Alright, I know I'm posting a lot about this, but I'm getting a lot of valuable info from my people in the field lately.
From what I’ve heard from my sources inside the Vatican, Jesus also struggled with this question during his entire life.
He had countless sleepless nights trying to solve this riddle and is said to have consulted many people about it. The only people he didn’t dare ask, were his closest followers: the apostles. Many times Jesus wanted to confide in Peter, his best friend, but they were rarely alone because Jesus was so popular. The few times they were alone they mostly talked about carpentering and the occasional hot chick in Jerusalem. Jesus finally decided he would ask his dad, God, to answer the question once he was dead.
Now, the last night Jesus spent on earth, he decided to have a crazy party with the apostles and they drank a lot of cheap wine and ate dry bread (which in hindsight seems pretty lame to me, but hey, who am I to judge?). When the evening progressed and most of the apostles were getting a little drunk, Jesus decided to drop the bomb on them and asked: “who is the most wheelsucker in the peloton??”
The reactions to this question have been well documented, notably in a very famous fresco by Leonardo Da Vinci:
We can conclude the apostles were very stunned by this complex question. The emotions visible on the painting range from anger, disbelief, panic, surprise, disgust and sadness to confusion and even anxiety. The bold guy on the left (presumably Judas) just didn’t hear the question and is asking someone to repeat the question. Nobody ever repeated the question to Judas and this made him pretty darn angry.
Jesus died the next day, because Judas (who still felt betrayed) ratted him out to the Romans. When Jesus arrived in heaven and asked his father: “who is the most wheelsucker in the peloton??”, God answered him he had no idea what he was talking about. This made Jesus very upset and he returned to earth to see if no one knew the answer to his question. There he soon realized no one knew the answer and went back to his celestial kingdom, filled with despair.