back at the front and Eshnar is continuing his epic pace as he passes the 1 km to go banner. And then, oh my god, he cracks! He is almost at a standstill, and the peloton passes. At that moment, a flurry of attacks occur as various riders see victory in their sights. First it’s Dekker_Tifosi, who is joined by boomcie, Nobilis and rxgqgxnyfz. Then AussieGoddess goes with Redhead Dane, Thirteen and mewmewmew13. They are immediately followed by ElChingon, Amsterhammer, nowhereman and usedtobefast. Both attacks are neutralised: Dekker_Tifosi’s attack is countered by the peloton, and in the strangest racing strategy seen in a while, AussieGoddess and ElChingon’s groups pair up and fall back together. Again, ElChingon administers the exchanges.
A bunch gallop is looking likely, and a couple of other leadout men are setting up too: buckwheat and Granville57 are setting up JV1973, and Havetts is setting up Timmy-loves-Rabo…
At the final 350 metres, Zam_Olyas darts out to begin the sprint. In a spectacular fashion, TeamSkyFans, Alpe d’Huez, bladerunner, Mongolian Torque and Zweistein all respond, sprinting out at the same time while being on the same team!! Why they would all do the same thing at the same time is absolutely mindboggling! Dashing past is Havetts for Timmy-loves-Rabo as he passes 200 metres to go. Timmy-loves-Rabo has put in a phenomenal effort! Behind, JV1973 starts to wind up and some riders I cannot see yet are making an extraordinary move from the middle of the peloton. Who is it?
100 metres left and JV1973 has just overtaken Timmy-loves-Rabo who is unfortunately fading slightly. JV1973 has a gap! He looks set to win it! He looks up, turns back and begins to sit up… to slam on the breaks!!
Dashing past is… who is it… who could it be… Wrecktangle with Wonderlance in his wheel. VICTORY! What a superhuman acceleration from these riders. The only question remains is which of the two won. The two riders cross with their arms in the air. Behind, JV1973 is ecstatic celebrating his 3rd place. It’s been his goal all year to get as close to not winning as possible. Granville57 races to his teammate and they embrace. They then strip off their kits, wearing beach clothes underneath and go to the Canary Islands. 4th is Timmy-loves-Rabo, behind RDV4ROUBAIX who just had to follow the wheels.
after stage 4 I was in 3rd place, now I'm 13th ?
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram